[Scarlet Wynter]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

Hmm, how did I know you'd find your way to this thread . . .

I suppose you can tell us all about "real" vampires?

With the search option, of course.
All I can say about "real" vampires is simply that you all have been watching too many movies.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

Okay, so God will punish those wearing costumes, that still doesn't mean they're "real" vampires though.

Hmm, how did I know you'd find your way to this thread . . .

I suppose you can tell us all about "real" vampires?

[Scarlet Wynter]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

I will punish ... all such as are clothed with strange apparel. -- Zephaniah 1:8

Okay, so God will punish those wearing costumes, that still doesn't mean they're "real" vampires though.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

I think you're mistaking "real" vampires with normal people who are in costume.

I will punish ... all such as are clothed with strange apparel. -- Zephaniah 1:8

[Scarlet Wynter]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

Please be safe this Helloween season since this is often the time when vampires come out more in public and also get more bold in their activities.

I think you're mistaking "real" vampires with normal people who are in costume.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

Matthew 7:22 How well did you know your exorcist? Why did you need exorcising?

[Kris M]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

While you are defensive you don''t deny you are a Democrat...

Actually...

...And, no, I am NOT a democrat.

...I DID deny it from the beginning.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

And I apologize for derailing the topic, but people started calling me a nazi and a democrat and I felt the need to defend myself.

While you are defensive you don''t deny you are a Democrat. You know who else doesn't deny they are a Democrat?

Jimmy Carter!

(Jimmy Carter also claims to have found Christ at nineteen!)

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

but people started calling me a nazi and a democrat and I felt the need to defend myself

I can appreciate you getting mad over people calling you a democrat.

[Kris M]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

Kris M,

Please stop derailing the topic. The truth of the matter is you scored a 15 on my test which makes you a probable vampire. Anyone who scores that high surely is involved with the occult, blood drinking, Satan worship, etc. I would like to ask you some questions, if you'd be kind enough to respond.

1. At what age did you begin your ritual practice?
2. How often do you have sexual intercourse with succubi, demons, and other spirits?
3. Did you turn to the occult before or after your first gay encounter?
4. Has any minister ever tried to perform an exorcism on you? Would you be interested in one?

I believe Jesus brought you here because He wants you to be healed. Vampirism is curable disease, just like homosexuality or atheism. Through the power of prayer, you can become a righteous young man, and not have your soul whored out to whatever dark Satanic force there is out there.

Reverend, I can assure you, I'm not into blood-drinking or satan worship or ANYTHING like that.

I'll answer your questions here:

1. I don't perform rituals or any sort of witchcraft or demon worship.
2. I've only ever had intercourse with 1 male (who was HUMAN, by the way) and that was before I found Jesus.
3. I've never had a gay encounter and the last time I was even remotely "into" the occult was when I was about 14 and I watched the show Charmed everyday. (Nowadays I can't believe I was EVER into that show!)
4. Yes, actually a minister DID perform an exorcism on me when I was about 19. That was when I turned to God and Jesus.

Now, about your test: about 1/3 - about half of the questions had more to do with emos and rebellious teenagers than they did vampires.
And I apologize for derailing the topic, but people started calling me a nazi and a democrat and I felt the need to defend myself.

[Dr. Josiah Phibes]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

Oh, praise the lord, Reverend. Just to be sure, I gave my lovely wife Beatrice Alabaster Phibes, the test, and it appears that yes, yes she is a vampire, which means all twelve of our children are as well. Well, half vampire and half True Christian!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

Kris M,

Please stop derailing the topic. The truth of the matter is you scored a 15 on my test which makes you a probable vampire. Anyone who scores that high surely is involved with the occult, blood drinking, Satan worship, etc. I would like to ask you some questions, if you'd be kind enough to respond.

1. At what age did you begin your ritual practice?
2. How often do you have sexual intercourse with succubi, demons, and other spirits?
3. Did you turn to the occult before or after your first gay encounter?
4. Has any minister ever tried to perform an exorcism on you? Would you be interested in one?

I believe Jesus brought you here because He wants you to be healed. Vampirism is curable disease, just like homosexuality or atheism. Through the power of prayer, you can become a righteous young man, and not have your soul whored out to whatever dark Satanic force there is out there.

[Kris M]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

By placing your cursor over the red spot indicated, additional insights into one's nature may be vouchsafed HEBREWS 4:13

It doesn't show up on my screen.
What exactly does it say?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

No..

By placing your cursor over the red spot indicated, additional insights into one's nature may be vouchsafed HEBREWS 4:13

[Kris M]

Re: The VAMPIRE TEST: How to Identify These Evil Satanic Monsters

are you Scandanavian?

don't worry, the Pastors will know. Ephesians 3:5 They suspect me of being trash and I must accept that.. well.. I may be..

No, I'm not Scandanavian. What does that have to do with my name?
And it says "forum member" under your name, not "unsaved trash" or "demonworshiper"...