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  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329

    #1

    Waterboarding: Is Godly!

    I saw the bumper sticker "W Stands for Waterboarding" today. Anyway, I Googled it and discovered that waterboarding has a good Godly history behind it. Dating back to 1556, waterboarding was derived from the very Christian practice of dunking suspected witches. Now I know just how smart our president/savior is because just when lieberals thought they had something on HIM (GWB that is) it turns out he is only doing the Christian thing.

    PS Let's remember to include waterboarding in our LBC witch hunting activities this October!
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
  • Larry Lee
    Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
    True Christian™ Theologian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 4464

    #2
    Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

    Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
    I saw the bumper sticker "W Stands for Waterboarding" today. Anyway, I Googled it and discovered that waterboarding has a good Godly history behind it. Dating back to 1556, waterboarding was derived from the very Christian practice of dunking suspected witches. Now I know just how smart our president/savior is because just when lieberals thought they had something on HIM (GWB that is) it turns out he is only doing the Christian thing.
    Yet more verification that these are the most exciting times for a True Christian to be alive! And best of all, GB shows exactly what it means to be a follower of the crucified Lord.
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    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

    Comment

    • Pastor Isaac Peters
      Senior Pastor
      Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
      Always Biblically correct
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 10639

      #3
      Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

      W stands for Waterboarding, which is Wonderful Way to show Christian love and compassion. It's also just the beginning. I can hardly wait until our Divinely hand-picked President repeals the satanically inspired Geneva Convention in favor of Biblical rules of war:

      2Sa 12:31 And he brought forth the people that [were] therein, and put [them] under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brickkiln: and thus did he unto all the cities of the children of Ammon. So David and all the people returned unto Jerusalem.
      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

      Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78551

        #4
        Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

        Originally posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
        W stands for Waterboarding, which is Wonderful Way to show Christian love and compassion. It's also just the beginning. I can hardly wait until our Divinely hand-picked President repeals the satanically inspired Geneva Convention in favor of Biblical rules of war:

        2Sa 12:31 And he brought forth the people that [were] therein, and put [them] under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brickkiln: and thus did he unto all the cities of the children of Ammon. So David and all the people returned unto Jerusalem.
        Praise Jesus, Brother!

        I would also like to point out that Geneva is a eurotrash capital famous for two things: extreme perverted sex for sale, and surrender monkeys. Why on earth would our God-chosen president be interested in adhering to some outdated, "quaint" rules drawn up by such heathens? We are at war!

        Fellow True Christians, it is a NEW DAY dawning!! We are on the verge of ushering in the age of GOD in America. These odious Geneva "conventions" are just the first thing to go. This do-nothing congress has aided and abetted the terrorists long enough. Next, we will rid ourselves of that worthless U.S. Constitution and replace it with the Holy Bible.

        Anyone who objects to this scheme is free to do so (for now), but they will now be shipped off to Gitmo. Glory!!!
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Pastor Ray from Salem VA
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Oct 2006
          • 16

          #5
          Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

          You know, when you simply step back and look at things, you see our left doing all they can to defend the radical Islamists. They do all they can to prevent our government to defend itself against them.

          I really feel the left is attempting to use Islam as pawns to further the left's own plans for total dominence and world socialism. Only they are too blind to realize they will loose to the islamists.

          I always had a feeling that 9-11 was partly a Clinton plan that was supposed to happen a year earlier so as to give him an excuse to declare marshall law and not leave office. Becoming King William for life. The 9-11 plans were in full swing in 2000 but I think the best attack they could do for Bill was the USS Cole. Not near enough for what he had planned.

          Now look at how the left continues to support the enemy and wonder why. And also wonder why they continue to call for OUR surrender while never calling for the enemy to step down. Why is this? Does no one else find this odd?

          Comment

          • Mrs. Rogers
            compassion personified
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2692

            #6
            Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

            Originally posted by Pastor Ray from Salem VA View Post
            I really feel the left is attempting to use Islam as pawns to further the left's own plans for total dominence and world socialism. Only they are too blind to realize they will lose to the islamists.
            ... or perhaps they don't care? Lefties are in love with death, with a special fondness for the deaths of unborn babies. So I imagine they wouldn't be too worried if the Islamofascists win, as it is neither here nor there with regard to their nefarious plan; the mass sterilization of all women of childbearing age, ensuring the gradual yet sure destruction of the human race.
            True Christians are Perfect!

            Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

            Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

            For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

            Comment

            • Daisy Mae Johnson
              The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
              Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
              aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 15708

              #7
              Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

              This kind of waterboarding is GODLY too!

              GLORY!
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              Comment

              • Ixi
                Wretched Unsaved Goth
                Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                • Sep 2006
                • 844

                #8
                Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                Waterboarding is fun, I did it once at the beach.
                A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                Comment

                • Pastor Al E Pistle
                  Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 9323

                  #9
                  Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                  Originally posted by Ixi View Post
                  Waterboarding is fun, I did it once at the beach.
                  Yes, Ixky, waterboarding IS fun! That's why it's so great that the President has told the CIA to take muslim terrorists waterboarding! They have so much fun they just can't stay mad!
                  Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                  "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                  Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                  Comment

                  • SUV
                    True Christian™ Princess
                    The Driving Force behind RA12
                    Have at it, anytime!
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 11027

                    #10
                    Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                    Pastor Ray, I don't Believe we have met! What a fine Christian Visage you have! And, no friend to the demonrats you, eh?

                    I like the cut of your jib, Sailor!!! A Very Merry Christmas to you!

                    SUV
                    Originally posted by Pastor Ray from Salem VA View Post
                    You know, when you simply step back and look at things, you see our left doing all they can to defend the radical Islamists. They do all they can to prevent our government to defend itself against them.

                    I really feel the left is attempting to use Islam as pawns to further the left's own plans for total dominence and world socialism. Only they are too blind to realize they will loose to the islamists.

                    I always had a feeling that 9-11 was partly a Clinton plan that was supposed to happen a year earlier so as to give him an excuse to declare marshall law and not leave office. Becoming King William for life. The 9-11 plans were in full swing in 2000 but I think the best attack they could do for Bill was the USS Cole. Not near enough for what he had planned.

                    Now look at how the left continues to support the enemy and wonder why. And also wonder why they continue to call for OUR surrender while never calling for the enemy to step down. Why is this? Does no one else find this odd?

                    Comment

                    • Ixi
                      Wretched Unsaved Goth
                      Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 844

                      #11
                      Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                      Why would he take Muslims waterboarding?
                      A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Al E Pistle
                        Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 9323

                        #12
                        Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                        Originally posted by Ixi View Post
                        Why would he take Muslims waterboarding?
                        Because they can't swim.
                        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ray from Salem VA
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Oct 2006
                          • 16

                          #13
                          Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                          A Christian woman of your age acting so forward, I guess I'm not in Kansas, that's for sure. You're an extremely attractive woman, Miss Sue Vera, who should be covering her head with the mantel of the Lord, is my pastoral advice to you.

                          Comment

                          • Talitha
                            Deaconess
                            Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2025
                            • 15118

                            #14
                            Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                            It was wonderful news that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, after being introduced to Waterboarding gave lots of important information to the authorities.

                            This person was probably involved in 9/11, The 1993 World Trade Centre Bombing, The Bali Nightclub Bombing, Beheading of a Wall Street Journal Reporter and many other attempted Terrorist attacks.

                            Now for those readers who don't really understand, Waterboarding is a Godly method where you strap someone to a board, and you make them feel as if they're going to drown by immersion in water.

                            In effect, you are converting this Mudslime Demon by the use of Baptism.

                            Click image for larger version

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                            A Pastor Baptises a Terrorist

                            Of course, they will never become True Christians™ but at least it means that at Guantanamo they will no longer need a Prayer Mat and a Lawyer per inmate.

                            It just shows how Merciful the american Government is to allow this fiend to have the luxury of Waterboarding to find Jesus© instead of those Electrodes.

                            Praise The Lord©

                            .

                            Sister Talitha

                            Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                            HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                            being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



                            Comment

                            • Nobar King
                              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                              Christ's Guardian
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 23748

                              #15
                              Re: Waterboarding: Is Godly!

                              Here's some current news about Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

                              It turns out that he was ONLY waterboarded 183 times during one month in Club Guantanamo. I bet the other prisoners were wishing for waterboarding after months of sweltering tropical heat and no showers.
                              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                              Comment

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