Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

After an election without a secret ballot, Thirty-eight-year-old Audra Shay is the new head of the Young Republicans. This is great news.

• For a start, she supports racial conciousness:

Her facebook friend: “Obama Bin Lauden is the new terrorist… Muslim is on there side … need to take this country back from all of these mad coons … and illegals.”

Immediately after his post, Shay responded: “You tell em Eric! Lol.”






She de-friended the politically correct complainers, while keeping Eric as a friend.

• She posted a youtube video that proves that Obama believes he can only “ensure his own salvation” and “fate” if he helps African Americans above whites, complete with captions including (“LISTEN AS HE ATTACKS WHITE PEOPLE")

• She won the election by calling her opponent a pants-wearing lesbian:

On her opponent: "Rachel Hoff attempted to convince the YRNF in 2007 to adopt a stance IN FAVOR OF CIVIL UNIONS. Although Rachel was not wearing a dress like her female counterparts, but her typical suite (sic), her attempt was met with ridicule and frustration. It was overwhelmingly shot down and left the idea in many delegates minds of: Why would Rachel Hoff support Civil Unions?"

• Her response when Obama desapproved of the Military Coup in Honduras: "This is an outrage and I CAN NOT believe this nation has him as our leader! It makes me sick!”
• Supported by Bobby Jindal, which must mean she's a friend of amature exorcism and a foe of volcano monitoring

In conclusion, we have a fresh, young, 38-year old new face on the Republican Party, and soon young people will dropping their video game controllers, snuffing out their bongs, and flocking to the Republican Party!

[Marshall]

Re: Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

She seems like a fine young lady. I wonder if she has been told about Jesus Christs plan for her life.

[HTannor]

Re: Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

She seems like a fine young lady. I wonder if she has been told about Jesus Christs plan for her life.

My thoughts exactly, Brother Marshall.

Should her travels aournd the nation continuing to build that fine organization bring her into this vicinty, I volunteer to undertake intense, personal, one-on-one counselling with her.

In a mere hour or two I believe I can fulfill her need and she can continue her journey with a song of praise in her heart.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

Just when I feel like America is going down for the count, a fresh optimistic person like Audra Shay comes along and inspires hope and a future. God Bless America!!!!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

In conjunction with this historic event the nigra head of the RNC even plans to bring in more supporters

And watermelon for dessert !

[MidwestCatLady]

Re: Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

Well, while all this excitement was going on, Prince Charles was busy too! Heathens in Office all around the World! (Kind of makes the Obama booty stare seem pale by comparison.)

[Sally Paulson]

Re: Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

In Real America, 40 is the new 18. Just ask the Republican Party's "Young Guns":

These upstarts together average an age of 49.6 years old — two months shy of the average age of new members who joined Congress in 2008. And those current reps are no spring chickens themselves. According to one analysis, the 111th Congress is the oldest, on average, of any since 1907.

More than half of the Young Guns, having celebrated the big 5-0, are already eligible for an AARP membership. Only two of the group’s designated candidates– Martha Roby, who is running for Alabama’s 2nd District, and district attorney-cum-reality-television star Sean Duffy, who is running for the open seat in Wisconsin’s 7th District — are under the age of 40.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Meet the new 40-year-old Young Republican head!

In Real America, 40 is the new 18. Just ask the Republican Party's "Young Guns":These upstarts together average an age of 49.6 years old — two months shy of the average age of new members who joined Congress in 2008.

By amazing coincidence, 49.6 is the average IQ of Republican voters, according to a survey done our Marketing Department last year. This was an important discovery. It meant that we were aiming our propaganda at the wrong audience (ie people who could walk and chew gum at the same time). Armed with our new statistics, we've been revamping our political advertising. For example, in 2012 when we campaign for Sarah Palin, we'll be running televised endorsements from people like these:


Our constituents

We may also need to rethink the design of the ballots (or rather, the Diebold monitor display). In the past, we assumed that voters could read the names of the candidates, but now we realize that we'll have to include the candidates's photo plus the easily-recognized GOP elephant. It helps that the Diebold can display pretty full-color graphics.

Now, here's where it gets interesting. We've already paid the Supreme Court to rule that corporations are people and it's free speech to offer unlimited bribes to politicians in the form of "campaign contributions."

We're now working on our next legal challenge, which will allow candidates to put paid political advertisements on the Diebold machines. So for example, when voters step into the voting booth in 2012, they'll get to see a smiling Sarah Palin tell them that her Democrat opponent wants to confiscate their guns and send Christians to concentration camps. Plus using the keyboard and mouse, voters will even be able to "interact" with the candidate, like playing a video game:


Vote for me, and I'll let you spank me with this ruler

Furthermore, a candy dispenser will be placed next to the voting machine. People will soon learn that they'll get a Hershey's chocolate bar every time they vote for a Republican candidate. But if they vote for a Democrat, the machine will spit out a rotten egg.

I can personally see no reason why this would be considered unconstitutional, and I'm sure that our handpicked Supreme Court justices will agree.