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For those who attend Landover Baptist Church, be sure to attend my full historic slide show in the Fellowship Room on Sunday after the sermon.
For the rest stuck on the Interwebs, here's a small preview....
-Photo of me taken back in 1985. I was now fully on the Heather Hardwick-diet later made popular by Sally Struthers. This was around the time when I was running my own church which was a division of Landover. I was getting pestered by the next door church called the St. Tony Pepperoni Catholic Church which was run by the ring-kissing, greasy haired, fast-talking Eyetalian mob that moved in from Jew York. Finally I was forced to move when they pelted the sanctuary with spaghetti and meat balls beyond repair. Because this was a time when the public thought the tough-guy wops were "cool" I lost the case, but not to worry because they won't be going all "ayyyyy" and "ohhhhh" any longer when they are finally screaming in a Lake of Fire!
My professional picture. This is closer to what I look like today. I've gotten a lot of comments from some of the Ladies of Landover on this one. This is what a real man ought to look like! I have got more Good News™ to spread around than any sissy, Afreakcan't pentecostal!
-Here's a picture that all you might recognize. This was painted during my trip to San Fransissyco to save the locale-homos. Some "artist" thought they would be funny to paint me while I was rebuking them! Then there was nothing funny when I sent him on an early trip to Jesus!
This was also around the time when I got caught up in some business in England entailing the murder of Dr. Lawrence Black using a Rope in the Conservatory. Good thing I was innocent! After all, it isn't murder if God tells you to do it right?
-A rare painting of my great ancestor, Mr. Johnathon R. Green. He was a True Christian™. Like all good men like him had to give up his slave plantation when that homer called Lincoln became President. Nonetheless he stayed a virtuous man until some dirty Injuns shot him dead and desecrated his body. However to get them back, we at Landover have built Freehold's Wal-mart on their burial grounds! GLORY!
This is my father, Papa Green. The head commanding patriarch of the house back in 1955. If it weren't for him, I would have never turned out the way I did. I practice his methods of Bible beatings on my own kids to whip them into Christian shape! Those were the good ol' days!
Today, he's a droolin' 99-year old geezer who has now been arrested for so-called murder. We at Landover are still petitioning to set Papa Green free!
That's it for now. Full version for Local Members only, which as I said before will be hosted in the Fellowship Room after Pastor Deacon Fred's sermon. GLORY!
For the rest stuck on the Interwebs, here's a small preview....
-Photo of me taken back in 1985. I was now fully on the Heather Hardwick-diet later made popular by Sally Struthers. This was around the time when I was running my own church which was a division of Landover. I was getting pestered by the next door church called the St. Tony Pepperoni Catholic Church which was run by the ring-kissing, greasy haired, fast-talking Eyetalian mob that moved in from Jew York. Finally I was forced to move when they pelted the sanctuary with spaghetti and meat balls beyond repair. Because this was a time when the public thought the tough-guy wops were "cool" I lost the case, but not to worry because they won't be going all "ayyyyy" and "ohhhhh" any longer when they are finally screaming in a Lake of Fire!
My professional picture. This is closer to what I look like today. I've gotten a lot of comments from some of the Ladies of Landover on this one. This is what a real man ought to look like! I have got more Good News™ to spread around than any sissy, Afreakcan't pentecostal!
-Here's a picture that all you might recognize. This was painted during my trip to San Fransissyco to save the locale-homos. Some "artist" thought they would be funny to paint me while I was rebuking them! Then there was nothing funny when I sent him on an early trip to Jesus!
This was also around the time when I got caught up in some business in England entailing the murder of Dr. Lawrence Black using a Rope in the Conservatory. Good thing I was innocent! After all, it isn't murder if God tells you to do it right?
-A rare painting of my great ancestor, Mr. Johnathon R. Green. He was a True Christian™. Like all good men like him had to give up his slave plantation when that homer called Lincoln became President. Nonetheless he stayed a virtuous man until some dirty Injuns shot him dead and desecrated his body. However to get them back, we at Landover have built Freehold's Wal-mart on their burial grounds! GLORY!
This is my father, Papa Green. The head commanding patriarch of the house back in 1955. If it weren't for him, I would have never turned out the way I did. I practice his methods of Bible beatings on my own kids to whip them into Christian shape! Those were the good ol' days!
Today, he's a droolin' 99-year old geezer who has now been arrested for so-called murder. We at Landover are still petitioning to set Papa Green free!
That's it for now. Full version for Local Members only, which as I said before will be hosted in the Fellowship Room after Pastor Deacon Fred's sermon. GLORY!
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