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  • Jim C. Lombardo
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Aug 2014
    • 565
    #1

    Heaven Bound Questionaire

    Jesus has called you home. St. Peter leads you by the hand to a desk where you must fill out a questionaire:

    IT'S YOUR LIFE

    Question #1: How many queers did you punch?



    (Object: Answer the above question, add one to the list! Remember to re-post the entire list each time you answer! )
    Tags: None
    • Jim C. Lombardo
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Aug 2014
      • 565
      #2
      Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

      I'll go first to demonstrate.

      Question #1: How many queers did you punch?
      6,050, not counting that tranny-bull dyke

      Question #2
      Take Thy Name in Vain? Yes or NO?


      (Note: I decided to nix the rule about reposting the entire list. It's going to make the thread awfully long. Just answer the question and post the next, got it? )

        Comment

        • Mother Of Seven
          True Christian™ with a quiverful
          • Jan 2014
          • 2243
          #3
          Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

          Originally posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
          Question #2
          Take Thy Name in Vain? Yes or NO?
          Oh my Lord no, never!
          Self-pleasuring?

            Comment

            • Jim C. Lombardo
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Aug 2014
              • 565
              #4
              Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

              Self-pleasuring?
              Only if it's pleasuring for Jesus.

              Do you spread for Him?

                Comment

                • Benedict A. Davis
                  Winning Souls in his Winnebago
                  True Christian™
                  • May 2010
                  • 3900
                  #5
                  Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

                  Originally posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
                  Jesus has called you home. St. Peter leads you by the hand to a desk where you must fill out a questionaire: )
                  Who is this ST. PETER guy anyway? You have been long in the land of Heathens or a priest in lambs clothing.
                  sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                  Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                  Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                  Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                    Comment

                    • Jim C. Lombardo
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                      • Aug 2014
                      • 565
                      #6
                      Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

                      Originally posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
                      Who is this ST. PETER guy anyway? You have been long in the land of Heathens or a priest in lambs clothing.
                      Brother, there is truth to your presumptions. I was raised once in a Cathylick-athiest household. It's difficult to explain how such a twisted background would be possible or that it turned me on the path of drugs and addiction before finding Landover, but you can read about it HERE.

                      I wouldn't be surprised if today still, I continue to suffer from my twisted origins.

                        Comment

                        • Faith_Machine
                          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Mar 2011
                          • 10050
                          #7
                          Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

                          Well Jim, the first step is admitting you have a problem. I admire your courage. Now let's get every last bit of Papist demonism out of you once and for all. Why don't we schedule a nice prayer cleansing retreat for you? They're held in Pastor Zeke's cabin in the Ozark Mountains. Lovely this time of year.
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                            Comment

                            • Jim C. Lombardo
                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                              • Aug 2014
                              • 565
                              #8
                              Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

                              Amen, Brother Faith. I think several hours with Pastor Zeke in the faith healing sauna will sort me out!

                                Comment

                                • Thomas Helwys
                                  Forum Member
                                  Forum Member
                                  • Aug 2014
                                  • 126
                                  #9
                                  Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire

                                  Originally posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
                                  Amen, Brother Faith. I think several hours with Pastor Zeke in the faith healing sauna will sort me out!
                                  I've been there and trust me, it's not nearly as big and scary as you've heard it is!
                                  Revelation 19:15-16 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords."

                                    Comment

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