If you HAD to choose another religion....?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Wondering for a friend who's been having a crisis of faith... what would you choose to worship if there was no possibility of being Christian any more?

I think the other major faiths are out of contention - just too laughably wrong. A bunch of conflicting rules clearly designed as a means of handling property transfer (incl. slaves, women, ass, etc.)? No thank you. Maybe Wellness™... but who can stand the smell of Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina for very long? Not many.

It's got to be Prosperity™. People's numerical rank is easily calculated and "Goodness" actually means something unlike our bullshit most religious concepts. The infrastructure is also in place - work for the unblessed, management to correct moral failings, leadership to provide visions, television to spread the corporate gospel. I can definitely imagine this.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

I agree, Dr. Toole, the prosperity gospel would be the one for me. Pastor Zeke preaches often that a healthy tithe to Landover Baptist will bring those of us in the pews financial rewards. I can attest to that.

Pastor Joel Osteen preaches prosperity. The problem with him and anyone else that leaves True Religion™ is they are too light on sin. Salvation is for eternity. I would explain to your friend he can have a win win: Rekindle that faith and live the current life in luxury. Then, it's luxury after we die.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

Brother Mayor, you talk often of sin. What specifically is on your mind when you think of "sin"? So the younger readers can understand. Or is it too personal to share?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

Brother Mayor, you talk often of sin. What specifically is on your mind when you think of "sin"? So the younger readers can understand. Or is it too personal to share?

Get question, Dr. Toole. I'm not a theologian but I've learned about what God and Jesus want from Pastor Zeke's sermons. Homerism is the greatest sin. Let's look at the difference between Pastor Zeke and Pastor Joel Osteen.

Both of them preach that the way to personal financial success is to tithe more. They differ about the sin of homerism.

When Pastor Zeke preaches against homerism he goes into great detail about how homers have intimate relationships. It's almost painful to listen to it. The message is there, something so disgusting has to be the sin Jesus hates most of all.

Pastor Osteen admits the Bible calls homerism a sin. But he immediately jumps to, "...but lets be positive here. We love you homosexuals. We want you here in church etc., etc. .."

If I were out of town and had to attend another church it would be Pastor Osteen's. When he riffs to positive things about homers I would slip to the Starbucks in the back of the church.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

Pastor Osteen admits the Bible calls homerism a sin. But he immediately jumps to, "...but lets be positive here. We **** you homosexuals. We **** you here in church etc., etc. .."

Thank you for sharing what sin means to you personally - and yes, I also prefer hearing the Truth from Pastor Zeke over some glib potty-talk from Joel "the Sliming Preacher" Osteen. Sorry Mr. Mayor, I had to edit out family-unsafe words from your post as there may be children and women reading.

When he riffs to positive things about homers I would slip to the Starbucks in the back of the church.

A Starbucks? What a great idea! Let me just quickly check...

John 2:13-16
13 And the Jews' passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting:
15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;
16 And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise.


As long as they avoid selling doves, or changing money, I think a Starbucks is legally OK. Unlikely they'll start selling oxen and sheep. What a great idea!

[handmaiden]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

If I HAD to choose another religion than I would be an unbelieving Jew--but only if I could marry into the right family.

I mean Hell is a horrible fate, but the Rothchilds have it pretty good in the here and now.

[Isabella White]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

Get question, Dr. Toole. I'm not a theologian but I've learned about what God and Jesus want from Pastor Zeke's sermons. Homerism is the greatest sin.

When Pastor Zeke preaches against homerism he goes into great detail about how homers have intimate relationships. It's almost painful to listen to it. The message is there, something so disgusting has to be the sin Jesus hates most of all.

Pastor Osteen admits the Bible calls homerism a sin. But he immediately jumps to, "...but lets be positive here. We love you homosexuals. We want you here in church etc., etc. .."

If I were out of town and had to attend another church it would be Pastor Osteen's. When he riffs to positive things about homers I would slip to the Starbucks in the back of the church.

Oh, my dear Brother Mayor Hold: I do hope that you will not think of me as being an interfering busy-body woman, but I feel that I must mention that Staryucks has a history of supporting those perverts, with "human rights" initiatives, or whatever false name they want to assign to SIN.

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

I Corinthians 6:9 "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,"

Oh, yes! This campaign by Staryucks, to legitimize sin as being acceptable, has been going on for quite some time now. It's sad — and disgusting — to think that such a great, company would dare to spit in the Face of Almighty !

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

"F*ck hate." Interesting sentiment. It's acceptable to hate Christians and coddle homosexuals so they die of AIDS and go to Hell but it's unacceptable to love Christians and demonstrate love for homosexuals by trying to help them get into God's good graces. This is the status of today's hate-filled liberals and their Orwellian doublespeak.

[Adam Fag]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

I think I'd like to be a Jain. That or Zen. Is Zen-Jain a thing?

They both sound kind; that or Sikh but Sikhs have a god don't they?

If I HAD to choose, I think I'd leave the "God" bit out.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

I think many here should step back and approach the question of "another religion" systematically. First, each person should state the objectives he/she wants from the religion. Then, that person should measure each religion against the objectives to find the best one.

I'll illustrate by sharing how I approach the question. In my case, I want a faith that provides me pleasure and wealth in the present life. I add to this the requirement it provide pleasure and wealth for my eternity. The only faith in the world which meets both requirements is Landover Baptist Church.

So, if for some reason LBC was no longer available, what's the next best choice? It is a faith that provides one or the other of the two above. Joel Osteen's church provides one, affluence and abundance in this life. It fails to deliver the second but is still the best available with no LBC.

Seriously, everyone should think this through to its logical conclusion. Periodically, such as right now, we have Presidents who might suddenly outlaw certain religions. Biden hates our LBC more than any other. If Biden takes it away, we need to be ready.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

Look if I had to join a false religion, it doesn't really matter which because the end result would be the same. But I might as well go with Muslim so I could just detonate and go straight to Hell instead of suffering the indignity of living life as a Jew or a Buddhist or a Lutheran or some other clownish horror.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

If I have to choose another religion, it would be only if the Catholic Church were to be false. And i would chose it in the following order:

1. Oriental Orthodoxy: It makes more sense than Eastern Orthodoxy, since it came first. Both would also prove that the true Church didn't went further than its first council.
2. Shia Islam: It just makes sense that Muhammad's cousin would approve of a doctrine with Saints and rosaries, all of which are holy to God. The only bad thing is that celibacy is forbidden.
3. Mormonism: Some would laugh at a cult who was started by a Fairy-tales writer. But what if we really become "gods" after death? It might be a good alternative to Saints.
4. Theravda Buddhism: Although Vajrajana looks more similar to Catholicism, it is this doctrine that came first. It may look painful to reject iconography and anything that appears as "superstitious", but if Buddhism is the truth then only rationality and costant meditation untill death matters.
5. Wicca and other Pagan movements: Altough most of the polytheistic stuff is either dead or difficult to believe in, adopting it may be a good idea. Who knows if Kali's Yogurt, or wathever is called, is real?

If I forgot something feel free to tell me.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

If I forgot something feel free to tell me.

I'm not a Biblical scholar, but I'm fairly sure some of what you said falls in the category of blasphemy. Tsk tsk, trust the non-Christian to stink up the thread.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

If I have to choose another religion, it would be only if the Catholic Church were to be false.

So can we assume you'll be converting to one of your other choices then? And you forgot Scientology, Voodoo, and Esoteric Nazism.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: If you HAD to choose another religion....?

If I have to choose another religion, it would be only if the Catholic Church were to be false. And i would chose it in the following order:

1. .Oriental Orthodoxy: It makes more sense than Eastern Orthodoxy, since it came first. Both would also prove that the true Church didn't went further than its first council.
2. .Shia Islam: It just makes sense that Muhammad's cousin would approve of a doctrine with Saints and rosaries, all of which are holy to God. The only bad thing is that celibacy is forbidden.
3. .Mormonism: Some would laugh at a cult who was started by a Fairy-tales writer. But what if we really become "gods" after death? It might be a good alternative to Saints.
4. .Theravda Buddhism: Although Vajrajana looks more similar to Catholicism, it is this doctrine that came first. It may look painful to reject iconography and anything that appears as "superstitious", but if Buddhism is the truth then only rationality and costant meditation untill death matters.
5. Wicca and other Pagan movements: Altough most of the polytheistic stuff is either dead or difficult to believe in, adopting it may be a good idea. Who knows if Kali's Yogurt, or wathever is called, is real?

If I forgot something feel free to tell me.

I've picked out one for you: if you can't spot it, it's the one highlighted in yellow. I was surprised that you seem unaware of the arch-pagan movement based in Rome? Surely catholicism is "wicca" already. Perhaps you missed this from OP -

if there was no possibility of being Christian any more?

For that to work, you'd need to be Christian in the first place.

What is your definition of Christianity?