X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • Jimmy-Roy Stewart
    Tin Tither
    True Christian™
    • Oct 2008
    • 234
    #1

    Hi everybody did you miss me?

    Hi everyone its me again good old jimmy-roy you might of heard that i was arrested in the wicked city of des moines better known as sodom iowa some kooky cultist acted all stupid so i had to haul off and let him have it the cops decided to take away my free speech as a Christian by locking me up i didnt think id make bale unless my debbie would hock her wedding ring and dip into the childrens collage fund but like Pastor Ezekiel told me that one time its not like my kids will ever go to collage lol but you know what God provides there was this prosecuter (sp?) who agreed with me that the joe hoveys wetnesses arent right in the head and anyway he said that he would drop charges if i stayed at his house and preformed certain services for him well like my daddy always told me and like the pastors always tell me you gotta obey authority so i did what he said and now here i am again but not everything is going so good i got lade off at the lawn care company now i need to figure out how im going to tithe oh well maybe my debbie will have to hock her wedding ring after all lol.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Hi everybody did you miss me?

      It's good to see you back in town. I smelled your '64 Chevy pickup going by the other day. I talked to the judge in Des Moines (who isn't a True Christian(tm) but is a cooperative Methodist) and asked him to help you out. So don't forget to show Jesus how grateful you are in your next Tithe offering.

      By the way Jimmy-Roy, isn't it about time to take down your Christmas lights? If you're too lazy busy to do it have one of your litter do it. Those little monkeys climb the trees on my estate all the time, so I'm sure they can climb a ladder.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Bob4God
          Moderator
          Arms Dealer for CHRIST
          Hands folded for Jesus
           
          • Apr 2008
          • 5274
          #3
          Re: Hi everybody did you miss me?

          Welcome back, Jimmy!

          I'm sure JESUS shed a tear of happiness when you took down that Jehovah's Witness! It's my guess He's adding a few more giant diamonds to the doorway of your Heavenly mansion as we speak.
          sigpic
          The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
          - Proverbs 15:3

          CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


          CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


            Comment

            • Jimmy-Roy Stewart
              Tin Tither
              True Christian™
              • Oct 2008
              • 234
              #4
              Re: Hi everybody did you miss me?

              Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
              It's my guess He's adding a few more giant diamonds to the doorway of your Heavenly mansion as we speak.
              I sure hope so brother my earthly mansion isnt in such good shape right now but then as the pastors always say we should be building up treasure in Heaven even if it means doing without on earth.

                Comment

                • JennyD
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Sweet Placid Sister
                  Forum Member
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 9567
                  #5
                  Re: Hi everybody did you miss me?

                  Sorry, I've been so busy planning the Tax Day Tea Party excursion that I hadn't really noticed you were gone.

                  Perhaps if you stayed away longer, people would have a chance to miss you!
                  www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                  Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                  Christian Ladies:
                  Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...