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  • Free Market Fred
    The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2009
    • 803

    #16
    Re: God punishes China with earthquake

    Originally posted by mr religion? View Post
    This is clearly set up by a faggot american super christian earthquakes are caused by the movement of the tectonic plates by the earth for reasons I don't know, not because god hates them also to further my point commies seriously communism works it is just the corrupt leaders who think they are superior because they are in power.
    Well, ah, tectonic plates do move for other reasons that have nothing to do with God or geophysics. Back in December 26, 2004, you might recall that little (9.1 on the Richter) earthquake in Indonesia and the subsequent tsunami that killed over 200,000 people. Our public relations people did a great job blaming it on Mother Nature. In reality, my company was doing a little underground blasting (with nuclear weapons we bought on the black market) because we discovered that this would fragment the bedrock and increase oil production from our offshore wells.

    About the 200,000-plus drowning victims - well, what can I say but "Whoops!" Anyway, we did help organize an international effort to collect money for the victims (of which we took a 30% "handling fee").


    Whoops!

    Anyway, there were some long-lasting spin-off benefits from the tsunami. Just one example: for years we'd been trying to get beachside fishing villagers in Sri Lanka to move so that we could build some luxury hotels, but they wouldn't budge in spite of our generous offer to pay them $10/acre. Well, the tsunami cleared them out, which has greatly benefited the tourism industry and our profits.


    Surf's up in Sri Lanka

    Meanwhile, over in Phuket Beach, Thailand, the tsunami has done a great job of urban renewal. Just six years after the mishap, things look better than ever. It was also a great opportunity for President Bush to look presidential giving a live televised speech about helping the victims, though the Thais were horrified at how he mispronounced "Phuket."


    Urban renewal in Thailand

    Now, as for the big earthquake in China, I can state categorically that we had nothing to do with it. It's probably just the Chinks doing a little blasting in one of their coal mines. My company does NOT mine coal in China - we've got enough bad PR to deal with at the moment because of that little "accident" in West Virginia last week. And by the way, that was entirely the fault of the miners themselves - we told them that if they'd just pay for their own safety equipment and gas leak detectors, we'd gladly let them use it, but they were too cheap despite the fact that we paid (slightly) more than minimum wage.
    Praise Jesus!
    Brother Fred
    CEO, The Uranus Corporation
    Put your faith in Uranus!

    sigpic

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    • Songemot
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • Apr 2010
      • 17

      #17
      Re: God punishes China with earthquake

      If huge "natural disasters" are REALLY just natural, why do they only strike sinful places?
      ><>
      "...as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

      Comment

      • Johny Joe Hold
        Mayor of Freehold
         
        • Feb 2010
        • 12557

        #18
        Re: God punishes China with earthquake

        Originally posted by Songemot View Post
        If huge "natural disasters" are REALLY just natural, why do they only strike sinful places?
        To put it in even more simple terms, let's keep score:

        China........................................Earth quake
        Iceland.....................................Volcan o
        Thailand....................................Tidal Wave
        Freehold,IA, Home of Landover......Warm Sunshine

        JJH, Mayor
        Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

        Comment

        • Jocelyn Carolyn
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Apr 2010
          • 52

          #19
          Re: God punishes China with earthquake

          @Johny Joe Hold Jesus Freehold!

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