LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

[Mistress Cookie]

I'm going through old boxes, etc., because the IRS is closing in after some misunderstandings were made regarding my late husband's "ministry" (I now see it for the Pantycoastal scam it was), and I don't want them to rake in too much at auction.

There are many secular evils in these boxes I'm throwing on the BBQ, but the most appalling is my old ThighMaster.

I can only say I now see that the Husband should be the only Thigh Master in a True Christian™ home. I don't even want to DISCUSS this satanic device. But I urge all True Christian wives to ditch theirs if they're still lying around.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

I wonder what Sister Tali uses to make her thighs so tough. I've heard she is capable of squeezing a fella in two with them?!?

Probably just prayer.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

I wonder what Sister Tali uses to make her thighs so tough. I've heard she is capable of squeezing a fella in two with them?!?

Probably just prayer.

I think they have to ride bicycles in Europe. Perhaps all of that peddling helps Tali stay in shape? But I am concerned about those foreign bicycle seats. I hope Tali has a nice big padded one with granny springs.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

I am concerned about those foreign bicycle seats.

That device is...I am flummoxed.

We should carry screwdrivers in our purses, so if we see those wicked seats anywhere, we can promptly remove them.

See how they like riding home after THAT!

[Talitha]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

I never ride a Bicycle.
Bicycles are known to stimulate a Woman's unmentionable filthy parts and It's well known that Lezbeans use them to attract other Lezbeans.
They even have "special" seats to "signal" to one another



I have to admit though, I do work out regularly.
I bought an ultra-modern gadget a couple of years ago and have never looked back.
Notice how this machine allows one to excercise, read a Godly Bible and smoke at the same time.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

I wonder what Sister Tali uses to make her thighs so tough. I've heard she is capable of squeezing a fella in two with them?!?

Probably just prayer.

Reminds me of the old joke about the four kinds of female orgasm.


1. The positive orgasm... "OH YES...OH YES!!

2. The negative orgasm... "OH NO.... OH NO!!"

3. The ecclesiastical orgasm... "OH GOD... OH GOD!!"

4. The fake orgasm...
















... "PASTOR AL ...OH Pastor Al!!"





Bless you, my cellulite sisters,
Father Mo



.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

Father Lester, please remember there are ladies present who are not accustomed to your pagan ways and "humor".

We are attempting to discuss a serious threat to True Christian™ womanhood.

I wonder if we need a Ladies Only lounge, like the Men have.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

I wonder if we need a Ladies Only lounge, like the Men have.

You already have one... it is called a kitchen dear women. I am sure that on this point the men of Landrover will agree with me.


Bless you, my future Oreo filling,
Father Mo


.

[Talitha]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

You already have one... it is called a kitchen dear women. I am sure that on this point the men of Landrover will agree with me.


Bless you, my future Oreo,
Father Mo


.

Perhaps then, we should have a "Dress wearers" Lounge instead. I'm sure you'd enjoy discussing Frock lengths with us

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

Perhaps then, we should have a "Dress wearers" Lounge instead. I'm sure you'd enjoy discussing Frock lengths with us

I fail to see the humour in this attempt at skirting the issue at hand. Part of the rich history of The Catholic Church is our occasional use of ceremonial dress to further celebrate our direct lineage to Jesus Christ... who wore frocks as he gathered up twelve men who left their wives to live with him and a Hooker none of them slept with. In the same way we act in the manner of His example we sometimes dress that way as additional tribute to His words and deeds.




Bless you, my menopausal misanthrope,
Father Mo.



.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

Is it true that The Catholic males also wear the long dresses to be more like Mary, who you seem to worship so slavishly?

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: LADIES: Throw out your ThighMasters!

Is it true that The Catholic males also wear the long dresses to be more like Mary, who you seem to worship so slavishly?

Mistress Cookie and that strange man in a black dress - oh that's right, Father Mo have reminded me of a little Catlick joke...

Saint Mary's Catlick School for Girls seemed to be having a little problem during recess. It seems the girls were fighting over a particular bicycle on the playground. Until Mother Fatima finally had had enough of the girls' bickering. So Mother Fatima raised her megaphone to her mouth and shouted "girls, if you don't stop fighting over that bicycle, I'm going to put the seat back on it!"