Mission to London, UK!

[BrotherLarry]

Have you ever wanted to see London at Christmas? Fancy some figgy pudding and/or turkey with mashed turnips while you anticipate your wassail? READ ON!


Have you ever wanted to share JESUS with British heathens as you rip them from the Church of England, spitting in the face of Her Majesty?


I am organizing a True Christians™ ONLY Mission to the UK, with our primary emphasis on London. All you need to bring is appropriate clothing for the season (average 6 degrees Celsius - brrrr!). It's also generally quite wet during the month our Savior was born. You'll need a King James Bible (of course!), extra money for souvenirs or incidentals, and a heart filled with the love of Jesus! Imagine sharing our LORD to the descendants of Ebenezer Scrooge! Wow! Our tour will be led by me, since I am probably the most knowledgeable of the area. There will be a couple of hours daily when someone else will take over while I speak to the townspeople of horse dentistry and its importance to the Glorious Appearing.


Will you be able to see the sights of the city? YES! For an extra fee you may enjoy several sights. Remember the purpose of the trip is to bring unwashed sinners to the fount of Christ's Blood, not scurrying around tourist traps.


We are planning to journey from NY City's luxurious JFK Airport on Friday, December 14, and leave from Heathrow on Friday, December 21. You'll be home in time to worship the LORD on His Birthday! We are experiencing real British life by staying in luxurious bed and breakfast locations in the lush Green Lanes area of Harringey. For just a few US Dollars more, you can upgrade to the Thousand Dagger Road Guest House where entertainment prospects are greater. You'll feel safe walking the streets sharing the love of Jesus regardless of your choice of accommodation!


Ready to travel? Glory! A deposit of $3000 USD is required by November 15 (cashier's check, MC, Visa, AMEX accepted). The remaining $14,890.29 must be remitted by December 10. Our mission will leave you blessed and uplifted, knowing you've helped fulfill the Great Commission.


ADDED BONUS: We will call on some of our True Christian™ brothers and sisters in the area to share an evening of fellowship, food, and fun as we go about the guesthouse neighborhood caroling. (You must be able to sing well)


Details: Contact me by private message or leave questions here in the thread. London is going to be the LORD's TOWN soon!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

What a shame that we will miss you, Brother Larry! My husband has just told me that we'll be in Freehold that week. You can imagine my disappointment. But if there's anything I can do to facilitate your stay in Haringey, just let me know. For example, if you need a Kurdish or Turkish interpreter, one of the domestic staff may be able to help.

Have you ever wanted to see London at Christmas? Fancy some figgy pudding and/or turkey with mashed turnips while you anticipate your wassail?

I think only the Scotch eat turnips. Oh, one of the boys tells me that we feed them to the cattle - if you let me know where you're staying, I can get some delivered. In Haringey you can expect such delicacies as dowjic and yaprax. I'm sorry, but nobody knows quite what they are.

I do hope you manage to find one or two members of the Godless Church of England in London and that you have an absolutely lovely trip! As to seeing the sights, don't miss the famous Elephant and Castle roundabout - I always advise our visitors to rent bicycles for the full experience. With luck, you will have an inch or so of wet snow.

For just a few US Dollars more, you can upgrade to the Thousand Dagger Road Guest House where entertainment prospects are greater.

This is slightly worrying, as the only Dagger Road I know of is in Lisburn, Northern Ireland (not to be confused with Lisburn, Portugal). That is quite a distance from Haringey. I do hope you haven't fallen foul of Airbnb scammers?

I would offer you our guest house, but we are a good 80 miles from Haringey - further, on a wintry day - and you wouldn't want to be separated from the group.

All the very best, Brother,
YiC
Joanna

[Dana723]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

With my husband currently in jail, money will be tight. However, I might be able to send one of my boys. Maybe my second one. He has bad teeth and would fit in well over there. He is not a yet, but perhaps this would help him convert over into one.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

With my husband currently in jail, money will be tight. However, I might be able to send one of my boys. Maybe my second one. He has bad teeth and would fit in well over there. He is not a yet, but perhaps this would help him convert over into one.

nope. Must be a True Christian(tm).

[Esther B.]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

Once again, may the Lord bless you, my dear Brother in Christ. Do you need any new clothes made for the trip?

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

We've made some changes to the itinerary for our mission to the British Isles. Here are the most important changes:


1. Deposits are non-refundable.
2. The destination is no longer England. We are instead going to the town of Nederland in the state of Maine.


If you wish to cancel your reservation for London, please do so no later than Friday, September 21. While refunds are not being given, all monies collected will go toward the Pastor Ezekiel Airplane Fund in care of Mayor Hold.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

The people of London will be sorely disappointed, Brother Larry. I'm not familiar with Nederland, Maine - I must ask one of the children to look it up for me.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

We've made some changes to the itinerary for our mission to the British Islesthe state of Maine...

Still with the passport troubles, Larry?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

I wish I could attend but I'll be in Vermont Christmas week with my twinn nieces, Mandi and Sandi along with a team of Vegas Nativity Dancers who do a pageant showing the birth of Jesus. Bob Wallace and Phil Davis are arranging it.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Mission to London, UK!

Still with the passport troubles, Larry?

I usually don't respond to people who don't believe in my Almighty LORD GOD, but since you seem to be posting with a spirit of genuine caring, I'll make an exception.


The simple answer is: a little. My South American mission trip raised a few eyebrows. However, I'll have it all straightened out in time for my mission to the Greek Isles in January. If you would accept that Jesus died for YOUR sins I might take you along.