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  • #31
    Re: What kind of music do Baptists like?

    Your jokes are too boring to tell them apart from your usual rants.
    Ooooh gimme one more chance, dude!

    Jesus is on the cross, still alive, with roman soldiers around him.
    Jesus: "John...John..."
    John: "What can I do, my Lord?"
    Jesus: "Come over here...John....John..."
    John wants to come closer to Jesus, but a Roman soldier takes his sword and shouts "Stay away"
    Jesus: "John...come on...John"
    John pushes the Roman soldier and runs towards the Lord, but the other soldiers catch him and cut his arm
    Jesus: "John...John...come over here...John..."
    John pushes the other soldiers and runs a few meters, but he is caught again and they cut his leg
    Jesus: "John...please...hurry up...John..."
    John suffers a lot and lost a lot of blood, but is still strong enough to push the Roman soldiers, and jumps on his leg, but the Romans catch him and cut off his second leg
    Jesus: "John..."
    John crawls towards Jesus, the Roman soldiers take pity of him and let him go to the Lord...
    John, very weak: "What can I do for you, holy Lord?"
    Jesus: "Look over there, I can see your house from here!"

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    • #32
      Re: What kind of music do Baptists like?

      WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?
      Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
      "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
      Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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      • #33
        Re: What kind of music do Baptists like?

        Originally posted by Bub. View Post
        Ooooh gimme one more chance, dude!
        BLASPHEMY EDITED!!!
        Now you got Pastor really mad!

        Sister Talitha

        Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


        HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
        being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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        • #34
          Re: What kind of music do Baptists like?

          Originally posted by Bub. View Post
          What is funny in this joke is not the word "chick". I knew you would translate it like this, "la nana".

          In fact, thats a play on words, a pun:
          la nana = the chick
          l'ananas : the ananas

          The favorite fruit of men = the ananas

          You did not understand because you are not frenchspeaker.
          I did not understand you were kidding because I am not englishpeaker. Excuse me.



          Yes, I'm more subtle than that, even in English!
          So let's see if I understood your joke right:
          What is the favourite food of a homme?
          The ananus.

          No, that can't be it, I must have misunderstood, not even a Belgian could be that sick.
          What is the favourite food of a Belgian man?
          The pink banana.

          Is that closer to the original meaning? Dear Lord, no wonder they call all the men "hommers" over there.
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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