Hiring an assistant - need questions

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

As you know, it's gotten harder to find anyone willing to work these days. Don't get me started on the benefit system...! But there's work to do and somebody needs to do it for me. Normally I'd have an assistant do it but those lazy bums left when Joe Biden started handing out $600 checks.

I'm jotting down a few questions to ask during the interview to help sift the wheat from the chaff.

1. Do you love to work hard without overtime pay?
2. Are you highly motivated to ignore your own needs?
3. Is your demeanor professional because I don't want to hear any personal blah blah?
4. Where do you see yourself in 10 years because it won't be here?
5. What is your greatest weakness and it better be working too hard?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Hiring an assistant - need questions

Just a suggestion, I didn't see a question as to the greatest President in U. S. history? I ask that when interviewing for the City of Freehold.(You can't believe the answers I get, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln. Goodbye applicant.)

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Hiring an assistant - need questions

That's a fine question, Mr. Mayor. Unfortunately the work-shy types that apply for jobs, rather than take business loans and create jobs, are not smart enough to understand executive leadership.

Plus I don't really care about their personal snowflake opinions. Just someone young and attractive and female with a can-do attitude who brings their own bootstraps to pull themselves up by. If the job doesn't offer healthcare (it doesn't), build a healthcare company.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Hiring an assistant - need questions

Doc, all the Mexicans employed at my motel are hard working, highly motivated, professional, and best of all they'll take less than minimum wage. They can make beds, scrub toilets, vacuum, all that kind of thing. Just keep them away from each other or they make the most horrible racket. We're all friends here, so I feel comfortable sharing with you fellas that my motel is part of a network that transports these young women around to different parts of the country to do work of various kinds... I could send you one. PM me and we can talk prices.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Hiring an assistant - need questions

Doc, all the Mexicans employed at my motel are hard working, highly motivated, professional, and best of all they'll take less than minimum wage.

Brother Lukes, thank you for your illiberal comments. Based on your business experience do you think it is important for the slugs to have a corporate motto? It's just I had an idea for one: To bring honor and glory by suffering and sacrifice. I just need a business idea. Thinking retail... pizza, clothing, fashion. Probably should put the motto in Latin too.

Regarding the other matter, we should involve Youth Minister Harry who is an expert on this type of export. He's been absent for a few years inexplicably. Fingers crossed it's a serious illness and not Thai prison - nasty place!