Tweet
Barry Porter
Mr and Mrs. Quinton, of 13 Arkansas lane, were very proud of their secular, liberal boy. Like all secular boys, he ate a complete breakfast containing all the food groups: prozac, ritalin, and of course lots of tofu. That tofu is made is made from ground-up aborted chinese fetuses Mr. Quinton was vaguely aware, but he tried not to think about it. The important thing was that no animal was being hurt.
And they were permissive when he played (unless it involve doing something that might hurt or insult a frog), for being permissive liberals, they believed in sparing the rod. "We don't want to be judged" went their unofficial motto, "so how can we judge?"
Every night their liberal boy said his prayers: "Not my father, who isn't in heaven, you're name isn't hallowed, don't gimme your stinkin bread..." And so on.
In short, the Qintons did not have anything to do with anything miraculous. They simply did not have anything to do with such nonsense.
Mrs. Quinton was a big, beefy woman with armpits that sprouted faster and thicker than the amazon rainforest. She had hardly any neck, though she did have a large, beak-like nose. Mr. Quinton was was thin and effeminite, with disturbingly large hips and weak lungs which prevented him from being manly enough to smoke. He had long, soft fingers, all the better for wagging at people he did not approve of, which was pretty well everybody.
The Quintons had a small daughter named Chelsea, and in their opinion there was no better daughter anywhere. In their opinion Chelsea was so wonderful, there could not be enough of her, so they encouraged her to eat. They even let her talk with her mouth full, for she was always chewing her cud, and of course, they were permissive parents.
The Quintons had everything they wanted, and everything they though that they needed, but they had a secret; in their opinion, a dark and terrible secret. It was their greatest fear in the world that somebody might learn about this secret. If this secret were learned, they would want to die, for it was a very secret secret.
This secret was that they had relatives, some of whom did not share their hatred of America.
(And now I've got writer's block. Anyone else want to pick up where i left off?)
Mr and Mrs. Quinton, of 13 Arkansas lane, were very proud of their secular, liberal boy. Like all secular boys, he ate a complete breakfast containing all the food groups: prozac, ritalin, and of course lots of tofu. That tofu is made is made from ground-up aborted chinese fetuses Mr. Quinton was vaguely aware, but he tried not to think about it. The important thing was that no animal was being hurt.
And they were permissive when he played (unless it involve doing something that might hurt or insult a frog), for being permissive liberals, they believed in sparing the rod. "We don't want to be judged" went their unofficial motto, "so how can we judge?"
Every night their liberal boy said his prayers: "Not my father, who isn't in heaven, you're name isn't hallowed, don't gimme your stinkin bread..." And so on.
In short, the Qintons did not have anything to do with anything miraculous. They simply did not have anything to do with such nonsense.
Mrs. Quinton was a big, beefy woman with armpits that sprouted faster and thicker than the amazon rainforest. She had hardly any neck, though she did have a large, beak-like nose. Mr. Quinton was was thin and effeminite, with disturbingly large hips and weak lungs which prevented him from being manly enough to smoke. He had long, soft fingers, all the better for wagging at people he did not approve of, which was pretty well everybody.
The Quintons had a small daughter named Chelsea, and in their opinion there was no better daughter anywhere. In their opinion Chelsea was so wonderful, there could not be enough of her, so they encouraged her to eat. They even let her talk with her mouth full, for she was always chewing her cud, and of course, they were permissive parents.
The Quintons had everything they wanted, and everything they though that they needed, but they had a secret; in their opinion, a dark and terrible secret. It was their greatest fear in the world that somebody might learn about this secret. If this secret were learned, they would want to die, for it was a very secret secret.
This secret was that they had relatives, some of whom did not share their hatred of America.
(And now I've got writer's block. Anyone else want to pick up where i left off?)
cousins in shame
.
, said.
in them until they are saved
."
.
Comment