Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

[Witch Hammer]

Woot!! Keep them plagues coming, Jesus!

Pestilence is beginning to increase exponentially, heralding the return of Christ as foretold in the book of Revelation!! Lord, scorch this toilet to a cinder and take us HOME!! GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH!!

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

Hello Witch Hammer.

I am not pumped about Ebola because I have a colored girl who does things for me and she denies it but I think she does the voodoo with animals that have been hit by cars. I think you can catch Ebola from wild animals we even have monkeys here they are not supposed to be here but they do not care.

If she dies from Ebola I do not have anyone to do things for me do not listen to the neighbors.

Thank you.

Rusty

P.S. Maybe they are chimpanzees.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

I've got the FEVER, Brother! Nothing will quench my THIRST but the BLOOD of JESUS CHRIST!!! TAKE ME JESUS! PRAISE!!!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

Woot!! Keep them plagues coming, Jesus!

Pestilence is beginning to increase exponentially, heralding the return of Christ as foretold in the book of Revelation!! Lord, scorch this toilet to a cinder and take us HOME!! GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH!!

Indeed, Brother. This is 1) a decent demonstration of God's awesome powers and 2) a sure sign that the long-awaited Rapture is coming. And there is PROOF that ebola was created by Jesus Sweet Redeemer.

Biblical proof:
Exodus 9:15
For now I will stretch out my hand, that I may smite thee and thy people with pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the earth.

And proof from electron microscopy showing a single ebola virus particle:


Look at the image. It clearly has the capital 'G' followed by lowercase 'o' on the right and 'd' at the bottom extending upwards, heavenwards! it is GOD'S SIGNATURE!!!

Jesus is coming soon!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

Oh yes, Brother! I'm very excited about the pestilence the Holy Lord will unleash upon the sinners and the unrepentant cowards! I've ordered Ebola plush toys for Christmas gifts this year, as I firmly believe in having a tangible reminder of the importance of a real and genuine Conversion Experience. This works particularly well with the young children, as they have the best imaginations and the Holy Ghost really speaks to their spirits, especially in their dreams and natural fears. Show me child who doesn't wake up screaming and panicked at the idea their baptism may not have truly reflected a sincere confession and acceptance of Christ a few times a week, and I'll show you a child who hasn't thought hard enough about this important decision. I find clutching toys while falling asleep helps their little brains process the gravity of the situation that much better.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

With Jesus on our side, how can we not be pumped about ebola?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

I didn't sleep last night with excitement. Jesus will be here soon, I just know it. It's in the air. I can almost taste the coming of the Lord.

It won't be long until I can finally meet my True Christian friends from across the pond as we join Him in the clouds at the imminent rapture.

Bring on those plagues.


Revelation 21:9
And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues.

JOY

YIC

Jack

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

Indeed, Brother. This is 1) a decent demonstration of God's awesome powers and 2) a sure sign that the long-awaited Rapture is coming. And there is PROOF that ebola was created by Jesus Sweet Redeemer.

Biblical proof:
Exodus 9:15
For now I will stretch out my hand, that I may smite thee and thy people with pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the earth.

And proof from electron microscopy showing a single ebola virus particle:


Look at the image. It clearly has the capital 'G' followed by lowercase 'o' on the right and 'd' at the bottom extending upwards, heavenwards! it is GOD'S SIGNATURE!!!

Jesus is coming soon!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Excuse me for being so fresh, but to me it looks like a penis.

I think the Obola virus only kills the black folks. That is why GOD made the Obola virus to look like a white man peen.... so he can really screw him.


Forgive me .

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

Excuse me for being so fresh, but to me it looks like a penis.

I think the Obola virus only kills the black folks. That is why GOD made the Obola virus to look like a white man peen.... so he can really screw him.


Forgive me .

Sister, while your imagery is on the verge of vulgarity, it rings with the Truth™. God is a MAN, Jesus is a MAN, a whole MAN. And, indeed, the ebola is a MANLY thing to design and manufacture. God is Great, Praise God!

1 John 4:14 - And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son [to be] the Saviour of the world.

->Father - a MAN.
->Son - a MAN.

It cannot be a sin to call a MAN a MAN.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

I think Freehold should be the first city in the world to have a monument celebrating the ebola disease.

I'm not sure what kind of a monument to erect. Surely it should reflect Jesus' anger at homers, negroes and atheists.

If someone has an idea, please pass it along here.

Thank you.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

How about a cringing trio (homer, atheist, nigro) at the bottom, with God tossing down a huge ebola virus like a bolt of lightning at the trio?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

Sort of like this, but rather than 3 nigros, one nigro, one poofter and one atheist.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

I think it is nearly perfect as-is, brother, if you consider that negroes 2 & 3 are the atheist and the poofter. Negroe #1 could just be a garden variety descendant of Ham, a disgrace in its own right.

The only thing I might change would be to have God hovering directly above the three in a squatting position, with His Mighty Rod of Correction morphed into the righteous shape of the Ebola virus and jutting menacingly downward from beneath His robe, the bulbous terminal end having a halo of its own, of course.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Who Else is PUMPED About Ebola?

I am deeply troubled by some of the things you people have been posting in this thread!

Are we not Christians?

Do we not have an obligation to be faithful to God's word and carry His message of love and redemption to the whole world?

And if so, how can you all ignore Matthew 24:36, which says none of us will know when the end times have begun?

Now maybe God is allowing thousands of Africans to get sick and have their internal organs melt because the end is nigh, but then again, maybe He's doing it because the AIDS wasn't enough of a rebuke to change their behavior and He felt stronger punishment was called for.

Maybe we will see ebola continue to chip away at the Negro population for another hundred years before the Rapture comes. Maybe ebola will wipe out ALL the Africans and we'll have five hundred years of Negro-free existence on Earth before Jesus returns, and that would be OKAY because that would be God's plan, playing out EXACTLY how He wanted it to!