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  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329
    #1

    Grieving Connie Wilkerson and 1991 Ford Tempo 4 Sale!

    I regret to inform everyone that Connie Wilkerson has passed away. Lots of you folks (who go to church regularly) will remember Connie Wilkerson for her whimsical crochet kitchen towels. Connie made thousands of those nifty kitchen towels and sold them at the LBC craft sale. And she donated every penny from her sales to Jesus!

    Anyway, Connie was a good Christian gal who owned nothing, but a 1991 Ford Tempo. And on her deathbed, Connie gave specific instructions to make sure her daughter who suffers from Epilepsy DOES NOT get her hands on that Ford Tempo. Every penny from the Tempo is to go to Jesus' favorite church - Glory!

    I want to give our members the first opportunity to bid on this fine automobile, finished in "pure as the driven snow white". Never been in an accident, but the power steering pump leaks, so it will have to be towed away. Please post your generous bids on this thread!
    Attached Files
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
    Tags: None
    • Daisy Mae Johnson
      The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
      Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
      aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 15708
      #2
      Re: Grieving Connie Wilkerson and 1991 Ford Tempo 4 Sale!

      I will place a bid of $500.

      If I win I'm going to give it to the impovrished new Brother Jimmy-Roy or something. I think he said his wife is pregnant and their trailer needs repair. I'm sure they could use a reliable vehicle.
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        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556
          #3
          Re: Grieving Connie Wilkerson and 1991 Ford Tempo 4 Sale!

          Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
          I will place a bid of $500.

          If I win I'm going to give it to the impovrished new Brother Jimmy-Roy or something. I think he said his wife is pregnant and their trailer needs repair. I'm sure they could use a reliable vehicle.
          I don't think Jimmy-Roy can afford $500. He's already got a 1986 Ford Granada up on blocks in his front yard, and it's been there for years. I've asked Brother BJ and his boys in security to talk to him about that. His mangy mutt keeps having litters of pups in the back seat. It's an eyesore.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Nobar King
              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
              Christ's Guardian
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2007
              • 23748
              #4
              Re: Grieving Connie Wilkerson and 1991 Ford Tempo 4 Sale!

              Is that THEIR lawn?? Someone needs to talk to them.
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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