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Monty strikes again! I just purchased one each of every one of the possible 175,711,536 Mega Millions tickets. That means that I will win the jackpot of $370 million, plus $31.9 million in lower prizes, for a total of $401,959,213 in total winnings. That's a $226,247,677 profit!
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Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
Congratulations on your wise investment!Originally posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
I'm sure Pastor Pistle eagerly awaits your striking of the Godly PayPal button and ten percent tithe. -
Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
Thank you. You see, all you need to get ahead in America is a little bit of smarts and the will to succeed (having $175 million lying around to cover all the possible winning numbers helps, too). That's why I become so disgusted when I see the LIEberals and DEMONcrats enabling the sloth and laziness of the Negroes, cripples, retards, and other "poor" minorities. Boo hoo! Get a job and invest! Just look at me-- I took $175 million in tax-free inheritance and off shore slaving, er, factory profits and more than doubled it in one day with a little hard work and thrifty industry. I'm sick of these people who want something for nothing.Last edited by H. Montague Worthington; 03-06-2007, 11:34 PM.Comment
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Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
Praise! Of course you realize this means the muffins are on you next Sunday.
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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!
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Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
Congratulations sir! Brother Monty, you are a shining example of True Christian™ masculine old-school capitalism. Would that just a few of these willfully homeless families you always see in the Jew York Times get off their lazy butts and show some gumption the way you do, why then our country would enjoy even more prosperity at the expense of the yellow people of the world, not to mention the wetbacks, as Jesus intended.
You are the envy of the skybox pews, Brother M!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
Oh, HO! I'm sure that a Man of Brother Worthington's great Baptist....stature....will want to give his entire windfall to the Church!Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Baby Jesus needs a new Solid-Gold-and Diamond-dust-coated Diaper for next year's Manger Scene!
We wouldn't want to wait until the last minute, now would we?Comment
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Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
How long did you have to wait in line to purchase that many tickets?
I would have pity on the guy behind you who's coffee got cold while waiting for them to print out, but he probably deserved it for not getting there seconds before you.
PRAISE JESUS!!!
YIC
VJudges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.Comment
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Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
How sad, it seems there were two winners, and Brother Monty will have to SHARE the prize!Comment
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Re: I Have Won Tonight's Mega Millions Lottery
Oh dear. This means that Brother Monty will have to tithe 20% instead of the usual 10%. GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED.Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)Comment
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