[Nurse Clampett]

Re: You're Invited: Rev. Jim's 69th Birthday Bash Extravaganza!

Happy Birthday Reverend!!!!

[James Hutchins]

Re: You're Invited: Rev. Jim's 69th Birthday Bash Extravaganza!

Wow, what a night of amazing sights and experiences. The guy that did the Michael Jackson spoof was so real that I could of sworn he was the the real deal. I had met him before his demise (?) so I had something to compare to. I really was impressed. If I did not know he was dead, I of thought that, well, you understand.

Rev. The mass prayer session held at at you new home (which is absolutely incredible, never have I seen so much polished marble and sold gold fixtures in my life). My nieces told me they spoke to God many times. I had a few Biblical experiences too, though not as many as I would of when I was younger.

[HTannor]

Re: You're Invited: Rev. Jim's 69th Birthday Bash Extravaganza!


It was a great party and the turnout was terrific.

I’m still recovering because I just couldn’t get enough of the punch, and at only $5.00 a glass a real bargain. That stuff had a real kick to it. (Some may quibble about having a cash bar there, but they probably don’t realize the expense of putting on a party like that and I know that my $969.69 ticket really didn’t cover all the costs.) I feel the 75 dollars I spent on the punch was just a drop in the bucket.

Reverend Jim, I was so happy that you allowed some of your niglets to attend. It was a nice touch having them light the sidewalk for those arriving at the party.



My ticket allowed me back-stage access and I got to meet Wayne Newton. He introduced me to the beauty on his arm and said she was his niece. Wayne looks so young it’s hard to believe he has a niece who must be nearly his age. He gave me an autographed picture.



After moving on I was both pleased and surprised to run into Rush Limbaugh. Brother Jim, you didn’t mention Rush was going to be there and it was such a pleasure to meet him. I asked him why he seemed to have a bit of a pained expression on his face and he told me he was having some back pains. I offered him some aspirin but he pulled out a bottle and said he was carrying something a “bit stronger” with him. I saw him a few minutes later and he was smiling and laughing so I guess his pain reliever was kicking in.



The evening just got better and better and I was stunned to see Sarah and Todd Palin arriving at the party. I managed to get next to Sarah and offered her a pie recipe. She paid me back with a recommendation on roasting a moose leg. Sadly, the fine couple had brought the retard with them and he was kicking up a bit of a fuss. I always have a few Milk Bone biscuits in my pocket for my dogs, so I gave one to the tyke. Sarah was grateful and said the little guy was teething and was really chewing on one of her…………..uh, mommy things and that the biscuit would help. She gave me a personalized photo.



I didn’t get a chance to meet Rev. Bakker. He was over in the corner saving some poor soul. I couldn’t see who she was since she was on her knees and her back was toward me. The good reverend had a dreamy look on his face so I suppose he was feeling the rapture. Does anybody recognize the lady he was saving?



Leaving the party, I saw Officer Richards keeping a watchful eye on the parking lot. He said he only had to fire two warning shots all evening long so there must not have been too many Unsaved Trash trying to crash the party. He kindly assigned one of his off duty brethren to drive me home.