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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #1

    God Cures A Cripple: Scientists Freak Out And Create Bizarre Explanations

    And when he had called unto [him] his twelve disciples, he gave them power [against] unclean spirits,
    to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.
    Matthew 10:1



    It's true! A man who was once crippled from a knife fight was miraculously healed recently! He couldn't move or feel his legs, and now he's walking like an old man with a walker, all by himself! Praise Jesus!

    BBC reports, but predictably passes along the bizarre stories scientists fabricated to explain away the miracle. They say they took cells from his nose and pushed them into his spinal cord. Okay, first, Ew. Any doctor who wants to scrape a man's boogers because he doesn't know what else to do is a quack and a fraud. Second, that doesn't even make sense, so who cares? All that does is show the world how desperate you scientists are to come up with something, anything, to deny God's Mercy.

    But the fact is, he can walk because God cured him! God is so good! He cured a crippled just to prove to the world of His Mercy and Forgiveness! As you read about this incredible miracle, don't worry about the confusing scientific jargon. It doesn't make sense because it's impossible. We know from where all healing comes (Matthew 4:23; Jeremiah 30:17; James 5:14-15).

    Now, to be honest, I'm not sure who the True Christian™ is in this miraculous event. I can't imagine it's the Polack because he's probably Catholic. The scientist is, I don't know, Hindu Indian or something, but it doesn't really matter. The point is, the LORD heard the prayers of someone, and answered them!

    And the LORD said, Yes! Yes, you will walk again!

    Praise Jesus!

    \o/


    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

  • Witch Hammer
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 1717

    #2
    Re: God Cures A Cripple: Scientists Freak Out And Create Bizarre Explanations

    Praise Jesus!

    Remember how God cured Christopher Reeve of being a quad right before He killed him and smote his wife with lung cancer?

    Miracles happen every day!

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #3
      Re: God Cures A Cripple: Scientists Freak Out And Create Bizarre Explanations

      And the joos who control the World Wide Media do nothing but mock Christ's healing powers!

      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

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