[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: I can't believe...

Friend,

Would JESUS go into someone else's Church and hurl insults at them? Nooooooo.

Would JESUS use the digusting foul language and call us names like you have? Noooooo.

You cannot call yourself a Christian, and therefore I Rebuke YOU in the name of JESUS!! Get thee BEHIND me Demon! Get the HENCE!!!!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: I can't believe...

God doesn't preach hate.

I'm a heathen and even I know better than that. Have you actually READ the bible, or do you first take LSD and then read it?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: I can't believe...

Brother, Jesus has put it on my heart to minister to you. I am here to guide you to True Salvation(r) -- I urge you to consider the offer deeply, as it is a limited time and if you don't accept it now, you will burn in Hell forever, tortured by Satan infesting your colon and molesting you nonstop for the rest of eternity, while you beg for your loved ones not to follow in your footsteps lest they fall into the same trap (which they will).

Satan has obviously led you astray. God wants nothing more but to see you in His flock, but so far you have done nothing but follow the Devil and his lies. The Lord God is a jealous God:

14For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God

The Lord wants the praise that is due Him for creating us, temporarily dying for us and for not killing us yet. You choose to defecate in the poor Baby Jesus' mouth by ignoring His Love. If you continue in your evil ways, the Lord God will strike you down and send you to eternal torture . Brother, I advise you to immediately purchase yourself a King James Version Bible (1611 edition, of course -- the way today as it was when God dictated it in English), speak with a pastor here at Landover and immediately begin a lavish tithing program to hope to allay our Jealous God's Holy and Righteous Wrath.
I pray for you -- that you will accept this message of Love. If you don't, I hope God sends you to the lowest level of Hell for the devil to rape you with his glass-shard encrusted tallywhacker.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: I can't believe...

I don't need scripture, and I don't need to prove anything to you. Forgiveness is between you and God.

You don't need Scripture? All scripture is given by inspiration of God (II Tim. 3:16)*. Are you telling us that you know better than God?

Personally, I hope he doesn't forgive you, and you burn in hell for.... well.... eternity.

I offered to help you unlearn this hate and filth, that did not come from God. You don't want help. Fine. Anyone else?

You hope we burn in hell, and yet you presume to help us unlearn hate? Oh, nice. Open your Bible to Matthew 7:1-5:

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam [is] in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

*There's a 3:16 for those hippy-dippy liberal "Christians" who think that the Bible consists solely of John 3:16.

[Lady Sorrow]

Re: I can't believe...

I don't know who SFT thinks he is, but what he truly is is a homer who makes Jesus weep every time he touches another man's tallywhacker. Shame on him for posting on this Godly forum with his homer-seed defiled hands!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I can't believe...

Are you kidding me? The term is "Judea-Christian." Meaning we all worship the same God, you ignorant fools.

The term is "Christian." Meaning we worship Christ. One of the terms commonly used for yids is "Christ-killers." Meaning they killed Christ. Do you begin to see the distinction here?

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: I can't believe...

Indeed brother, and they will be Christ-killers forever.
No matter how many generations have passed since then, they're all to blame:

And the governor said, Why, what evil hath he done? But they cried out the more, saying, Let him be crucified.
When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it. Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.
Then released he Barabbas unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.
Matthew 27:23-26

Those damned joos!
So you see, we can blame the joos of today for what their ancestors did, you false teacher. (You who dare call yourself a Shephard.)
We should not be friends with those who had part in temporarily killing Jesus.

[lilith]

Re: I can't believe...

I don't need scripture, and I don't need to prove anything to you. Forgiveness is between you and God. Personally, I hope he doesn't forgive you, and you burn in hell for.... well.... eternity.

I offered to help you unlearn this hate and filth, that did not come from God. You don't want help. Fine. Anyone else?

Is there a chance you mean Shepherd?

And is "unlearn" really a word in American?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: I can't believe...

Is there a chance you mean Shepherd?

Satan will make you both into shepherd's pie unless you repent.

And is "unlearn" really a word in American?

Yes, as in "Lilith needs to unlearn her blasphemous ways and start tithing to LBC." By the way, I looked it up in an online British dictionary and found it there, too.

[SUV]

Re: I can't believe...

JESUS what an Ass!!!

(I get to say that - because "Ass" is in the Bible. Is "hole" in the Bible, though? I better watch out, here....)

And what a truly Horrible Homer! Please do put down that poor hamster, pick up a dictionary, and learn to spell your own darn Name.

PS MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

SUV

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I can't believe...

Yes, as in "Lilith needs to unlearn her blasphemous ways and start tithing to LBC." By the way, I looked it up in an online British dictionary and found it there, too.

I think "unlearn" has a lovely ring to it, actually. Maybe the news should carry daily updates on things it would be good to unlearn.

JESUS what an Ass!!!

(I get to say that - because "Ass" is in the Bible. Is "hole" in the Bible, though? I better watch out, here....)

Indeed it is, numerous times:
Exodus 39:23 And there was an hole in the midst of the robe, as the hole of an habergeon, with a band round about the hole, that it should not rend.
I don't know if I'd describe this "Shepard" fellow as resembling the hole of a habergeon, so maybe this quote's more suitable:
Song of Solomon 5:4 My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.

[lilith]

Re: I can't believe...

Satan will make you both into shepherd's pie unless you repent.

Yes, as in "Lilith needs to unlearn her blasphemous ways and start tithing to LBC." By the way, I looked it up in an online British dictionary and found it there, too.

Really? I always thought it was just unlearned...well,you do indeed learn something every day.


"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door & my bowels were moved for him"?!!

Please tell me this is a mistranslation.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: I can't believe...

It is accurate! NOW do you want to embrace Christianity?

[Sister Rebecca]

Re: I can't believe...

I fear Lilith will never embrace Christianity. Alas, even the false Christians are beyond her.

[lilith]

Re: I can't believe...

It is accurate! NOW do you want to embrace Christianity?

What,with biblical verses like that?

NO chance.