To Find True Christian(TM) Love

[BrotherLarry]

On goes my heart to find love that is true
Love that will last, love that won't make me blue.
I see maidens so fair - like that one over there
But she doesn't seem to notice, or care!

So on goes my heart, on a journey of hope
In search of a help-meet who won't whine or mope
There's another standing near - eyes of blue and skin so clear
But she glances past me; farewell, my dear!

Despite my being a certified equine gnathologist,
I find myself unloved, unwanted, and of course unkissed
O! That meek one by the tree! Over here! Look at me!
But another man has joined her, I see.

Perhaps the LORD has called me to a life alone
Perhaps He wants me to be a lowly drone
So YES, LORD! I accept that if it's truly your intent,
Just shew me and in Your Will I'll pitch my tent.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: To Find True Christian™ Love

That's a lovely sentiment, brother! I hope the Lord Jesus Christ sees fit to offer you a suitable help meet, unless of course He calls you to celibacy, which would be a challenge, but no doubt you could do it for His Glory, and not in a Catholic/homo way (Matthew 19:9-12).

[handmaiden]

Re: To Find True Christian™ Love

That's a lovely sentiment, brother! I hope the Lord Jesus Christ sees fit to offer you a suitable help meet, unless of course He calls you to celibacy, which would be a challenge, but no doubt you could do it for His Glory, and not in a Catholic/homo way (Matthew 19:9-12).

Well, I can't speak to how the Lord calls anybody, (only the Bible and our wise Pastors can do that) but celibacy seems counter-productive to the Lord's aims right now. Bringing a child into the world means procreating another soul to give Glory to God.


Christians need to have more children to sing God's praises (because, really, He can never hear enough praise) and to outnumber, outflank and outgun the minions of Satan--which is everybody else.


Unless we can stop unbelievers from having sex, they will continue to multiply. They will cost us money in domestic and foreign aid, they will use up valuable resources and they will vote for godless leaders who will make more laws to persecute us.


True Christians need to grit their teeth and propagate for the Lord. Celibacy is only an option for the infertile. No matter how distasteful the process, cranking out Christians is the number three, or possibly number four, duty of Christians.


One possible exemption to this would be for a True Christian to validate, via clear documentation, that he or she has led more believers into the fold than could be born into a proper Christian marriage. If such an individual can demonstrate that they have directly helped save 25 or more souls, then they can be excused from the duty of manufacturing more souls for Christ.


Really, it just comes down to using the tools that God gave you.


Pragmatically Yours,


Handmaiden

[handmaiden]

Re: To Find True Christian™ Love

Hello, all. It was brought to my attention that I may have been employing logic in my earlier post when I pointed out the need for Christians to out-populate the unbelievers.

I am so sorry if I did that! I really didn't mean to do any such thing and I hope that I didn't offend any of my brethren here at Landover Baptist.


The only real authority is the Word of God and that's where my ideas come from. I was reading Genesis and this simple verse spoke to me:


And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

That's Genesis 1:28 for all the unbelievers out there. (The True Christians already know that.)


In accordance with this verse, God's people are not only supposed to multiply; they also have to have dominion over every living thing on earth. The best and simplest way to have dominion over anything or anyone is to outnumber those who stand in your way.


Happily, Christians can make more Christians by both having babies and making converts. Gays, of course, can only convert others to their foul ways. Also, while Gays tend to turn others into their kind one at a time, Christians can preach Truth and help thousands of sinners at a time to repent just like Jesus did. And they can have twins sometimes.


With defiant medical science on their side, some unbelievers can have eight babies at a time. That is why Christians have to step up production. There's no logic needed here-- just math. And God approved of math when He gave Noah his instructions for filling the ark.


Innumeratingly Yours,


Handmaiden