The Poetasters' Korner

[Poetic Peter]

Where we shall practice poetry-with a purpose:
no airing gripes about your own feelings, please!

I will form a moralistic poem
for the youngest ones of us;
yes, a children's poem!

It will be about a little mouse
who lived inside a Catholic bakery

"Brownie Mousie" is the working title.

In the intermim, please create and post here your own Godly-oriented poetry?
I ask only that your poems contribute to higher thought or to higher self-regard.

It is proposed to be a critical thread.
Critique the poem for its improvement.

Thank you for enjoying this language given to us by our God
(KJV-16-11)


Peter--mousing out his childrens' poem today

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Mind you, this is a very first draft. It is irregular,
part by design, part by creative impetous to
eject stuff prematurely.

I post it so that you may see how, over time,
a poem of good bones is further refined.
Message is everything, but for the youngest children
we must cater to their infantile tastes.





"Brownie Mousie"


Brownie Mousie kept its housie
at the Catlick Bakery,

where it lived beneath the sink,
squeaking by on Catlick crumbs,

and we think,
on floor sweepings;
these, they bake into their bread.

Such little food poor Mousie had!

One dire day the Catlick Cat
discovered where Brown Mousie's at!
He knew because he found its hat
hanging on a Catlick nail
the Catlicks place to snag, impale.

"Mew 'hail Mary!',
Meow aloud!"
demanded the cruel Catlick Cat.
"Or I'll eat you instantly"
And that demand
was that.

Brownie Mousie could not mew;
our Baptist mouse without a pew
to pray from prey,

or anyone!

So...
frightened Brownie Mousie ran
and found safety inside a pan.

Small wonder of our story is:
The Catlicks never miss a beat
They never waste what they...

...little children, here's a treat!
vended by the Pope, to eat:

http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/8016/screenshot243bp6.jpg

* Fixed typos. No, really! /PD *

[eliot mayfield]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Somebody get the straight jacket!

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

I regret a typo; cannot yet edit post-post!

hanging on A Catlick nail

also, make that "sweepings"?

If a Super Pastor might repair my faulty draft?
I would tithe my teeth today



Peter,
with thanks

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Somebody get the straight jacket!

You are invited, inveigled, to submitt poetry of your own, sir!


Peter,

miffed

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

You are invited, inveigled, to submitt poetry of your own, sir!


Peter,

miffed

What in the sam hell are you talking about? Brother Eliot isn't a nancyboy, and he sure as heck doesn't want to write that homer stuff.

And learn to spell.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

I regret a typo; cannot yet edit post-post!

hanging on A Catlick nail

also, make that "sweepings"?

If a Super Pastor might repair my faulty draft?
I would tithe my teeth today



Peter,
with thanks

..and I guess "aoud" should be "aloud"?
Now it all makes sense.

[Enobarbus]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Brethren, Brethren, unusual as our friend may seem to be, I notice that Pastor Pistle was not altogether unimpressed with his cr poetical efforts. The Good Pastor gets his inspiration straight from Jesus, and different people will worship the Lord in different ways.

Peter seems to have a sound attitude towards catlickers, homers, and other sinners. I vote we let him express himself as he so desires for the time being while praying diligently for guidance from above. If he is of Satan I'm sure that Jesus will send Pastor Pistle a vision to that effect before long.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Thank you, sir.

The whole idea of a poem for children
is to make them laugh
while setting them up (in this case)
for the horror that is
understanding Catholic tastes.

Macular degeneration, dyslexia, handicaps are a problem.
That is a rough first draft above. No-edit ability is a problem.
I am not a problem. Never mind the Tourettes either.
The problem is people need a few days
to get my damned drift.

Welcome to the poetasters' korner poetry workshop
where we fix poetry--not cut the nuts off the poet.

I will fix that poem better and make a audio reading
for the kiddies.

Meanwhile, please post poems of your own here Christians
and lets see who 'eats' who!

Thank you Enobarbus *again*

Peter, slightly gnawed, but as always,
obliged

[Ixi]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Mind you, this is a very first draft. It is irregular,
part by design, part by creative impetous to
eject stuff prematurely.

I post it so that you may see how, over time,
a poem of good bones is further refined.
Message is everything, but for the youngest children
we must cater to their infantile tastes.





"Brownie Mousie"


Brownie Mousie kept its housie
at the Catlick Bakery,

where it lived beneath the sink,
squeaking by on Catlick crumbs,

and we think,
on floor sweepings;
these, they bake into their bread.

Such little food poor Mousie had!

One dire day the Catlick Cat
discovered where Brown Mousie's at!
He knew because it found his hat
hanging on a Catlick nail
the Catlicks place to snag, impale.

"Mew 'hail Mary!',
Meow aloud!"
demanded the cruel Catlick Cat.
"Or I'll eat you instantly"
And that demand
was that.

Brownie Mousie could not mew;
our Baptist mouse without a pew
to pray from prey,

or anyone!

So...
frightened Brownie Mousie ran
and found safety inside a pan.

Small wonder of our story is:
The Catlicks never miss a beat
They never waste what they...

...little children, here's a treat!
vended by the Pope, to eat:

http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/801...shot243bp6.jpg



* Fixed typos. No, really! /PD *

Cute poem pete! I'll submit one of mine soon.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Thanks for fixin the typos!
one other thing, this line should be:

"He knew because HE found ITs hat" * Ask and ye shall receive /PD *

Gotta find the microphone.
Print the picture
and when I've read the poem over the PC,
just flash the picture in front of the child's face.
Shove the picture into the child's hands,
turn around and walk away.

Suitable for age 3-9

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

* Ask and ye shall receive /PD *


Joy! Thank you PD!!

Working on the poem--When it's done I'll stick a new copy here,
with the promised audio recitation. Stick it right here
right in Catholic spy-eyes.

Gonna use a cartooney voice--most likely;
to make the kiddies giggle, at first, see.

Now Pastor Ezekiel, he knows it won't be my regular voice;
no need to diss my manlyhood, OK! Thank you,

Last thing, it is a poem to be critcized to make it better.
This ain't no glam thread.
When you put up your poems for others, expect to get
constructive comments. And if its a bad poem, you both

go to hell.


Peter
paying attention to pain

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Second draft with audio reading in a cartoon voice
to tickle children toward laughter--with a purpose!

http://tinyurl.com/yhk6hb

(Peter Reads)





"Brownie Mousie"


Brownie Mousie
kept its housie
at the Catlick Bakery,

where it lived beneath a sink,
squeaking by on Catlick crumbs,

and, we think,
on floor sweepings
--dirt they bake in Catlick bread.

Such bad food poor Mousie had.

One dark day
the Catlick Cat
discovered where Brown Mousie's at!

He knew
because he'd found its hat
hanging on a Catlick nail
those Catlicks stick to snag,
and impale.

"Mew 'hail Mary!',
Meow aloud!"
demanded the cruel Catlick Cat.
"Or I'll eat you instantly."
And that demand
was that.

Brownie Mousie
could not mew;

our Baptist mouse
--it had no pew
or church to pray
itself from prey
of Catlicks
on that awful day.

So Brownie Mousie quickly ran.
It found safety inside a pan.
The small wonder
of our story is,

those Catlicks never miss a beat.
They never waste what they...

...little children, here's a treat!
sold us by their Pope to eat:

http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/801...shot243bp6.jpg
(print and shove into the child's paw at the finish of the poem)

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

This is quite an old poem, which was collectively composed by several True Christians to celebrate the last Pope's death. Nevertheless, I feel it's worth reposting, for the younger generation to appreciate.
His Holiness the Pope had a hole in his throat,
Through which he sucked the air from the room.
Till one day the Lord
Abruptly got bored
And sent the old fool to his doom.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

This is quite an old poem, which was collectively composed by several True Christians to celebrate the last Pope's death. Nevertheless, I feel it's worth reposting, for the younger generation to appreciate.
His Holiness the Pope had a hole in his throat,
Through which he sucked the air from the room.
Till one day the Lord
Abruptly got bored
And sent the old fool to his doom.

Now THAT is a poem I can understand.