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  • Daddy Cut His Balls Off

    Oh it was summer of forty-three
    in the state of Ken-tuck-eee
    when Papa yelled out to my brothers of three,
    and he said boys get over here,
    and doncha show no fear,
    cus I'm going to make a man outta each one of ye

    So he took out a saw and said heres whatta gonna do
    I'm going to work with each one of you
    were going to build a chapel
    behind the old dead apple
    and doncha back out or I'll beat'chu black n blue

    So before we began, Papa had to hit the can
    and said he'll just be a hustle
    so don'cha move a muscle
    and so me brothers and I waited
    once Daddy had vacated
    and that's when we hear him cry, "EEEE-YAWWWWWWWW!!!"

    Out came mama, her face was all fluster,
    and yelled to me, "where's yer old pa, lil' buster!?"
    I pointed 'round back,
    and mama darted to the shack,
    and when she came back, her face had gone crack'ed.

    And here's what mama said:

    "Oh, we won't get bread cus Daddy cut his balls off
    he cut 'em off for the Lord.
    Why did'e go an' do that, I don't quite know,
    but we show 'em off at the county show!
    Now be a good Billy be kind to your pa,
    and doncha be a bad boy cus you won't fool pa,
    cus he just chopped his nuts with a lumber saw."

  • #2
    Re: Daddy Cut His Balls Off

    I could probably chop out a few verses, but that would be nuts.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Daddy Cut His Balls Off

      Now hold on a minute; a man who is wounded in the stones may not enter the Lord's congregation. I think your father may have erred.
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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      • #4
        Re: Daddy Cut His Balls Off

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        Now hold on a minute; a man who is wounded in the stones may not enter the Lord's congregation. I think your father may have erred.
        Not so fast brother Faith, of course it is as you say, someone who is wounded in the stones may not enter the congregation (Deut 23:1), but that could mean only wounded by someone else. Fortunately God never is unclear in His teachings, the meaning of the Word is always singular. Let us see what Jesus teaches us in Matthew 19:12: "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

        I do believe that brother Jim's father made an excellent investment in his relationship with God.
        Leviticus 26:15-16
        And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Daddy Cut His Balls Off

          Ah, yes, now that you've used scripture to help me more fully understand the situation, I am inclined to agree. What a beautiful act of selflessness!
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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          • #6
            Re: Daddy Cut His Balls Off

            Originally posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
            Oh it was summer of forty-three
            in the state of Ken-tuck-eee
            when Papa yelled out to my brothers of three,
            and he said boys get over here,
            and doncha show no fear,
            cus I'm going to make a man outta each one of ye

            So he took out a saw and said heres whatta gonna do
            I'm going to work with each one of you
            were going to build a chapel
            behind the old dead apple
            and doncha back out or I'll beat'chu black n blue

            So before we began, Papa had to hit the can
            and said he'll just be a hustle
            so don'cha move a muscle
            and so me brothers and I waited
            once Daddy had vacated
            and that's when we hear him cry, "EEEE-YAWWWWWWWW!!!"

            Out came mama, her face was all fluster,
            and yelled to me, "where's yer old pa, lil' buster!?"
            I pointed 'round back,
            and mama darted to the shack,
            and when she came back, her face had gone crack'ed.

            And here's what mama said:

            "Oh, we won't get bread cus Daddy cut his balls off
            he cut 'em off for the Lord.
            Why did'e go an' do that, I don't quite know,
            but we show 'em off at the county show!
            Now be a good Billy be kind to your pa,
            and doncha be a bad boy cus you won't fool pa,
            cus he just chopped his nuts with a lumber saw."
            Interesting Jim, does it have a tune to sing too

            Comment

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