[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

If anybody is eternally damned, it's because they REFUSED God's grace though faith in His Son...

You avoided my question. If God cared about everyone, why do you think He created Hell for most souls to endure for all eternity?

[Paul Tarzan]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

So you think Hell is an oversight? You think maybe He knows most people will endure an eternity of suffering, but is incompetent to do anything to help (Matthew 7:14; Isaiah 35:8; Matthew 7:22-23)?

If anybody is eternally damned, it's because they REFUSED God's grace though faith in His Son...

[Alvin Moss]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Last year, the coven which myself and a few trusted friends scouted out got spooked at the last minute and dispersed, leaving us completely empty handed after all our hard work. This year, the same group and I have a new plan. We have acquired something called smart bomb technology. We were unable to get the most advanced example of this new weaponry, due to discrimination from the godless Federal Government, them that control the GPS technology. We got the kind that requires a laser beam to be shot onto the target, which will then guide in special shells fired from our howitzer.

We have located, using great stealth, the location of the meeting place of Mrs. Carpenter's coven. They meet in her house, just outside Poteet.

We intend to destroy the entire property with an artillery barrage, which will be loosed at midnight on October 31. We are hopeful that there will be enough remains to win the contest this year. The experts tell us that some may be crispy, but most of them should have some kind of harvestable body part. We will hold a drawing among ourselves to distribute the prizes.

[Back against wall]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Heathen, all you have quoted is that God does not take pleasure in it. And that one has the oppertunity to see the error of his ways. "Some" (jigaboo nigero apes) will never have that blessing.

You, Tarzan. Me, Jaded (with you)

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

THAT'S A LIE!

God does not wish to see ANYONE eternally damned (see Ezekiel 18:23 and Ezekiel 33:11)...that is why He sent His Son Jesus into the world, to pave a way for salvation through faith in Him.

So you think Hell is an oversight? You think maybe He knows most people will endure an eternity of suffering, but is incompetent to do anything to help (Matthew 7:14; Isaiah 35:8; Matthew 7:22-23)?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

I fully intend to win this year. I bought a brand new grenade launcher at the Landover Baptist Gun Store to make it happen. To prevent the debate of last year about whether or not the fingers I brought in were all from different witches, I will collect left hands this year. They are the most evil part of those witches anyway. There have been suggestions about bringing in heads, but the way I kill these evil witches, there usually isn't much left of their heads.

On a related note; since my annoying ex-neighbor Mrs. Johnson is clearly a witch, I will donate all my winnings to the Landover Baptist Church in name of the person who kills Mrs. Johnson.

PRO TIP: Determining if a woman is a witch is surprisingly simple. If a woman is outside during the witch hunt, she has to be a witch. No decent True Christian™ woman would ever be outside during the witch hunt.

[Paul Tarzan]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Don't be silly. If God cared about everyone, why do you think He created Hell for most souls to endure for all eternity?

THAT'S A LIE!

God does not wish to see ANYONE eternally damned (see Ezekiel 18:23 and Ezekiel 33:11)...that is why He sent His Son Jesus into the world, to pave a way for salvation through faith in Him.

[Back against wall]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

So God doesn't care about "the saved" threatening others' lives...and you know why I specifically mentioned pork and shellfish, right?

I am committed to Him, my God who gave me this strength. If I am to be judged let it be by God. Until then, I know my calling.

Job 27:6 My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go: my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live.
Job 27:7 Let mine enemy be as the wicked, and he that riseth up against me as the unrighteous.
Job 27:11 I will teach you by the hand of God: that which is with the Almighty will I not conceal.
Exodus 15:6 Thy right hand, O LORD, is become glorious in power: thy right hand, O LORD, hath dashed in pieces the enemy.

Just make sure to preserve his jaw bone in tact. Just in case, you know. Sampson slayed a thousand men with the jaw bone of one ass (Judges 15:16). I wonder how many witches you might slay with the jaw bone of this ass!

There are very few I relate to as I can with Sampson.

I will let these witches pick their vile teeth with the jaw of this ass, before I shoot them with my Water Soaker and watch them melt.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

So God doesn't care about "the saved" threatening others' lives...and you know why I specifically mentioned pork and shellfish, right?

Don't be silly. If God cared about everyone, why do you think He created Hell for most souls to endure for all eternity?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Let me guess, you eat arse right?
I swear before God if you disrespect Ms Etheldreda I shall seek out the car you live in and with the strength of ten men that God blessed me with I will split you in two.

Just make sure to preserve his jaw bone in tact. Just in case, you know. Sampson slayed a thousand men with the jaw bone of one ass (Judges 15:16). I wonder how many witches you might slay with the jaw bone of this ass!

[Paul Tarzan]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Let me guess, you eat arse right?
I swear before God if you disrespect Ms Etheldreda I shall seek out the car you live in and with the strength of ten men that God blessed me with I will split you in two.

So God doesn't care about "the saved" threatening others' lives...and you know why I specifically mentioned pork and shellfish, right?

[Back against wall]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

You eat pork and shellfish, right?

Let me guess, you eat arse right?
I swear before God if you disrespect Ms Etheldreda I shall seek out the car you live in and with the strength of ten men that God blessed me with I will split you in two.

[Paul Tarzan]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

Don't be silly. The LORD has commanded that witches ought not live. As He uses mankind as instruments of His Divine Will, can we really do no less than to obey a few simple commands? Considering His Amazing Gift of Redemption to us, via the violent and horrifying sacrifice of His Only Son, can we really say "no" to such a request? It would be the utmost in hubris to accept and benefit from His Perfect Wisdom, but then decide we don't agree with this little detail or that one.

You eat pork and shellfish, right?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

What part of "THOU SHALT NOT KILL" don't you understand...it looks like Churchianity folk are willing to disregard ANY part of the Lord's word to fit their hateful agenda.

Don't be silly. The LORD has commanded that witches ought not live. As He uses mankind as instruments of His Divine Will, can we really do no less than to obey a few simple commands? Considering His Amazing Gift of Redemption to us, via the violent and horrifying sacrifice of His Only Son, can we really say "no" to such a request? It would be the utmost in hubris to accept and benefit from His Perfect Wisdom, but then decide we don't agree with this little detail or that one.

[Paul Tarzan]

Re: 2015 Witch Hunt!

What part of "THOU SHALT NOT KILL" don't you understand...it looks like Churchianity folk are willing to disregard ANY part of the Lord's word to fit their hateful agenda.