Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

It's time to sort out of confusion here. NO, the republican party does not believe Climate Change is caused by anything other than God's wrath. No, the Republican Party does NOT bellieve in Peak Oil, the theory that the oil supply isn't replenished by Jesus every time we pray. No, the Republican Party does NOT believe that air pollution caused by burning fossil fuels is a problem. And the Republican Party does NOT believe the oceans are turning into acidic dead zones because of carbon dioxide. That's just God's wrath for doliphins getting uppity.

Why teabag when you can wedgie?

So why then, this sudden talk about building nuclear power plants? Don't worry - it's just a wedge issue to divide the left. The left is a fragile coalition of science-minded militant atheists - the Jewish Wing, I'll call it - and on the other hand the crystal-worshipping age-of-aquarius hippies who hate science. The hippie wing.

By talking about nuclear power, we set the hippie wing and the Jew wing at war with each other. But nuclear power is just that - a wedge issue. Between 1994 and 2006 the Republican Party had Congress for 12 years, and both congress and the White House for 6 years. Yet we didn't build nuclear power plants and more than we banned flag burning, or stopped abortion, or stopped gay marriage, or prevented smut on TV, or caused less divorces etc. etc. The thing about wedge issues is that they dissapear if you actually do something. Better to just talk about them. Nuclear power, like all other wedge issues, is better heard than seen.

It's not going to happen.

And let's not forget the technical limitations of building 100 nuclear power plants. That requires a HUGE amount of skilled, EXPERIENCED technicians, to build and maintain the whole project. Right now all of our skilled experienced technicians work in the military sector, making and maintaining things like the F-22 and missile shield gizmos. And we don't want to take resources and people away from that, in fact, we want the Air Force to have more of everything. So, that means sending a HELL of a lot of people to university. Which they can't afford (there has just been a riot over tuitions rising by a third) without government scholarships, the money for which you will have to pull from our cold, dead fingers. More university students means more people brainwashed into liberalism.



How can you trust we'll never build nuclear power plants? Here's a list:

• Nuclear power is a waste of fissionable material better used for nuclear bombs
• Nuclear fission was invented by Enstien, a socialist jew, and other jews with similar beliefs
• The French like nuclear power.
• Radiation causes "mutations" aka blemishes, which God hates*, whereas God doesn't hate it when people die from air pollution
• The 2 million people who die from air pollution every year were intelligently smote by God. True Christians™ have nothing to fear from air pollution.
• Scientists are more likely to support nuclear power. Do you trust SCIENTISTS?
• The plot of pretty much every science fiction movie or video game is based on the discovery of nuclear fission, along the lines of "scientist makes a discovery. Everybody dies."

What about a compromise?

There is a compromise possible, which would require the Republican Party to have control the Congress and the White House again. It would involve say, 50 power plants, all owned by a re-incorporated Enron, with all technicians trained by home-schooling in the "Intelligent Atom-Breaking" theory of nuclear fission. Of course they will be paid minimum wage. Regulation will be done by the same expert regulators who regulate Wall Street.



*GOD hates mutants: "Whosoever ... hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;... Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries." -- Leviticus 21:17-23

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

I would like to know why we all can't have miniature nuclear weapons to defend our homes and property. Doesn't the 2nd Amendment mean anything anymore in Obama's Muslim-Socialist Hell on Earth?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

Brother, that is a very insightful and incisive analysis. Another reason why we'll never build nuclear power plants is that the current secular, evolutionist understanding of nuclear fission is undergirded by a theory about matter (and it is just a theory) that Brother-in-Christ Jack Chick has thoroughly debunked:

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

The liberals always whine about nuclear waste, and they don't want any nuke waste dumps built. Of course, I agree that we need to solve this waste problem once and for all, and I got a plan that the Republican Party should adopt into its official platform.

I remember reading that negroes are black because dark skin better protects them from skin cancer. Over there in Africa, it's hot and the darkies run around all day naked or maybe wearing a loincloth, so they need black skin to avoid getting sunburned and catching cancer. Of course, the Lord also made them black because they're evil, but that's another story.

Anyway, the solution is obvious: we can get rid of nuke waste by adding it to breakfast cereal sold in stores located in black neighborhoods. Won't hurt the negroes any since they got dark skin that protects them from radiation, right? We can make the cereal especially appealing to them - maybe watermelon flavor Fruit Loops, or Darkie Corn Flakes with Crack.

Jesus would approve of this plan.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

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So John 1:3 states that all things, including atoms, are HELD TOGETHER BY CHRIST, which means that if you break apart an atom, you are BREAKING CHRIST!

So atomic energy is scientists playing God, no different than stem cell research, cloning, or vaccinations!

[Samuel Coleridge]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

Mere words cannot express my shock at finding myself agreeing with Landoverites on this issue.

I feel as if I have stepped into a bizzarro version of Landover.

I sure the good people at Greenpeace will be extremely happy to have your endorsement as well.

Yours in joy and amazement,

Sam

[Levi Jones]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

I have mixed feelings about nukuler power.

On one hand, I know scientists are evil, but those joos are good enough to do our taxes and lawyering for us. Why not let them heat our homes without that awful smell of burnt hair and screaming?

[Bryan Tamariki]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

Whenever I think about nuclear power or so-called 'climate change' I remember that God gave us the Earth to have dominion over it:

Genesis 1:26-28

26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27So God created man in his [own] image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

[HTannor]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

I really don't see much difference between nuclear waste and the after affects of touching off a modest thermonuclear device.

That said, consider if you will the positive aspects after the mushroom cloud has drifted off. The most obvious one is, of course, the thorough clearing out of man's age-old nemeses: Insects and other pests (I'm thinking here, of course, of how clean Hiroshima and Nagasaki are all these years later).

What more proof do we need than this:

-When was the last time you saw screaming headlines decrying a rat problem in either of those cities?

-Has National Geographic magazine ever run one of its picture stories about plagues of locusts there?

-How about cockroaches – do they even sell Roach Motels in those cities?

Of course not. Case closed.


The slants even left some monuments that withstood the big bang as a token of their appreciation to us for cleaning out those rat infested cities.

Sadly, the best we could do over Tokyo was a firestorm, so they didn’t benefit from our generosity with those other two cities. To this day I’m told by reliable sources there are mouse infestations in and around the city. And I also hear that both Terminix and Raid do a tidy business there.



Now, about the smashing of atoms. I believe our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, doesn’t have any real problem with having an atom or two split for the Greater Glory™ of his mission on earth ridding it of undesirable trash – and rodents. (I’m very sure there’s a biblical tract supporting me – but I’m writing this while enjoying a little “pick me up” at a neighborhood bistro and don’t have my KJV1611 readily at hand.)



I rather like the idea of new nuclear plants being constructed by home-schooled students. They gladly take the vows of poverty and work for modest wages and the only breaks they take are to engage in prayer and for the renewal of their poverty vows.

If asked, I’m also sure they would tithe a significant part of the earnings to our church for its good works. For example Pastor Zeke’s marble and stainless steel kitchen is nearly eighteen months old and sorely in need of a complete makeover. And the LBC arsenal is running a bit low on uranium-depleted ammo (another useful by-product of nuclear plants).

[Jimmy-Roy Stewart]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

That Jack Chick is so smart hes right when he says no one has never seen or measured those gloons or what ever their called so there a made up dream and dont' exist thats' why we have to put are faith in God cause Hes' real.

[Lola Handcock]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

I want all of the electricity produced by this country to be made from nuclear fuel.Coal is OK but its kinda messy.Wind made power comes from Satan.Solar power is silly,its cloudy today!


But nuclear power is never ending and it makes Demons glow green when they are exposed to light made from it.And it makes my PC run faster!

[HTannor]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

Sister Sledge, Brother Emil has taught you well. He's a lucky man.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

I want nuclear power just to piss off the hippies. All that nuclear waste can be placed along the Mexican border to solve the illegal alien immigration problem for the next 10,000 years. I wrote Lou Dobbs about my idea just before his sudden departure from CNN.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

I know I'm older than many people here, but I remember back in the Fifties nuclear power was in. This was the Atomic Age, baby. We were promised nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners, televisions, cars, radios, home appliances, razors, and toothbrushes. Where is all that? Fifty years later we're still running obsolete "electric" technology.

Nuclear power is the most efficient energy in the world. By harnessing the power of the atom, we can create technologies that can only be written about in science fiction movies. We need to press forward to the future instead of lingering in the past using the same old stuff that we used decades ago. America's livelihood is dependent on being one step ahead of the third world around us. Did you know Iran is seeking nuclear power? A toilethole of a nation like Iran is actually catching up to us! We must stay ahead!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Republican Talking Points on Nuclear Power

Nuke power is safe. Here in Texas, we never have any problems with our reactors. Back when Bill Clinton was president, them feds were always poking around asking questions, complaining about us hiring illegal aliens to run them things. But once George W Bush became our Leader, he got rid of all them nosy inspectors and we've had no problem since.

As for the nuke waste, we just seal it in barrels, put 'em in an airplane and drop 'em on Mexico at night. What could be simpler?

Of course, the liberal environwackos always whine about Chernobyl and Three Mile Island. I just want to point out that The Lord made that Chernobyl plant blow up because it belonged to Russkies. And He caused that little Three Mile Island "barbecue" because Pencil-vania is a liberal Democrat state.

It's like 9/11 - The Lord punished New York for having all them fags and abortions.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford