I'ma Need Some Heowp

[Five Year Old Girl]

The liddow boy that lives down thuh street askeded me ta' come play wif' him and his other friendzez. He said they're gonna play a game, an I said that sounds fun. Plus I'm real hungry an' maybe his mommy will make us a sand witch.

But I saw another thread here about how thuh game makes you the Devw or sumthin. I don't wanna be no Devow; I juss' wanna play a game an' eat a sand witch.

What do I do?

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

Girlie, all I can do right now is to give you an advice: don’t lick it if it’s not a lollipop or ice cream, mkay?

[Five Year Old Girl]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

Okay, Mr. Holy-guy,

But Bobby says it's not a bad Game after awe. He says they done a Kwistian thing an' like stead of Satan, we'll be playin' Kwistians in a bad like temptation thingy, cause Bobby says; Frodo was like Jeevus or sumthin'.

He says I can be uh elf!

An' he says, they're like angows.

I'ma play uh Angow!

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

...Bobby says; Frodo was like Jeevus or sumthin'...

Oh no… Frodo is not like for real - like Jesus IS; nobody is like Him, you know? I’m afraid Bobby is reading evil books. Stay away from him.

I pray that your parents are giving you proper directions, so you'll be able to withstand temptations and become a True Christian and strong Republican some day.

[Five Year Old Girl]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

My Mawmy and Daddy sent me away on accounta liddow Billy. He's a Morming.

Does this mean I can't cast spellzez?

I was gonna get all zappy on th orcsez an' make liddow Billy cry on accounta he's a Morming, an' then maybe Mawmy will love me again.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

My Mawmy and Daddy sent me away on accounta liddow Billy. He's a Morming.

Does this mean I can't cast spellzez?

I was gonna get all zappy on th orcsez an' make liddow Billy cry on accounta he's a Morming, an' then maybe Mawmy will love me again.

JUDGES 4
1 And the children of Israel againe did euil in the sight of the Lord, when Ehud was dead.
2 And the Lord sold them into the hande of Iabin king of Canaan: that reigned in Hazor, the captaine of whose host was Sisera, which dwelt in Harosheth of the Gentiles.
3 And the children of Israel cried vnto the Lord: for he had nine hundred charets of yron: and twentie yeres hee mightily oppressed the children of Israel.
4 And Deborah a prophetesse, the wife of Lapidoth, shee iudged Israel at that time.
5 And shee dwelt vnder the palme tree of Deborah, betweene Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came vp to her for iudgement.
6 And shee sent and called Barak the sonne of Abinoam, out of Kedesh-Naphtali, and said vnto him, Hath not the Lord God of Israel commaunded, saying, Goe, and drawe toward mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali, and of the children of Zebulun?
7 And I wil draw vnto thee to the riuer Kishon, Sisera the captaine of Iabins army, with his charets, and his multitude, and I will deliuer him into thine hand.
©1611

• Hobbits were invented by an Englishman.

• Judges were invented by God.

Praise God!

LUKE 12
29 And seeke not yee what yee shall eate, or what ye shall drinke, neither be ye of doubtfull minde.
30 For all these things doe the nations of the world seeke after: and your father knoweth that yee haue neede of these things.
31 But rather seeke yee the kingdome of God, and all these things shall be added vnto you.
32 Feare not, litle flocke, for it is your fathers good pleasure to giue you the kingdome.
©1611

[Kristin Marlow]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

My Mawmy and Daddy sent me away on accounta liddow Billy. He's a Morming.

Does this mean I can't cast spellzez?

I was gonna get all zappy on th orcsez an' make liddow Billy cry on accounta he's a Morming, an' then maybe Mawmy will love me again.

Oh dear! You should never, EVER cast spells or use magic! God frowns on such activities!

Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Deuteronomy 18:10-12
10 There shall not be found among you [any one] that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, [or] that useth divination, [or] an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,
11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.
12 For all that do these things [are] an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee.

Leviticus 19:31 Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I [am] the LORD your God.

Leviticus 20:6 And the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people.

Leviticus 20:27 A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood [shall be] upon them.


This little mormon Billy will have to answer to Jesus for his vile choices in mormonism (a.k.a.: devil-worship).
You should pray to Jesus for forgiveness, and for your mommy and daddy to forgive you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

Somebody needs a spanking!

[Five Year Old Girl]

Re: I'ma Need Some Heowp

Okay, so I tells Bobby I'm not gonna play wizardses on accounta Jeevus, an' he says maybe I can juss play a Palapadin on accounta they're all good guys an' stuff.

Maybe that'd be awright?

Maybe?