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  • Free Market Fred
    The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2009
    • 803

    #1

    Homo National Park

    Hello fellow True Christians! Excuse my absence, but I assure you that I've been hard at work this election season, doubling down on my company's lobbying efforts to pass state voter suppression laws to protect our precious democracy from Demoncrats who want to steal the election. But that's not what I want to discuss today.

    I've discovered something very disturbing - that the USA has a Homo National Park. I was alerted to the problem thanks to - believe it or not - a sensible Russian law that was recently passed to control spreading faggot beliefs.

    Russian group: ‘Gay milk’ illegally promoting homosexuality to children

    The People’s Council, an anti-gay group in Russia, claims that Vesyoly Molochnik milk being sold in St. Petersburg violates the city’s ban on homosexual propaganda.

    The milk carton contains a rainbow, “a world-renowned symbol of the gay movement,” according to Anatoly Artukh of the People’s Council. “That immediately put me on alert,” he told Australia’s ABC News.


    Even the cow has AIDS

    St. Petersburg passed the controversial “homosexual propaganda” law in March. The law makes “propagandizing sodomy, lesbianism, bisexualism, and transgenderism among minors” a criminal act. Similar laws exist other Russian cities.
    Needless to say, the thought that gay milk could be given to children to drink is too horrifying to contemplate. But it certainly explains a lot - this is how the gay disease is spread. Just like the commies were behind water fluoridation during the Cold War, they are now spreading gayism through milk. No wonder that 80% of Europe is now gay! And their next target is America!

    And if any more proof were needed, the fact is that the USA already has a faggot national park. It's called Rainbow Bridge National Monument. As you can see, the "bridge" even looks gay.


    Giant stone tallywacker in Utah, a sacred site for homos

    I did some research and found out that this outrageous "national park" was established in 1910 by President William Howard Taft, who - just like Obama - was born in Kenya and was a closet Muslim.


    President William Howard Taft, gay Democrat

    Fortunately, our next president - Mitt Romney - has assured me that he will be selling off all the national parks to private enterprise. As all True Christians know, the whole idea of "government land" and "public parks" is an affront to the Lord, who has always supported privatization, which is why He sold the Garden of Eden to a group of real estate developers.

    So I have a big announcement to make - my company will be buying up this Rainbow Bridge National Park. We will, of course, tear down the phallic "bridge" and cut up the sandstone as it makes nice bricks for luxury home construction. Of course, no American would ever want to own a home made out of faggot stone, which is why we'll be selling it to Europeans, as homo marriage is the only kind that's legal over there.

    I think this is just another great example of how public-private partnerships create a win-win situation for America!
    Praise Jesus!
    Brother Fred
    CEO, The Uranus Corporation
    Put your faith in Uranus!

    sigpic
  • Johny Joe Hold
    Mayor of Freehold
     
    • Feb 2010
    • 12979

    #2
    Re: Homo National Park

    Great work, Brother Fred. You are taking on something big here.

    First, we have the socialist concept of government-owned parks to contend with. Then, homerism symbols gone wild.

    There could be no more important part of God's work than tearing down "Rainbow Bridge".
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

    Comment

    • Bjorn Jensen
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Apr 2012
      • 2356

      #3
      Re: Homo National Park

      Having national parks is no better than the Soviet Union and North Korea. National parks should absolutely be abolished and sold to wealthy American hunters and construction companies. Imagine having Yellowstone or the Florida Everglades as your own hunting grounds!

      Comment

      • Deaner
        Christ's Love Messenger
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 5932

        #4
        Re: Homo National Park

        I don't know about tearing it down. I say we coat it with cyanide and charge the homo's fifty bucks a pop just to lick it.

        Win, win; two birds with one stone... and capitalism in it's altruistic state.

        Comment

        • Little Donkey
          Forum Member
          • Oct 2010
          • 498

          #5
          Re: Homo National Park

          Better yet, break the structure down and put it in storage in a warehouse until a billionaire decides to put it up in a private location or erect it on a super yacht. Preferably with value added features such as plastic dinosaur bones. That is the power of letting capitalism reach it's True Potential.

          Or they could just grind it down and use it like joo hair to line the walkways of concentration camps national parks. What's the point of priceless treasures unless one solitary billionaire can enjoy it?

          Comment

          • Carl the wop
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Oct 2012
            • 462

            #6
            Re: Homo National Park

            Originally posted by Deaner View Post
            I don't know about tearing it down. I say we coat it with cyanide and charge the homo's fifty bucks a pop just to lick it.

            Win, win; two birds with one stone... and capitalism in it's altruistic state.
            I like that, kind of like an American Blarney Stone with the added benefit of culling the homo herd.
            Recovering Catholic.

            Helping restore the "bully" to the "bully pulpit"

            Aspiring to be God's Bouncer..

            Comment

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