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Finally out of prison... again!
Aw boy am I glad to be out again. So to catch y'all up... I ended up talking to my ex-wife again, and everything was great! I had completed the Ex-Gay program, and she promised never to touch another man. I thought the LORD was with us once and for all and was proud to start a new family after so much anguish.
When she finally got pregnant, something seemed weird. The baby's skin tone was considerably darker than mine. Like... what the hell? She told me the doctor said it was a birth defect, but I don't think there has been a single black in my family tree. I am a pure-blooded Baptist white man, and I served the Lord by continuing to be a good husband.
So 2 months after the first birth, she get's pregnant again! "Praise Him," I thought. Finally we will have a white child. There's no way it could be the same birth defect twice. She said it was a "one in a billion" thing too rare for me to find on Google.
So what the hell, this one is even darker than the first!! Now we've got these two black babies and my whole family starts makin' fun of me like I'm not the real father. BULLSHIT! I remember the night my wife requested the condom with my seed in it. I was there! I know I'm the father of these kids. Anyway, I digress. This is where it gets ugly.
So 3 months later, what do you know? Pregnant again. So halfway through this one, she warns me that she might only be able to have black babies. I figured as much, so that explains why they all came out black. Some kind of genetic expression disorder or some crap. Whatever.
So when she's 7 months pregnant, she asks me if I'll start recording some videos of her. I think, why not, she must be wanting to put some Hymns on youtube or something. Boy was I mistaken!
So the very first time we try to record these songs, she texts her friends to come over and sing as a quartet. I thought four girls would be much nicer to watch, as well, so we waited for them arrive while my wife warmed up her throat and vocal chords.
So it turns out, all three of her friends were big black bucks! She TOLD me she was done with them! Anyway, they start ravaging my wife (as they are wont to do) but my wife wouldn't let me stop them! They tied me to a chair and made me watch some awful things. I'd rather not talk about it.
When they were finished and untied me, I naturally went to my gun-safe and pulled out my Colt AR-15 I got at the gunshow and put an end to the problem. Apparently, this is against the law. Show me one passage in the Bible that says you cannot kill a buck violating your Manhood. It's not there. I searched.
Anyway, I ended up getting 6 years and 8 months in prison for the triple homicide. The judge told me I was lucky no white-folk were involved, because three blacks is the equivalent of 1/5th of a white in rural Texas jurisdictions. My joo lawyer found some kinda loophole from an old 1800s court case. Praise the LORD those moneygrubbers are good for somethin'!
I'd just like to thank you all for holding down the fort and keeping this place clean of heathens, heretics, and trolls. It has always been a treasure during lonely nights.
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