[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

As opposed to an afterlife of either, having to consistently massage the ego of an insecure narcissistic sadist, or burning in an eternal pit of fire.

I'll take the Beer and Strippers, thank you very much.

There are no "beer and strippers" where you're headed.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

There are no "beer and strippers" where you're headed.

Your "god" does not come across as a supposedly intelligent creator with his pit of hell

An ancient and venerable sage spoke unto the Pastaists of all the divisions, unto the Noodleists, and unto the Maranarists, the Fettucinians, the Pastafarians, and all of the great Pasta-based members of the Holy and Delicious Faith, and said:
It is my contention that a loving God of any kind would not Damn someone to Hell.
Darning them to Heck would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.
Lakes of fire, boiling waters, sauces, etc, aren't a good choice.
If you want to attract "justified" persons, portray just rewards and punishments. 6 If you want to attract lunatics and sadists, portray violent punishments.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

You can find the path to the True Gospel in my signature.

I always keep an open mind Mr Freddie and enjoy new ideas, encountering them, reading about them, understanding why they're wrong. Fortunately I have signatures turned off so won't be reading your link, but since you're so enthusiastic a spruiker probably there's not much left in the book itself, whatever it is. And if I converted to your insane creed, and then dropped dead, and then went to your heaven, what would my reward be? An infinite supply of beer is not all that appealing.

1. NOTE: I AM NOT THINKING OF CONVERTING TO PASTAFARIANISM
...I AM JUST ASKING JO FREDDIE A QUESTION
...CALL IT A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT IF YOU LIKE

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

I always keep an open mind Mr Freddie and enjoy new ideas, encountering them, reading about them, understanding why they're wrong. Fortunately I have signatures turned off so won't be reading your link, but since you're so enthusiastic a spruiker probably there's not much left in the book itself, whatever it is. And if I converted to your insane creed, and then dropped dead, and then went to your heaven, what would my reward be? An infinite supply of beer is not all that appealing.

1. NOTE: I AM NOT THINKING OF CONVERTING TO PASTAFARIANISM
...I AM JUST ASKING JO FREDDIE A QUESTION
...CALL IT A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT IF YOU LIKE

May the Sauce be with you!
Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - HTML version
Loose Canon Fan Page
North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
I have been to The Volcano!

Well to understand how you would be rewarded I give you a passage from The Book of Penelope

1Now it came to pass that Penelope had a good beer buzz on…. 2She strode through the land and saw all was good; 3wheat for pasta, hops and barley for beer, beef trees for meatballs, even a cheese well or two. 4The People remained unsatisfied for T.V. STILL hadn’t been invented… 5As she strode (well wove actually; she’d had quite a few beers) she thought “it’s a good thing automobiles haven’t been invented yet. 6I’d be in BIG trouble if I were driving”.

7She decided to take a short nap under a meatball tree. 8Naps had been invented just last week and Penelope was nothing if not a trend setter. 9As she slept she dreamed that she came upon a large building 10and out of the building an endless line of cute guys 11(with the occasional cute redheaded woman, told you she was trendy!). 12Any way she watched and thought “that’s the LAST time I mix my beers”.

13She approached one of the cute guys and noticed he was wearing only a G string and some ‘pasties’. 14MMMmmm nice she thought all but the pasties. 15″It must be hard to look manly in pasties”, she said. 16″You don’t know the half of it”! the cute guy said. 17″What is this place?” cried Penelope. 18″Don’t cry” said the cute guy “for this is the stripper factory”! 19″The Stripper factory?” cried Penelope.

20″Yes our Lord FSM created it for all those who would not be big jerks and go around telling people what to believe”. 21″Well that seems decent of FSM but tell me why are there only cute guys and the occasional redheaded woman? 22I’m trendy but not everyone else is”. 23″It is because you are here. 24As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory. 25YOU and your desires dictate the out-put…. 26Why last year we had on guy who stood where you are standing 27and SHEEP (shorn of course) emerged from the factory”. 28The cute guy looked into Penelope’s eyes and said “would you like to see my etchings?”

29Here we must leave our heroine, even ancient venerated Prophets need some privacy

Your reward would be dictated by your desires.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Your reward would be dictated by your desires.

Christians don't have "desires" in the sense you suggest. However, if it's a stripper factory and I have no interest in "strippers" or similarly in the case of beer, it doesn't make people "buzz" it makes them vomit, what would the factory produce? Bibles?

..meanwhile

Back on topic this FSM must offend me right now I coundn't think of anything worse than a load of drunk men ogling grotesque floozies
If I joined your religion I'd wind up in HELL. FOREVER.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

a load of drunk men ogling grotesque floozies

You have a very offensive sexist outlook!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

You have a very offensive sexist outlook!

well grotesque men ogling drunk floozies would be equally offensive, & probably equivalent in other respects too.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

well grotesque men ogling drunk floozies would be equally offensive, & probably equivalent in other respects too.

Yet again with the sexism. Also the assumption that one could not partake in moderation revivals your self control issues. Just because you can not consume without getting inebriated you assume that everyone else has the same failing.
Is your graving for alcohol so strong that you can not comprehend the notion that not everyone's desire will be for an intoxication beverage.

24As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory. 25YOU and your desires dictate the out-put….

I think you attitude speaks volumes about the kind of desires you are struggling so hard to suppress.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

From Penelope 3:5 strode (well wove actually; she’d had quite a few beers)

Nothing exceeds like excess. And from that tart's behaviour it's clear she's foozled up to the eyeballs.

The non-Christian cannot possibly understand that, dead to self as we are Christians have no desires of the flesh to supress. I understand that "the flesh" includes such appetites as intoxication, self poisoning with toadstools, hanging out under streetlamps at night wearing yellow lycra, indeed the whole gamut of activities advertised in any "entertainment" supplement or paraded shamelesslessly you only have to look at them to know what's on their mind honestly can't they think of anything else it's quite early and you've made me feel sick I'll go outside for a while I think now to calm down

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

I'll go outside for a while I think now to calm down

Don't forget your yellow lycra!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Don't forget your yellow lycra!

Thank you for your concern. I am sure that everyone in the Freddie household prances around in spandex zentai suits and I have not replied to you earlier due to not having checked out such products since the 90's and DuPont having sold out to the Koch brothers (not to mention all that awkwardness last year) as they advised when I contacted them yesterday. Please do not interpret this as an apology.

However I am sure that your polymerised clothing is not 100% almost certainly it will be blended with nylon or cotton, possibly (due to the inclemency of the weather) even wool. And there have been some especially lurid designs around using lycra & linen blended with latex appliqué honestly I don't know what comes over people you probably wake up with your garment shredded, a void where time was wondering what continent you're on and whether those piles of lace and velvet contain bodies.

Leviticus 19
19b thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.
KJV . context

God's standard is clear. Pure nylon garments, 100% wool or cotton, leather, mink and sable are all OK (although sable is rather difficult to spin). Woolblend, poly/cotton, acrylic/elastane and similar mixed fibre abominations are not. Since lycra is a co-polymer you will need to seek instruction from Pastor Ezekiel about that particular product after you accept Jesus (perhaps when you're setting up the tithing plan?) but I doubt that you can purchase any garments without other fibres blended so it's a moot point isn't it.

Zephaniah 1
7 Hold thy peace at the presence of the Lord GOD: for the day of the LORD is at hand: for the LORD hath prepared a sacrifice, he hath bid his guests.
8 And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD'S sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel.
9a In the same day also will I punish all those that leap on the threshold
KJV

There are fabrics available that are suitable for Christian apparel, when making costumes for my friends I use satin (which is 100% silk) and nylon (which is 100% nylon) here are a couple of samples:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a nice crushed satin . . . . . . . . or . . . . . this nylon-on-nylon interlock appliqué . . . . . . . . . . satin/distressed satin combinations always look smart


Is there a Mrs Freddie? Perhaps you could show her those suggestions and she will see that it is possible to dress appropriately after all. Even if you don't. But as I head into town this morning I can't stop thinking about your zentai suits which on all levels are absolutely offensive even if you don't wear tham.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

There are fabrics available that are suitable for Christian apparel, when making costumes for my friends I use satin (which is 100% silk) and nylon (which is 100% nylon) here are a couple of samples:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a nice crushed satin . . . . . . . . or . . . . . this nylon-on-nylon interlock appliqué . . . . . . . . . . satin/distressed satin combinations always look smart

So do you wear a lot of fabrics like the ones on these examples? You must have some very colourful outfits.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

So do you wear a lot of fabrics like the ones on these examples? You must have some very colourful outfits.

We make costumes for witmessing at art festivals which are stuffed full of heathens. Some of my friends are nurses who are also artistic and I produce skirts for them, in 2 lengths. The ankle length red and green satin (reversible) pattern is quite good and available from stock. At present they are complaining that the other length is too long so I am doing some alterations. The waistband is a quick release design for rapid costume change. The spotted satin (green) is combined with black & blue stripes as a lining and is quite effective, or it may be worn the other way around. The Stripes are cut on a bias, in 2 different directions: ideal for stage or trapeze. No good for unicycle or stilts. There is also some blue with silver zigzags around somewhere.

I do not use shatnez. Some fabric has holographic sequins which, not being fibres, cannot be mixed fibres. These fabrics are either 100% polyester, 100% nylon or a type of spun vinyl.

Although I find these events offensive I am strengthened by Jesus' words:

John 4:35 Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest. KJV

and am happy to go where He leads. Soon He will be returning. Wouldn't you like to meet Him in the sky with joy?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Interesting, you said...

God's standard is clear. Pure nylon garments, 100% wool or cotton, leather, mink and sable are all OK

But you have just said you make garments that are not 100% pure, the dye used to colour the silk for example, is not made from silk is it? Once the silk takes on the colour of the dye it can not be said to be 100% pure as it now has other substances soaked into its very fabric.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Interesting, you said...

God's standard is clear. Pure nylon garments, 100% wool or cotton, leather, mink and sable are all OK

But you have just said you make garments that are not 100% pure, the dye used to colour the silk for example, is not made from silk is it? Once the silk takes on the colour of the dye it can not be said to be 100% pure as it now has other substances soaked into its very fabric.

DEUTERONOMY 22
11 Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together.
12 Thou shalt make thee fringes upon the four quarters of thy vesture, wherewith thou coverest thyself.
KJV

The dye is not a fibre. Silk, being produced by an animal, is one type of thread such as may not be combined with another type. Shellfish derived pigments are also produced by animals and are the same type of material although when presented as yarn it is not of the same type as any other yarn. Similarly in the case of linen. It is a plant produced type of material as is a vegetable derived dyestuff; both are produced by plants although when presented as yarn it is not of the same type as any other yarn.

I hope you can follow this? Insufficient Bible Study tends to distort the thought prosesses.