A question for Capt. Portway

[SayvedByTheLord]

Brother Aaron I have been vexed by this question. What do you do when someone barfs onboard the Landover jet?

Wondering,
Sayved

[Juliette]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

Brother Aaron I have been vexed by this question. What do you do when someone barfs onboard the Landover jet?

Wondering,
Sayved

Stupid question. Of course the Captain has his staff and servants to deal with this kind of things. When in charge af an entire aircraft, its staff and passengers. Who has time to deal with silly little things like this?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

Brother Aaron I have been vexed by this question. What do you do when someone barfs onboard the Landover jet?

Wondering,
Sayved

Well, I personally wouldn't do anything. Unless they actually vomitted directly on me, which did happen once. But Pastor Zeke had had a very long night of ministering in Patpaong, Bangkok and he was regailing me of some of the poor souls he had saved when we hit an air pocket and he became ill right in my lap. Thank goodness I always keep another all-cotton (no mixed fibers for me!) uniform with me at all times!

Normally one of the comely Landover AirJesus Flight Sisters would clean up any mess like that. If they are on their toes, which the usually are, they get the passenger who is feeling unwell a Godly airsickness bag. He is an image of an official Landover Airsickness Bag, front side and the back as well

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

Sister Juliette I understand that he has staff to deal with these things, I should have been more specific with my question, my apologies.

• Does he have them immediately thrown from the aircraft or
• Does he head for the nearest airfield and have them stoned to death on the tarmac or
• Does he continue on to the current destination and then have his staff dispose of the barfer in an appropriate manner.

YIC,
Sayved

Stupid question. Of course the Captain has his staff and servants to deal with this kind of things. When in charge af an entire aircraft, its staff and passengers. Who has time to deal with silly little things like this?

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

• Does he have them immediately thrown from the aircraft or
• Does he head for the nearest airfield and have them stoned to death on the tarmac or
• Does he continue on to the current destination and then have his staff dispose of the barfer in an appropriate manner.

I am furious. Did you read Captain Portway's post?

Pastor Zeke had had a very long night of ministering in Patpaong, Bangkok and he was regailing me of some of the poor souls he had saved when we hit an air pocket and he became ill right in my lap.

You're suggesting that Pastor Ezekiel should die because he has a weak stomach? He is a spiritual luminary, and his knowledge of the Bible is unparalleled. I think we can overlook his girlish constitution.

[Nobar King]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

It took a lot of time to get the barf smell out of my car when my friend Delores Duggans puked on the seat. I can only imagine that an airplane would have a higher incidence of these types of occurances, and that they might be a true test of patience.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

I just got something caught in my throat. It hit my gag reflex and I lost my lunch. Don't tell me that hasn't happened to any one of you men.

Thanks for bringing back unpleasant memories, SBTL.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

I just got something caught in my throat. It hit my gag reflex and I lost my lunch. Don't tell me that hasn't happened to any one of you men.

Thanks for bringing back unpleasant memories, SBTL.

Sorry Pastor! I guess I should have been a bit more coy about exactly which Pastor gagged all over my lap! No harm was done, the good folks at the Landover Fluff-n-Fold laundry got my blue pilot's pants as clean as a whistle!

And Brother Sayved,
You may be confused about who is allowed on any of the Landover AirJesus planes. They are strictly for Pastor and Pastor-approved passengers. And the comely AirJesus Sisters and by special request Brothers of course.

There have been some employees and guests that have not been invited back, but not for air sickness related incidents, mostly confusion about the duties and requirements of the air staff.

Any True Christian™ who either lives in Freehold or happens to be visiting is certainly welcome to look me up if I'm in town. I can arrange a tour of one of the hanger areas and if you get Pastoral approval, one of the older AirJesus planes!

[Jean Poole]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

Oh, Cpt. Portway, this reminds me. Could you fit in 22 for a flight to Hawaii next week? We're ministering to the Godless Heathens over there.

[Captain_Asshat]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

I am furious. Did you read Captain Portway's post? You're suggesting that Pastor Ezekiel should die because he has a weak stomach?

Praise Captian Porterway! I glad I wouldn be kicked off that Landover Jet for anythin silly lik pukin or shittin maself!

Had a really bad case of explodin' diaoreahh on ma las flight, an couldnt mak it to the toilet on time. I put it down to those bad tacos ah had for breakfas. Had ta sit for remainder of the flight stinkin, wi shit runnin down ma legs. The Stewardesses wer real-mean to me cos of it!

Praise that Landover Understan these things! When can I fly???

[Jean Poole]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

Why don't you listen, Asshat? It's for TCs only.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

Oh, Cpt. Portway, this reminds me. Could you fit in 22 for a flight to Hawaii next week? We're ministering to the Godless Heathens over there.

Sister Jean,
You'll have to get a Pastor's approval first. I'm sure one of them would like to go to Hawaii with you all to soak up some sin!

Praise Captian Porterway! I glad I wouldn be kicked off that Landover Jet for anythin silly lik <deleted> or <deleted> maself!

Had a really bad case of explodin' <deleted> on ma las flight, an couldnt mak it to the <deleted> on time. I put it down to those bad tacos ah had for breakfas. Had ta sit for remainder of the flight <deleted>, wi <deleted> runnin down ma <deleted>. The Stewardesses wer real-mean to me cos of it!

Praise that Landover Understan these things! When can I fly???

Never!

Why don't you listen, <deleted>hat? It's for TCs only.

Thank you Jean. Why this disgusting blob of heathen inhumanity has not been banned is beyond me!

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

If I may humbly offer a suggestion...perhaps the aircraft could use an in-flight film about taming the gag reflex? In my younger days, my friend Linda taught me how to do this.

[Captain_Asshat]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

Thank you Jean. Why this disgusting blob of heathen inhumanity has not been banned is beyond me!

Hey knucklehead! Ah hav been banned from here... TWICE NOW!

An ah DONT want banned again... that why i bein so nice an all. Why can't I get be promopted to True Christer TM??? I really tryin this time, an Pastor Zeek said he'd prompote me when Hell freezes or somethin. That mean I got a good shot, right???

Hey, they prompoted YOU, so ah mus hav some sort of chance!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: A question for Capt. Portway

You revolting POS we are all promoted when Jesus commands our Godly Pastors® to do so.

You are apparently making Him sad but He has not yet given up on you.

It is not for us to understand why this is but merely accept it.