True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

[Herman Periwinkle]

I don't think it's appropriate to give candy to children. The Bible warns against being tricked by beggars wanting a handout (Galatians 6:7). So when the kids knock on my door, I want to provide them with an experience that will bring them closer to God. Any child who sneaks onto Landover property and knocks on my door this Halloween is going to get a True Test of Faith™ courtesy of a big bowl of hungry, hungry spiders. Are they poisonous? I have no idea. I've never been bit. Maybe a low-faith child will find out again this year! Praise JESUS!

What do YOU give the little beggars on Halloween?

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[Back against wall]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

I finally got the HELLOWEEN Trick or Trick van finished with this years pretty colors. Every year around HELLOWEEN as a part of my "Do You Know Where Your Kid Is?" campaign I get a new van and I do the rounds to see if any kids are wandering the streets unsupervised. I tell them about naughty games grown ups sometimes play and how HELLOWEEN is evil and God punishes children who celebrate it.

This year I'm having the alluring attractive colors from the Heathen cartoon Scooby Doo! I think the kids will find it more inviting than last years "Apocalypses Is Now" theme (complete with shell shocked war veterans)

Scooby Doo, Where Are You?
Ry Ron't Ro, Rits Rark Rin Rear <- OH SCOOBY!

Should be a Screeeeeeeeeem

[Megan1993]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

I don't think it's appropriate to give candy to children. The Bible warns against being tricked by beggars wanting a handout (Galatians 6:7). So when the kids knock on my door, I want to provide them with an experience that will bring them closer to God. Any child who sneaks onto Landover property and knocks on my door this Halloween is going to get a True Test of Faith™ courtesy of a big bowl of hungry, hungry spiders. Are they poisonous? I have no idea. I've never been bit. Maybe a low-faith child will find out again this year! Praise JESUS!

What do YOU give the little beggars on Halloween?

.

Wow...a spider in their bag. I bet your house gets tped and egged all the time. You could oh idk just put a sign on your door and have it say due to religious beliefs we don't celebrate Halloween you know like any sane reasonable person would do.

[lukasekman]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

I've stocked up with Tide Pods, kids (actual kids, campus leftists, smartphone addicts, Bernie Sanders supporters and vaping millennials) love them. 🍥⚰️

[James Hutchins]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

This year we are handing out to each visitor a Brussel Sprout and a slip of paper with the link to https://www.landoverbaptist.net


A treat for the soul and the stomach. We do not trick visitors, that is Satan's realm.

[Isabella White]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

This year we are handing out to each visitor a Brussel Sprout and a slip of paper with the link to https://www.landoverbaptist.net A treat for the soul and the stomach. We do not trick visitors, that is Satan's realm.

Why, that is such an excellent idea, dear Brother Hutchins, and it's one that is very similar to the method that I've used for decades now. I'll have to remember to write the weblink of on the back of the tracts that I'll be dropping into the kiddies' bags. Some of my favorites include these themes:

Mooselims:


Joos:


Homersexualists:


And ... Cathyolicks. I always love giving these to those hellbound brats from next door; you know, the ones who are forever kicking their football over into my prize-winning dahlias:


A blessed day to you, dear Brother Hutchins,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

I don’t personally believe in Halloween but I do so enjoy the hell house my church puts on every year. I’ve considered printing out some bookmarks with my favorite Bible verses on them to hand out to the kids that come knocking on my door every 31st. Maybe it’ll stop the cretins from demanding candy from my family.

My Pa keeps asking me every year why I am not outside. I remind him constantly that I am too afraid of the skeletons and other demons roaming the streets on that night. Sometimes I wonder if my Pa is just testing me. Wouldn’t you know it though, this year he asked me what I’m going to be for Halloween. I replied “The same darn Christian lady I am always trying to be”. He rolled his eyes at me and walked away. I fear I’m rambling on too much though. Opinions on religious bookmarks?

[BrotherLarry]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

How many of these bookmarks litter the streets the next day? I think you should put on the whole armor of God and get out there and witness to the masses about God’s perfect plan of Salvation(r) through Christ’s Blood.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

How many of these bookmarks litter the streets the next day? I think you should put on the whole armor of God and get out there and witness to the masses about God’s perfect plan of Salvation® through Christ’s Blood.

Brother Larry, that is excellent advice. I’ll give it a try on Halloween. I still have my uncle’s megaphone so that’ll be put to use as well. Been holding onto his stuff until he gets on parole.

[Isabella White]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

I’ve considered printing out some bookmarks with my favorite Bible verses on them to hand out to the kids that come knocking on my door every 31st. Opinions on religious bookmarks?

Bookmarks?!! Dear, as a retired librarian, I feel I should inform you, in case you've never noticed, that most people in this day and age do not read books. They're all too busy watching whatever is on their phone or tablet displays, and that includes using those very gadgets to read "e-books". With that in mind, what are they supposed to do with your bookmarks? As those slips of paper will be useless to them, they will only discard them. And, as our much-beloved Brother Larry has so kindly mentioned, those bookmarks will end up littering our streets. And, as you're obviously unaware of the situation with computer gadgets replacing printed books, then I suspect you'll be just as uninformed when I mention a campaign that had special meaning to our former First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson:



Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Dana723]

Re: True Christian™ TREATS for Trick-or-Treaters

I give the little demon spawns those very hot jawbreakers with a note that says, "If you think these are hot, wait until you get to Hell!"