[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Did you meet any strange or memorable individuals while you were a Satanist?

All satanists are strange and Goths are far to common to be memorable. Really, there's nobody from being a satanist that I want to remember.

But let me think....well, there was this one crack dealer that we cursed for passing out bad junk....he was a pretty cool guy. That is, until all his hair fell out and he died in a gutter naked and bald.

Oh, that actually reminds me of somebody else I met (though if I tell you why that reminds me, some very bad people might come looking for me). There was one fellow I met, he was one grizzly old bastard. He had this really gross stringy white hair and looked like he was old enough to have had a first hand account of the Salem witch trials (probably did too). Didn't say much, but he did speak to me once and what he said sort of stuck with me.

See, we were sitting at a table in a Denny's one night after one of our "gatherings" and he turned to me looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Get your damn elbows off the table." Scared the hell out of me.

[Seeker]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

See, we were sitting at a table in a Denny's one night after one of our "gatherings" and he turned to me looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Get your damn elbows off the table." Scared the hell out of me.

Satanist eat at Denny's? Why they don't even serve booz there. But I guess it could be good greasy eating after a night of dope.

Guess that is why they shut them down here.

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Satanist eat at Denny's?

Not as a rule of thumb but like you said when the munchies roll around...well, you know the rest.

Guess that is why they shut them down here.

Good on them!

Every time I went there I had a homer/goth/whore as a waiter/waitress.

After midnight, nothing good eats at Denny's

[Seeker]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Not as a rule of thumb but like you said when the munchies roll around...well, you know the rest.

Yes and I forgot to tip.

Good on them!

Every time I went there I had a homer/goth/whore as a waiter/waitress.

After midnight, nothing good eats at Denny's

Well they all just took over at Country Kitchen.

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Well they all just took over at Country Kitchen.

Well that's not too bad, the only people I've ever known to eat there are those that should have been turned into soylent green decades ago. Though I will admit that the food isn't bad.

[Seeker]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Well that's not too bad, the only people I've ever known to eat there are those that should have been turned into soylent green decades ago. Though I will admit that the food isn't bad.

Heh, are you trying to say that the food is not worthy for even a satanist?

[revrggreen]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

When you were a Satanist, how many times were you sodomized by Marilyn Manson? Also, were an animals involved. If so, which kind? Cats? Dogs? Cows? Goats?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

I have a question for you Brother.

Can you confirm for us that mary worshipers are directly in league with your ex-master satan, and that the roman pope is his willing thrall, carrying out his diabolical plans all over the world in an attempt to crush True Christianity™?

[revrggreen]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

I have a question for you Brother.
Can you confirm for us that mary worshipers are directly in league with your ex-master satan, and that the roman pope is his willing thrall, carrying out his diabolical plans all over the world in an attempt to crush True Christianity™?

What I would like to know is how these Organizations work together. Who is pulling the strings? The Pope or Mr Manson? Or are my theories about Steven Hawking being the leader of this war against God founded?

Also, Is the Church of Satan at the head of the Catholic Church, or the other way around? And what about these rumors we keep hearing about plans to build a massive robot army somewhere in the desert, programmed by Goths and Satanists, to attack Churches and kill Christians?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

That reminds me, now I need to find good Christian music to listen to...

Here you go, friend.

[Hitoshi]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

how am I get invite to satanic orgy?

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Heh, are you trying to say that the food is not worthy for even a satanist?

Satanists really aren't picky when it comes to food but I can't imagine it would be good enough for a person used to home cooked meals.

When you were a Satanist, how many times were you sodomized by Marilyn Manson? Also, were an animals involved. If so, which kind? Cats? Dogs? Cows? Goats?

I never had the "honor" (as I would have called it at the time) of meeting him in person. I did come close one time but I didn't have a backstage pass so security booted me.

Goats are almost always and indefinitely involved in the sodomy. Satanists love their goats.

Can you confirm for us that mary worshipers are directly in league with your ex-master satan, and that the roman pope is his willing thrall, carrying out his diabolical plans all over the world in an attempt to crush True Christianity™?

But of course. Why else would any person dress like this?



Look at the evil in those squinty eyes.

I had another picture that my only Christian friend once sent me of a demon dressed in a red robe at the Vatican.....but I think satan's minions hacked my computer and deleted it to prevent me from spreading the Truth. It was sure fire proof that the catholics are in league with satan....I wonder if I can get him to send it to me again.

What I would like to know is how these Organizations work together. Who is pulling the strings? The Pope or Mr Manson? Or are my theories about Steven Hawking being the leader of this war against God founded?

The heirarchy is very complex and the one pulling the strings is satan himself. Each satanic organization performs its own duties in an attempt to attack God and his followers from all sides. Hawking tries his best to disprove God through his use of "science", the catholics are trying to create a powerful organization with the ability to start a satanic New World Order, and Manson can be thought of as a general of sorts training and ordering satan's little Goth lackeys.

There is still an order of power and in terms of who holds the most sway, I would have to say the catholics. They have the most money and the most members so they tend to call the shots, though it can be debated that there are some unground, shadow groups that are even above the catholics such as the Illuminati and the like but substantial evidence is few and far between (but still out there).

Also, Is the Church of Satan at the head of the Catholic Church, or the other way around? And what about these rumors we keep hearing about plans to build a massive robot army somewhere in the desert, programmed by Goths and Satanists, to attack Churches and kill Christians?

Since the Church of Satan was founded so much later than the Catholic Church, the Catholics tend to get an attitude about being a kind of "first born" and refuse to take orders from the CoS. The CoS is really just the frosting on the satanic stripper cake.

Now, I don't know anything about robots in the desert but I can tell you (and doing this may come back to haunt me if the satanists find out who's leaking information) that not all asians are human. There are a good number of factories owned by various satanic groups throughout countries in the Far East that create cyborgs made to look like normal asian people (if you can call them normal). This is probably the robot army you're refering to (though there may be newer facilities in the deserts of the Middle East) since they are programmed to seek and destroy Christians.

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Here you go, friend.

Thank you Pastor, now I can finally throw away those satanic rock albums.

how am I get invite to satanic orgy?

I don't think can Hitoshi. There are some things that even satanists won't do (a.k.a. you).

Hmmm....quick quesiton Hitoshi, you're not a cyborg by any chance, are you?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Hehe, well I guess the obvious answer would be "worshiping satan," but I think that one's kind of a given.

That's hardly unique to Satanists. What about Mahommedans?

I have but I never listened to them. I used to listen to music that was actually satanic, a.k.a Beatles ablums played backwards.

Or forwards!

Can you confirm for us that Marilyn Manson is the head of the Church of Satan and the Gothic Cult, and tell us more about his plans to use Goths and Wiccers as suicide bombers against Christians.

Can you tell us what position Hillary Clinton holds in the Church of Satan and the Gothic Cult?

Now, I don't know anything about robots in the desert but I can tell you (and doing this may come back to haunt me if the satanists find out who's leaking information) that not all asians are human. There are a good number of factories owned by various satanic groups throughout countries in the Far East that create cyborgs made to look like normal asian people (if you can call them normal). This is probably the robot army you're refering to (though there may be newer facilities in the deserts of the Middle East) since they are programmed to seek and destroy Christians.

Does this explain Hitoshi? If so, should he be banned again?

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

That's hardly unique to Satanists. What about Mahommedans?

Good point, I forgot about them...but then again, who doesn't.

Can you tell us what position Hillary Clinton holds in the Church of Satan and the Gothic Cult?

She's one of satan's whores (and yes, I say that knowing full well that all of satan's whores are men). Personally, I think she's also a failed beta for the asian cyborgs. I don't have any evidence for this yet; it's just a hunch.

Does this explain Hitoshi? If so, should he be banned again?

I've had my suspicions about him from the beginning but I wouldn't ban him again until we know for sure.