[Dan U. Holier]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Pardon me but I never got the 2011 Witch Hunt permit form, 'Entire Family 2011' version.

My kids are itching at the trigger to hunt against Satan. You should really see my littlest (Moses) with his gun, when he hits the trigger, his tiny body flies about like a rag doll. It is just so cute!

This, and not Disneyland, should be fun for the whole Christian family (just like stoning of sinners) for its didactical and faith-building value.

...That aside, can someone please give me some verification on the Witch Test? I'm beginning to doubt my success. I'm using the "Cold Water Method" but I'm running out of millstones already...

Why wasting time on testing? Let God sort ‘em out later.

YiC, DUH

[Rev.Dr. Six Fingers]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

On Baiting:

It's poor form... This isn't fishing, we're not just sitting in a boat pounding canned bread pulling Gods' bounty from a lake. No, we're out doing the good fight, Good versus Evil. We already have God on our side, why would you need bate?

That aside, can someone please give me some verification on the Witch Test? I'm beginning to doubt my success. I'm using the "Cold Water Method" but I'm running out of millstones already. Now there's some controversy on whether witches sink under the burden of their sins, or float with their witchcraft, but floating could also be a sign of divine intervention. I'd use the "Hot Water Method" but I ran into problems in the past with keeping a pissed off/half boiled Witch around for the requisite three day waiting period...

Anyways, counting the stones I have remaining, I got a bakers' dozen witches at the bottom of the Puget Sound; or at the very least thirteen heathens on the way to hell. So no big loss, and/or happy crabs.

There wont' be much in the way of toes, ears, or googley bits after a couple days with those crabs... Teeth I can provide. Because as luck would have it, while god is merciful, I am not; and I take my time with my witches. Do you need full sets or just one from each witch?

Please advise,

-Ed.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Is baiting allowed? I had planned to tie a black cat to something in the park and just pick off any witches that come to claim it as their familiar.

I had an issue last year with baiting, well not the baiting but the professional witch pricker I had hired to sort out witches from the curious. I would bait them, he would stab them with an ice pick and if he drew no blood I had lured and cornered a bonafide witch. Imagine my embarrassment when I found out that his ''ice pick'' was spring loaded and retracted back into the handle. Let me tell you that it was as big a surprise to me as it was to everybody else. Naturally I had to subtract all witches he had identified for me thus putting me out of the running. I, for one, believed the pricker when he said that his machinery had just started malfunctioning right before the judges examined his equipment. His resume was impeccable, coming from a family of prickers from Scotland who have been in operation since 1642.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Is baiting allowed? I had planned to tie a black cat to something in the park and just pick off any witches that come to claim it as their familiar.

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Pardon me but I never got the 2011 Witch Hunt permit form, 'Entire Family 2011' version.

My kids are itching at the trigger to hunt against Satan. You should really see my littlest (Moses) with his gun, when he hits the trigger, his tiny body flies about like a rag doll. It is just so cute!

[JessicaLovesGod!]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Stephanie Meyer is the sass tongued daughter of the arch Atheist PZ Meyers (otherwise known as Richard Dawkin's cabana boy) To show you how vile atheists are to each other Meyers tried to sell Stephanie on the bridal market and received no buyers (Gee PZ, I can't imagine why one one would wed you boomerang brat when she chants "death to all male oppressors!" every day)

Stephanie counts as a witch since she is into nature worship - biology.

In that case; I have gotten one witch so far! But I have to check my trap later to see if I got more! This witch hunting is quite fun, AND we get to rid the world of that awful scum!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

She is a mormon, and a witch, that would make her twice evil!

Stephanie Meyer is the sass tongued daughter of the arch Atheist PZ Meyers (otherwise known as Richard Dawkin's cabana boy) To show you how vile atheists are to each other Meyers tried to sell Stephanie on the bridal market and received no buyers (Gee PZ, I can't imagine why one one would wed you boomerang brat when she chants "death to all male oppressors!" every day)

Stephanie counts as a witch since she is into nature worship - biology.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

I've already got 3 in the bag!

Pastor Zeke Had you gotten your ''2011 Witch Tag'' before these 3 were bagged? Nice pick up either way.

[Proud Faroese]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Quick question; Would Stephanie Meyer count as a witch? I believe I might have gotten her, but I'm unsure if she counts? Father says she would; after all he did go with me as I got her.

She is a mormon, and a witch, that would make her twice evil!

[JessicaLovesGod!]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

Quick question; Would Stephanie Meyer count as a witch? I believe I might have gotten her, but I'm unsure if she counts? Father says she would; after all he did go with me as I got her.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

I've already got 3 in the bag!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

Someone here would let his wife choose her own gun? Daisy, sometimes you crack me up.

The wife would ask her husband for permission first of course. Not all wives should have guns though. I tried it once with my own wife but she accidentally shot me 5 times in just a few minutes so I decided guns are not really her thing. Others like Sister Talitha can get any gun up and have it firing in no time.

Have you managed to capture J.K Rowling for the witch hunt this year?

I got her last year, but her family keeps using old video footage to pretend she is still alive. As if no one would notice she stopped writing books.

[Proud Faroese]

Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

Have you managed to capture J.K Rowling for the witch hunt this year?

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

I killed 2 witches with my Hummer just on my way to the hunting grounds already! ...

Wait… my wife just complained how her mother doesn’t answer her phone; good, since their yapping cost me a fortune. Now, after reading your post and since my mother-in-law entirely fits to description, I hope for the best. I might owe you a beer. Okay, two beers; I should show some respect to my in-laws, shouldn’t I?

Dear brothers and sisters, don’t ever misunderestimate the power of prayer!

YiC, DUH

[Didymus Much]

Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

...WinnersPastor Zeke will receive the coveted 2011 Witch Hunt Award...

FTFY.

...a gun of his/her choice...

Someone here would let his wife choose her own gun? Daisy, sometimes you crack me up.