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I'M PRO-CHOICE on terrorism policy.
I'm pro-choice on terrorism policy.
Here's how it works today: let's say you're an immigrant, and you're Jewish and a group of neo-nazi terrorists abduct you and hold you hostage, while engaging in all sorts of traumatizing behavior, up to and including manspreading and denying you your universal human right to fabric softener.
(If this is too triggering, here's an alternate scenario: say you're an immigrant, and you're Jewish and a group of anti-colonialist activists give you a mostly-peaceful undocumented vacation in their crawlspace, while engaging in mostly-peaceful undocumented intimacy with your female-coded bodyparts.)
Now, at this point people start arguing over which one-size-fits-all policy we should take. Republicans say the best policy is to fight. Democrats say the best policy is to pay whatever ransom the terrorists demand, while changing their profile pics to swastikas because "think of the children".
Instead of arguing until we're blue in the face, we can simply respond the way the hostage wants us to respond. They already told us with their voter registration.
...
If the hostage is a republican, we'll fight.
If the hostage is a democrat, we'll pay the terrorists whatever ransom they demand.
…
Are you a democrat and this seems like a bad idea for some reason?
Maybe that reason is that you're not actually a democrat after all.
Here's how it works today: let's say you're an immigrant, and you're Jewish and a group of neo-nazi terrorists abduct you and hold you hostage, while engaging in all sorts of traumatizing behavior, up to and including manspreading and denying you your universal human right to fabric softener.
(If this is too triggering, here's an alternate scenario: say you're an immigrant, and you're Jewish and a group of anti-colonialist activists give you a mostly-peaceful undocumented vacation in their crawlspace, while engaging in mostly-peaceful undocumented intimacy with your female-coded bodyparts.)
Now, at this point people start arguing over which one-size-fits-all policy we should take. Republicans say the best policy is to fight. Democrats say the best policy is to pay whatever ransom the terrorists demand, while changing their profile pics to swastikas because "think of the children".
Instead of arguing until we're blue in the face, we can simply respond the way the hostage wants us to respond. They already told us with their voter registration.
...
If the hostage is a republican, we'll fight.
If the hostage is a democrat, we'll pay the terrorists whatever ransom they demand.
…
Are you a democrat and this seems like a bad idea for some reason?
Maybe that reason is that you're not actually a democrat after all.
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