BRIT TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS BICYCLE!!

[Talitha]

I have always known that the British in Englandistan were strange but THIS Beggars belief.

Not only do Cyclists get in the way when I'm being driven down to the Nail Parlor in my Limo but they look so darn stupid with their silly hats and suits.

They must really hate Jesus.

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: BRIT TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS BICYCLE!!

It seems that those people in Old Europe will do just about anything to get their jollies, as long as it isn't the Godly union of a man and his silent, submissive wife. Then again, I've always thought that people who ride bicycles, when they could be driving Godly Hummers, are up to no good.

[Deaner]

Re: BRIT TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS BICYCLE!!

That really is a weird story. The only connection I can think of is that the bicycle had better hygiene than those toothless coal matrons that the Brits call wives. Probably better company too.

[Talitha]

Re: BRIT TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS BICYCLE!!

Even their so-called "Army" relies on pedal power. No wonder we are kicking them out of Iraqistan.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: BRIT TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS BICYCLE!!

And he did this behind closed, locked doors.

And he's free on parole?


Now, whenever a Limey approaches her or his bike, she/he'd better
be careful; one can't know if the bike is "clean".

I would suggest that all Brits approach velocipedes with caution,
taking great care before mounting to first sniff the seat.



PP

[The Widow Anna]

Re: BRIT TRIES TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS BICYCLE!!

Being an uneducated woman, especially in the realms of such blasphemous behaviour, I (thankfully) cannot even begin to comprehend how such an act occurred. Correct me if I'm wrong, but my own bicycle has no...shall we say 'crevices' suited to such heinous behaviours.

I think I need to have a cup of tea now. I'm feeling rather faint.