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As we all know, Senator Ted Kennedy was finally caught and killed by Jesus a few weeks ago. His life was spent doing the Devils work and drinking so it was little surprise when his filthy brain was cancered by God and he died in a wet diaper drooling softly to himself. Praise the sweet mercy of the risen Saivour!
Honestly I wish that more of the faculty and Pastoral staff had been able to make the trip but considering the nations worst Liberal had just died and airlines were packed with grieving communists and weeping homosexuals it wasn't any wonder so few from Freehold proper showed up. I would like to extend a warm thank you to Ms Judy Shannondale of Freehold Iowa for making this old farmer blush when she hugged me right in front of the entire youth squad! I don't think my heart has beat that fast since I first converted her from Methodist to Baptist back in 1999! It was truly a pleasure seeing you again ma'am.
In celebration of Jesus excellent judgment in personally kicking Teddy into the abyss, the Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex went on a week long celebration as classes and fieldwork were suspended. (daylight field work only) There were pit barbeques, music and dancing, swimming and all manner of contests with Christian prizes given to the winners, John F. McBee being the overall top winner with 5 total trophies and jars of preserves totaling $135 not to mention a fine 300 lb Charolais calf courtesy of the 3K Farm(Jack Locklear owner). Axe throwing, log pushing, tractor tricks and smear the queer were only a few of the manly and Godly things we passed out prizes for. Jakob Tannerly set a new county record for tractor tricking with his non intersecting cloverleaf and one of my own daybeans set a new record for eating apples at 46 eaten in 10 minutes. He is expected to make a full recovery and be back to work within the week. Paul Oxendines basket weave harvesting technique is truly a miracle.
As I said, day work was suspended in favor of night time duty in honor of Jesus and His excellent decision to finally kill Senator Lady Killer. It has been unseasonably cool here in North By God Carolina and the daybeans eagerly accepted nightbean duty. During the day they cooked up a storm and made all sorts of beanery dishes for the normal folks to try. Let me tell you all right here and now, Mexicans know a thing or two about cooking up a goat! Simply delicious, I was surprised. I had never really thought about eating them before last week, I think I may have a lot more eating to do now that I have tasted it. It complimented the green bean casseroles and macaroni salads the Wiseman Ladies Auxiliary provided. My great aunt Jebedizza served her famous mashed corn and squash plate and my uncle Elroy brought a fat split hog for the tub cooker. His sauce is so good it's almost a sin, good thing we pray before we eat or Jesus might get mad! The grilled corncobs and stewed greens with squirrel(don't say no until you try it!) and pinto beans and slaw were just a few of the treats we had.
After the meals we all sat around and sipped a little and picked a little on into the night. We sang songs and praised Jesus and played till dawn. It was really a fine time I have to tell you. If it takes a Liberal politician dying to have this much fun I can only pray that more drop off so we can do it again real soon.
This is in stark contrast to the weeping and mourning we all experienced when NCs favorite son, the honorable Senator Jesse Helms passed away. I really think it all comes down to how much you love Jesus and appreciate His deeds. Goodness comes in all flavors except Democrat.
Anyway, just thought I'd share the past weeks festivities. I noticed Satan deleted the invitation that I posted in the Church Fellowship section here. No matter, there are 59 other opportunities to have a get together. Pray it doesn't take too long.
If it's Al Franken then I will personally swing off the long rope into the creek in front of everybody! I promise!
God bless all yall,
M-
Honestly I wish that more of the faculty and Pastoral staff had been able to make the trip but considering the nations worst Liberal had just died and airlines were packed with grieving communists and weeping homosexuals it wasn't any wonder so few from Freehold proper showed up. I would like to extend a warm thank you to Ms Judy Shannondale of Freehold Iowa for making this old farmer blush when she hugged me right in front of the entire youth squad! I don't think my heart has beat that fast since I first converted her from Methodist to Baptist back in 1999! It was truly a pleasure seeing you again ma'am.
In celebration of Jesus excellent judgment in personally kicking Teddy into the abyss, the Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex went on a week long celebration as classes and fieldwork were suspended. (daylight field work only) There were pit barbeques, music and dancing, swimming and all manner of contests with Christian prizes given to the winners, John F. McBee being the overall top winner with 5 total trophies and jars of preserves totaling $135 not to mention a fine 300 lb Charolais calf courtesy of the 3K Farm(Jack Locklear owner). Axe throwing, log pushing, tractor tricks and smear the queer were only a few of the manly and Godly things we passed out prizes for. Jakob Tannerly set a new county record for tractor tricking with his non intersecting cloverleaf and one of my own daybeans set a new record for eating apples at 46 eaten in 10 minutes. He is expected to make a full recovery and be back to work within the week. Paul Oxendines basket weave harvesting technique is truly a miracle.
As I said, day work was suspended in favor of night time duty in honor of Jesus and His excellent decision to finally kill Senator Lady Killer. It has been unseasonably cool here in North By God Carolina and the daybeans eagerly accepted nightbean duty. During the day they cooked up a storm and made all sorts of beanery dishes for the normal folks to try. Let me tell you all right here and now, Mexicans know a thing or two about cooking up a goat! Simply delicious, I was surprised. I had never really thought about eating them before last week, I think I may have a lot more eating to do now that I have tasted it. It complimented the green bean casseroles and macaroni salads the Wiseman Ladies Auxiliary provided. My great aunt Jebedizza served her famous mashed corn and squash plate and my uncle Elroy brought a fat split hog for the tub cooker. His sauce is so good it's almost a sin, good thing we pray before we eat or Jesus might get mad! The grilled corncobs and stewed greens with squirrel(don't say no until you try it!) and pinto beans and slaw were just a few of the treats we had.
After the meals we all sat around and sipped a little and picked a little on into the night. We sang songs and praised Jesus and played till dawn. It was really a fine time I have to tell you. If it takes a Liberal politician dying to have this much fun I can only pray that more drop off so we can do it again real soon.
This is in stark contrast to the weeping and mourning we all experienced when NCs favorite son, the honorable Senator Jesse Helms passed away. I really think it all comes down to how much you love Jesus and appreciate His deeds. Goodness comes in all flavors except Democrat.
Anyway, just thought I'd share the past weeks festivities. I noticed Satan deleted the invitation that I posted in the Church Fellowship section here. No matter, there are 59 other opportunities to have a get together. Pray it doesn't take too long.
If it's Al Franken then I will personally swing off the long rope into the creek in front of everybody! I promise!
God bless all yall,
M-
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