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  • Born Again Bob
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2318

    #1

    Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

    Dear Friends,

    Something's been troubling me for a while now -- when we go to Heaven, can we bring our guns?

    I've been under the impression that we'd be Raptured in our birthday suits -- hence, no guns.

    Will we be issued new guns upon arrival? If so, against whom may we use them, given that Heaven is a pretty exclusive place and not full of targets like Earth?

    Your guidance appreciated!

    Yours in Him,
    BAB
  • Juliette
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Jan 2008
    • 705

    #2
    Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

    Originally posted by Born Again Bob View Post
    Dear Friends,

    Something's been troubling me for a while now -- when we go to Heaven, can we bring our guns?

    I've been under the impression that we'd be Raptured in our birthday suits -- hence, no guns.

    Will we be issued new guns upon arrival? If so, against whom may we use them, given that Heaven is a pretty exclusive place and not full of targets like Earth?

    Your guidance appreciated!

    Yours in Him,
    BAB
    C'mon BAB,

    With the good guys in heaven and the bad guys in hell. What do yo need guns for?

    Face it. Everybody will be dead over there.

    Yours in him,

    J.


    Comment

    • Pastor Billy-Reuben
      Senior Pastor
      VP of Evangelical Outreach
      On FIRE for Jesus
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 5812

      #3
      Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

      Maybe we'll be given long range rifles and we can shoot across the chasm at the unsaved folks in Hell, adding to their misery.

      Pastor Billy-Reuben
      Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

      ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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      Comment

      • Juliette
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Jan 2008
        • 705

        #4
        Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

        Originally posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
        Maybe we'll be given long range rifles and we can shoot across the chasm at the unsaved folks in Hell, adding to their misery.

        Pastor Billy-Reuben
        Good thinking Pastor.

        I must have overlooked that point of view.


        Comment

        • Mrs. Mary Whitford
          Ladies of Landover Senior VP
          One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
          Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
          True Christian™
          • Dec 2006
          • 12414

          #5
          Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

          That seems reasonable. While the question of we women having souls is still up in the air, I can imagine the good Lord would want to provide activities for the menfolk as they will have an eternity of time to fill, so it just makes sense that He would have forests up in Heaven stocked with endless supplies of deer, elk, bears, tigers and other game for the men to hunt. Why, even if we do have souls, I'm sure God would provide these activities so the men could get away from our constant chattering!
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          • Jdizzle12321
            Unsaved trash
            Under Investigation
            • Feb 2008
            • 1

            #6
            Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

            Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
            That seems reasonable. While the question of we women having souls is still up in the air, I can imagine the good Lord would want to provide activities for the menfolk as they will have an eternity of time to fill, so it just makes sense that He would have forests up in Heaven stocked with endless supplies of deer, elk, bears, tigers and other game for the men to hunt. Why, even if we do have souls, I'm sure God would provide these activities so the men could get away from our constant chattering!
            Man you ugly ho.

            imma take my guns to heaven and shoot all joo baptist so i can have somtin to eat.

            Comment

            • Brother Temperance
              Senior Usher
              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
              A very nice young man
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 15621

              #7
              Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

              Originally posted by Jdizzle12321 View Post
              Man you ugly ho.

              imma take my guns to heaven and shoot all joo baptist so i can have somtin to eat.
              You are making so many problematic assumptions there. Not just the fact that you won't be in Heaven, and the fact that food there is plentiful and bounteous, but also the very notion of a "joo baptist" is frankly absurd. It's like a patriotic liberal or an attractive Frenchwoman. If such a chimera did even exist, I doubt it'd be very good to eat, either.
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • JennyD
                Honorary True Christian™
                Sweet Placid Sister
                Forum Member
                • Dec 2007
                • 9567

                #8
                Re: Will We Have Guns in Heaven?

                Brother BAB, you're pulling our legs!

                You're so silly. Guns in Heaven! As though we would be defending the Gates against Hell's flaming zombie hordes!

                You know as well as I that the only activities the Saved™ will engage in are the praising and servicing of our Lord without ceasing, for all eternity.

                (Now, of course we're not sure if women get to go to Heaven or not . . . depends on whether we have souls. But I'm believing we do, as otherwise how could we be "saved in childbearing"?)

                I look forward to servicing and praising Jesus every day, without ceasing, in Heaven!

                (I am, of course, a card-carrying member of the NRA while on Earth!)
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