Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Friends,

Something's been troubling me for a while now -- when we go to Heaven, can we bring our guns?

I've been under the impression that we'd be Raptured in our birthday suits -- hence, no guns.

Will we be issued new guns upon arrival? If so, against whom may we use them, given that Heaven is a pretty exclusive place and not full of targets like Earth?

Your guidance appreciated!

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Juliette]

Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

Dear Friends,

Something's been troubling me for a while now -- when we go to Heaven, can we bring our guns?

I've been under the impression that we'd be Raptured in our birthday suits -- hence, no guns.

Will we be issued new guns upon arrival? If so, against whom may we use them, given that Heaven is a pretty exclusive place and not full of targets like Earth?

Your guidance appreciated!

Yours in Him,
BAB

C'mon BAB,

With the good guys in heaven and the bad guys in hell. What do yo need guns for?

Face it. Everybody will be dead over there.

Yours in him,

J.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

Maybe we'll be given long range rifles and we can shoot across the chasm at the unsaved folks in Hell, adding to their misery.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Juliette]

Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

Maybe we'll be given long range rifles and we can shoot across the chasm at the unsaved folks in Hell, adding to their misery.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Good thinking Pastor.

I must have overlooked that point of view.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

That seems reasonable. While the question of we women having souls is still up in the air, I can imagine the good Lord would want to provide activities for the menfolk as they will have an eternity of time to fill, so it just makes sense that He would have forests up in Heaven stocked with endless supplies of deer, elk, bears, tigers and other game for the men to hunt. Why, even if we do have souls, I'm sure God would provide these activities so the men could get away from our constant chattering!

[Jdizzle12321]

Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

That seems reasonable. While the question of we women having souls is still up in the air, I can imagine the good Lord would want to provide activities for the menfolk as they will have an eternity of time to fill, so it just makes sense that He would have forests up in Heaven stocked with endless supplies of deer, elk, bears, tigers and other game for the men to hunt. Why, even if we do have souls, I'm sure God would provide these activities so the men could get away from our constant chattering!

Man you ugly ho.

imma take my guns to heaven and shoot all joo baptist so i can have somtin to eat.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

Man you ugly ho.

imma take my guns to heaven and shoot all joo baptist so i can have somtin to eat.

You are making so many problematic assumptions there. Not just the fact that you won't be in Heaven, and the fact that food there is plentiful and bounteous, but also the very notion of a "joo baptist" is frankly absurd. It's like a patriotic liberal or an attractive Frenchwoman. If such a chimera did even exist, I doubt it'd be very good to eat, either.

[JennyD]

Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

Brother BAB, you're pulling our legs!

You're so silly. Guns in Heaven! As though we would be defending the Gates against Hell's flaming zombie hordes!

You know as well as I that the only activities the Saved™ will engage in are the praising and servicing of our Lord without ceasing, for all eternity.

(Now, of course we're not sure if women get to go to Heaven or not . . . depends on whether we have souls. But I'm believing we do, as otherwise how could we be "saved in childbearing"?)

I look forward to servicing and praising Jesus every day, without ceasing, in Heaven!

(I am, of course, a card-carrying member of the NRA while on Earth!)