The Census: A Dangerous Liberal Threat to Our Freedoms(tm)

[H. Montague Worthington]

Some very helpful patriots over at FreeRepublic dot com have recommended a few sure-fire ways to keep the army of intrusive liberal snoops off your property when the 2010 Census comes around. Some of these ideas are quite nifty:

Let's say a perfect stranger, with a badge, approaches and asks for your Social Security number...
Not in a million years.

1 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 12:18:20 AM by Libloather

Just glance at the s/n area on your gun and pretend to repeat what you just saw.

2 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 12:21:50 AM by Paladin2 (Big Ears + Big Spending -->
BigEarMarx, the man behind TOTUS)

Mr. King said census workers will have a badge, a handheld device, a census bureau bag and a confidentiality notice.
Handheld device?
I've got one of them. With six independent subsystems.

18 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 4:21:56 AM by SnuffaBolshevik

Simple solution to this problem is that if ANYONE you don’t know comes on your property when you are home, should be treated as a threat and run off ... PERIOD!

22 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 5:11:34 AM by CapnJack

They will have to climb a fence and walk awhile to get to the house. Then the dogs will have fun and so will I. I keep the compound (I love that word) locked and I’m loaded, that came out wrong, well you get the idea!

31 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 7:08:54 AM by LooneyTick (Of all the things in life I've lost, I miss my mind the most!)

Handheld device?
I've got one of them. With six independent subsystems.
Cool. Mine is handheld, but it takes two hands and operates with a pump action.

35 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 7:32:49 AM by brewcrew

I’ll just ask if they work for ACORN. I’ll probably be able to judge by the reaction to the question.
Then again, maybe I’ll just claim to be working on something for the homeowner and not answer any questions...

3 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 12:25:53 AM by ltc8k6

I doubt they’ll be able to steal my identity when all they will get is "Five people live in this household.", just like that’s all they got last time around.

4 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 12:28:05 AM by Politicalmom ("Energy prices will necessarily skyrocket"-Zero)

Just don't answer the damn door. It's your crib, it's your rules.

8 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 12:42:48 AM by Ken H

Why are they doing a census in the year before The Census??????????

12 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 1:17:55 AM by cookcounty (He who controls the Language controls the Debate.)

When they ask for race, say "Native American".
If you were born here, you are a native American.

17 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 2:04:28 AM by exit82 (The Obama Cabinet: There was more brainpower on Gilligan's Island.)

I answer them. I just don’t answer them accurately!

27 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 6:38:55 AM by Shimmer1 (We can't control the wind... but we can adjust the sails.)

any one besides me get a "Republican Census" in the mail from our wonderful GOP leaders? I tossed mine.
I never toss any mail that has a return postage paid envelope. I stuff the envelope with other junk mail from others and send it back.

29 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 6:43:55 AM by bikerman (Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.)

I'll tell them my religion: Jedi.

30 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 7:02:02 AM by TurtleUp (So this is how liberty dies - to thunderous applause!)

When ever anyone asked me for race I say "human".

34 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 7:23:02 AM by mad_as_he$$ (Nemo me impune lacessit (Two terms for politicians, one in office, one in jail.))

One answer: None of your d*** business...same to the guy who sent you.

45 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 10:25:08 AM by madison10
No way will I answer anything honestly. I live with 24 illegal messicans that all need health care and I need a new car,cell phone and will ask them to tell my bank I don’t have to pay my mortgage. I will cry and cry until ACORN HELPS ME!

43 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 10:07:41 AM by NoObamaFightForConservatives

"Where da white women at?"

24 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 5:30:38 AM by traditional1 ("Don't gots to worry 'bout no mo'gage, don't gots to buy no gas...Obama gonna take care o' me!")

Yo no hablo inglés. Siento mucho. Regrese más tarde, usted puerco.
If they answer in Spanish, then:
Ich spreche kein Englisch. Ich bin sehr traurig. Kommen Sie später, Sie Schwein, zurück.
Klingon would be my next step.

21 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 4:51:44 AM by magslinger (The first dog has papers but the President doesn't. How interesting!-cubsfanconswoman)

Since total ignorance is what elected the current obamanation, I think it's reasonable to answer every single question they ask, including my name and address, with;
"I jes don know"

20 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 4:31:44 AM by muir_redwoods ( Hey, remember the last head of state who dictated the design of automobiles?)

"axing for too much info?"
"So.... When does you and your wife leave for work every day?" "Is the home empty while your away?"
"Do you have an alarm system installed in your home?"

6 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 12:33:13 AM by KoRn (Department of Homeland Security, Certified - "Right Wing Extremist")

I love telling people I am an African American. sure don't look like one, if you use the new, faulty definition.

53 posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 12:01:32 PM by Travis T. OJustice (I can spell just fine, thanks, it's my typing that sucks.)

It's heroic, American Patriots(r) like the men and women above that make me proud to live in the land of the free, the brave, and the dead tresspassers on my lawn!!

GLORY!!

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: The Census: A Dangerous Liberal Threat to Our Freedoms™

Participating in the Census is every American's patriotic duty. Without accurate census data, how can we fairly implement affirmative action programs and distribute welfare checks to poor, unwed minority single mothers?

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: The Census: A Dangerous Liberal Threat to Our Freedoms™

Participating in the Census is every American's patriotic duty. Without accurate census data, how can we fairly implement affirmative action programs and distribute welfare checks to poor, unwed minority single mothers?

Looks like you need a haircut. Did your weedwacker break down?