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  • Betty Lambskin
    Apple Sucker
    Forum Member
    • Jun 2007
    • 144
    #1

    Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

    Since you here at LBC seem to gobble up every fetid morsel and bloated afterthought burped by God while recovering from a wild night squishing heathen babies (Praise), while categorically denying heterosexual Christian married couples the modern conveniences of oral pleasure (preserved in SoS) I suggest we all follow the following command of God, lest we be browned rotisserie-style in the Boston Market of Hell.

    Genesis 6:14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood;

    I suggest we each begin a piece in our backyards; First: does anyhone know where we can get gopher wood?
    Tags: the rapture is here
    • Talitha
      Deaconess
      Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
      True Christian™
      • Feb 2026
      • 15118
      #2
      Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

      Freehold Lumber Yard has a ready supply for just such a purpose.
      You can pay by using the Paypal Button at the bottom of the page.

      Sister Talitha

      Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


      HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
      being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78555
          #3
          Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

          Do you truly imagine that God instructed EVERY HUMAN BEING to build an ark EVERY DAY FOREVER?

          I guess you are really showing your colors now. Do you sass back to your husband like that, or are you actually a bulldyke feminazi? Because you're sure starting to sound like one....
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Betty Lambskin
              Apple Sucker
              Forum Member
              • Jun 2007
              • 144
              #4
              Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

              Why should we not, Brother Ezekiel, be building arks every day forever? And please do not type in CAPS at your sister in Christ, but rather nudge me "gently" with your staff as if I was a lamb in your frock. Flock.

              Or wait, I suppose you don't believe in Jesus of Nazareth either? He's just an apparition of that Satanic Diatribe known as the New Testament.

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78555
                  #5
                  Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                  Originally posted by Bloody Lambskin View Post
                  Why should we not, Brother Ezekiel, be building arks every day forever? And please do not type in CAPS at your sister in Christ, but rather nudge me "gently" with your staff as if I was a lamb in your frock. Flock.

                  Or wait, I suppose you don't believe in Jesus of Nazareth either? He's just an apparition of that Satanic Diatribe known as the New Testament.
                  Genesis 6:13 And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.
                  6:14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

                  I'm wondering how you can twist the above scriptures into the crazy notion that God wants us all to build an ark every day. But then you do seem to keep yourself busy twisting other verses, so maybe this is your hobby or something. If you were an actual Christian, you'd be in the kitchen baking pies right now.

                  I'm guessing from your behavior here that either you are bleeding from your cooter or you are a false Christian come to infiltrate our ranks. Either way, you should be locked in the shed until Jesus bitchslaps you back to your senses.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • Betty Lambskin
                      Apple Sucker
                      Forum Member
                      • Jun 2007
                      • 144
                      #6
                      Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                      Oh malalatoem, grownanapata reeknee waholalalafee Toobutuhnuttah.

                      That's tongues to you, Pastor.

                        Comment

                        • Rachael Van Helsing
                          HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 5131
                          #7
                          Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                          Originally posted by Bloody Lambskin View Post
                          Since you here at LBC seem to gobble up every fetid morsel and bloated afterthought burped by God while recovering from a wild night squishing heathen babies (Praise), while categorically denying heterosexual Christian married couples the modern conveniences of oral pleasure (preserved in SoS) I suggest we all follow the following command of God, lest we be browned rotisserie-style in the Boston Market of Hell.

                          Genesis 6:14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood;

                          I suggest we each begin a piece in our backyards; First: does anyhone know where we can get gopher wood?
                          No offense intended, ma'am, but it appears as though while they were handing out common sense, you were ordering a milkshake.
                          sigpic
                          Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                            Comment

                            • Betty Lambskin
                              Apple Sucker
                              Forum Member
                              • Jun 2007
                              • 144
                              #8
                              Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                              As the saying goes, Not smart, just saved!

                              I don't remember seeing "use common sense" on the list of Moses's commandments. Do you?

                                Comment

                                • Rachael Van Helsing
                                  HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 5131
                                  #9
                                  Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                                  Originally posted by Betty Lambskin View Post
                                  As the saying goes, Not smart, just saved!

                                  I don't remember seeing "use common sense" on the list of Moses's commandments. Do you?
                                  One of the many reasons why I'm proud to NOT be a christian.
                                  Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 06-16-2007, 07:59 AM.
                                  sigpic
                                  Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                                    Comment

                                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                       
                                      • Sep 2006
                                      • 78555
                                      #10
                                      Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                                      Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                                      One of the many reasons why I'm proud to NOT be a christian.
                                      You think you're so smart, don't you harlot. You think you're so clever for hating Men because God made us more superior than you. Well I've got news for you; all the whiney tantrums in the world won't get you one iota closer to Heaven. Jesus is looking for obedient women, not smart-mouth sassy ones.
                                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                        Comment

                                        • GothicDragon
                                          Man hating Thespian Unsaved Trash
                                          Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
                                          • May 2007
                                          • 64
                                          #11
                                          Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                                          Oooooo......this is just getting good, an argument between 2 "true christians".

                                          WAIT....this is not right.........


                                          ohh.....thats what I forgot....just let me go and get some popcorn and some soda...I'll be right back...

                                            Comment

                                            • Pastor Ezekiel
                                              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                               
                                              • Sep 2006
                                              • 78555
                                              #12
                                              Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                                              Originally posted by GothicDragon View Post
                                              Oooooo......this is just getting good, an argument between 2 "true christians".

                                              WAIT....this is not right.........


                                              ohh.....thats what I forgot....just let me go and get some popcorn and some soda...I'll be right back...
                                              Wrong again, homer. We True Christians™ do not argue. We explain God's divine plan. You unsaved scum can choose to accept or reject Christ's love.

                                              Put down your popcorn, cut out the smartmouth defiance, and get on your knees and beg Jesus to accept you now.
                                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                Comment

                                                • GothicDragon
                                                  Man hating Thespian Unsaved Trash
                                                  Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
                                                  • May 2007
                                                  • 64
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                                                  I'm back!!, thanks for waiting for me

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Rachael Van Helsing
                                                      HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                      • 5131
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                                                      Originally posted by GothicDragon View Post
                                                      Oooooo......this is just getting good, an argument between 2 "true christians".

                                                      WAIT....this is not right.........


                                                      ohh.....thats what I forgot....just let me go and get some popcorn and some soda...I'll be right back...
                                                      Did you just call me a True Christian???
                                                      I'll thank you NOT to associate me with these bibble (spelling intentional)-thumping nutters!
                                                      sigpic
                                                      Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Betty Lambskin
                                                          Apple Sucker
                                                          Forum Member
                                                          • Jun 2007
                                                          • 144
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Build Arks Now! As He Commandeth!

                                                          Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                                                          Did you just call me a True Christian???
                                                          I'll thank you NOT to associate me with these bibble (spelling intentional)-thumping nutters!
                                                          Face it sister, while you've been demeaning God's people, casting evil spells with your dollar store wand, eating babies and fornicating in the road, God's word has been slowly sinking in.

                                                          Can I get an AMEN for LBC! We gotta live one here!

                                                            Comment

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