[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Amazingly good. I've very little to criticize of your adaptation.
Admirable restraint. Great rhythms going on in there.
Line breaks--might do with some rethought.

Would cherish an audio reading.
Poetry is most definitely an oral tradition.
(no Oral Roberts jokes please).

I've yet to start my poem.
Having read yours, I'll admit to being cowed!
Your poem is so good, that if mine isn't,
it'll look awful sucky by comparison.

In meditation,


Peter

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Psalm 58

1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.

Hmmm...
Break their teeth O LORD, break their teeth O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, break their teeth O LORD.
Melt their snails O LORD, melt their snails O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, melt their snails and melt their snails and break their teeth O LORD.
Cut their bows O LORD, cut their bows O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, cut their bows and melt their snails and break their teeth O LORD.
Wash our feet in their blood and weigh the violence of their hands and estrange their souls from the wombs before your pots can feel the thorns, and BREAK THEIR TEETH O LORD!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

No haiku in my work; no squint here.
It was encouragement for the Limey at

"Greetings, poetical Christianicles!"



Not a bad quasi-verse in itself; nearly epigrammatic,
I daresay, haw haw



Peter
haw-haw ing
like a lord

Obviously a Brit. No one else would understand that reference.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

No haiku in my work; no squint here.
It was encouragement for the Limey at

"Greetings, poetical Christianicles!"

<snip>

Although I hate all
Japs, I still find haikus to
Be somewhat pleasing.

<snap>

Not a bad quasi-verse in itself; nearly epigrammatic,
I daresay, haw haw



Peter
haw-haw ing
like a lord

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

My love for you is like diarrhea




I just can't hold it in

A poem of Love, by Sister Thumper

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

I KNEW I recognized that horrid jap haiku in your work!

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Fine!

OK, Poets, just so you know, you may reline this already-perfect poetry above,

or you may condense, or emplace alternate metaphor; as to "update" (as if -that- were needed).

Fifty Godly Points for the best haiku version.
Negative fifty points for the worst Limerick form.

Ballad form is suggested for those Poets in Love with this Word.

Or, simple narrative form--that's allowed.

Neatness counts toward your soul's chances,
along with snowballs in hell if you "f" fup.

Peter
prefect

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Psalm 58

1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Excellent! All!


A challenge:

Someone Scriptural,
please select and paste to this thread
some beautifully wrathful passage from the Old Testament.

And from this text, we Poets shall, each one,
make her or his poem in homage of the text,
in whatever Godly form may be inspired as best.

We shall criticize these poems on technical (Godly) points.

All who attempt to meet this poetasty challenge shall succeed!

Or go to... pot!
(please pardon the bad word)

Cheers from
Peter
author of that children's classic,
"Brownie Mousie"

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Another from the same period:

Those were the days. I even wrote one myself:

From Europe to our Yankee friends:
Hail to the fight that never ends.
We'll fight the evil axis powers;
We'll kill their gods and give them ours.
We'll fight for red and white and blue
For you and you and W.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

PREACH IT BROTHER T!!!

My final poetical offering for the day is a poem written by the CATLICK Archbishop Saric of Sarajevo, written in 1941 in praise of the local fascist dictator, Pavelic:
Against the greedy Jews with all their money,
who wanted to sell our souls,
betray our names
those miserable ones.

You are the rock on which rests
homeland and freedom in one
Protect our lives from hell,
from Marxism and Bolshevism.

For Mary-worshipper writing, it's not bad at all.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Another from the same period:
Heathens - Waste their lives
Heathens - Make Jesus cry
Heathens - Listen to the Hives
Heathens - They must all die.

PREACH IT BROTHER T!!!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Now THAT is a poem I can understand.

Another from the same period:
Heathens - Waste their lives
Heathens - Make Jesus cry
Heathens - Listen to the Hives
Heathens - They must all die.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

This is quite an old poem, which was collectively composed by several True Christians to celebrate the last Pope's death. Nevertheless, I feel it's worth reposting, for the younger generation to appreciate.
His Holiness the Pope had a hole in his throat,
Through which he sucked the air from the room.
Till one day the Lord
Abruptly got bored
And sent the old fool to his doom.

Now THAT is a poem I can understand.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

This is quite an old poem, which was collectively composed by several True Christians to celebrate the last Pope's death. Nevertheless, I feel it's worth reposting, for the younger generation to appreciate.
His Holiness the Pope had a hole in his throat,
Through which he sucked the air from the room.
Till one day the Lord
Abruptly got bored
And sent the old fool to his doom.