Rolly Pollys HELP!

[Glendora Christianson]

Our semi-custom home with 3 car garage (from the low $500,000's) is being invaded by Rolly Pollys. I wonder if it could be the work of the Devil or perhaps a person of color who practices some type of voodoo or Cathoholic witchcraft. I am especially concerned about my 64 ounce Stainmaster carpeting . . . I sure hope the Rolly Pollys don't use the bathroom on my pristine floors. I'm in a panic and don't know what to do!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

Dear sweet Jesus, please protect our Godly sister's home in this time of terrible infestation! In your name we pray that she be rid of this horrible curse! Amen!

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

Let's see here... Evil Bugs... In Christian Garage... Evil... Evil... Ah! Use fire! (My method is only for those with a death wish.)

1. Get Aerosol Cans.
2. Get Matches.
3. Light 1 Match.
4. Place match in front of aerosol can.
5. Spray can.
6. ???
7. Profit.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

Those things can be nasty! One of the golliwoggs we brought in from Darkest Africa to clean the basement kept a few of them in a jar as pets—Gary and I were fine with this until Gary walked into the servants quarters one day and found this! We were terrified, both for our own safety and that of our recently purchased Cuban Ivory-Billed Woodpecker chicks, so we called pest control and they took care of the beasts. As for the golliwogg, he was declared an enemy combatant for introducing a dangerous invasive species into the USA, and is currently having a much more personal experience with Cuban wildlife... if you catch my drift.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

Those things can be nasty! One of the golliwoggs we brought in from Darkest Africa to clean the basement kept a few of them in a jar as pets...

I am afraid to ask if colored folks eat these things for breakfast. I wonder if my gardener, Alberto Gonzales has anything to do with the infestation. I suppose I might call the INS (just before payday). And that bug is a sexual predator! Shame on it for flashing its naughty whatever at us!

Picture edited for spiritual purity.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

And that bug is a sexual predator! Shame on it for flashing its naughty whatever at us!

Picture edited for spiritual purity.

Why were you looking?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

What is that thing? --- it's horrible looking ---

Has it taken Jesus as its saviour?

[Tha Duckman]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

I suppose I might call the INS (just before payday).

You'll fire him just before pay day, so as to get work from him and save money? Are you sure you're not Jewish?

[Kazoo]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

You'll fire him just before pay day, so as to get work from him and save money? Are you sure you're not Jewish?

Unsaved heathen! How dare you accuse Mother Glendora of being a filthy Joo! You should know that she is a Godly woman of Christ!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

Our semi-custom home with 3 car garage (from the low $500,000's) is being invaded by Rolly Pollys. I wonder if it could be the work of the Devil or perhaps a person of color who practices some type of voodoo or Cathoholic witchcraft. I am especially concerned about my 64 ounce Stainmaster carpeting . . . I sure hope the Rolly Pollys don't use the bathroom on my pristine floors. I'm in a panic and don't know what to do!

My word, that thing is nasty. I know it's a stupid question, but you haven't had any Demoncratic voters in your house recently, have you? It'd explain a lot.

[SUV]

Re: Rolly Pollys HELP!

Why, have our pesky (but God-given!) eyelash mites somehow gone for Glory and mutated? I do see the resemblance!