[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

But Pastor Al, does the bible mention jesus whizzing? It doesn't seem to, but by saying that he never turned wine into water suggests...well.....the alternative.

If you can find a bible passage that quotes jesus whizzing, by all means post it and prove me wrong.

MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL! Of course JESUS WHIZZED! EVERYWHERE HE DID THERE IS A GODLY TREE, even unto this day!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

But Pastor Al, does the bible mention jesus whizzing? It doesn't seem to, but by saying that he never turned wine into water suggests...well.....the alternative.

If you can find a bible passage that quotes jesus whizzing, by all means post it and prove me wrong.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

You know, Pastor Al, something came to my mind thinking about this. The bible talks about how jesus made water into wine, but never once how he made wine into water.
Now it seems that the bible seems to talk about him drinking wine a lot, but if he never made water out of wine, only one logical conclusion can be drawn.

The bible is trying to say that jesus never took a whiz. (or urinated for the more politically correct)
*snicker*

YOU TART! JESUS WHIZZED PRODIGIOUSLY, ALL OVER PALESTINE! I will ban you forever if you ever dare say that He didn't!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

Our Lord Jesus didn't INVENT wine, but he DID MAKE it.

You know, Pastor Al, something came to my mind thinking about this. The bible talks about how jesus made water into wine, but never once how he made wine into water.
Now it seems that the bible seems to talk about him drinking wine a lot, but if he never made water out of wine, only one logical conclusion can be drawn.

The bible is trying to say that jesus never took a whiz. (or urinated for the more politically correct)
*snicker*

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

... Bourbon is just American wine.

Much like "Stay The Coarse" and 'Well Clinton lied to Congress!"?


The most famous American Jewish wine is "I wanna go to Myyammy."

The best known Baptist wine is "We need more money from you right away!"


We Catholics appreciate wine both as a ceremonial element and as a normal part of a well balanced diet. Red is best of course. Jesus didn't have white blood...at least according to Mel Gibson.





Bless you, my bumpkin non-oenophiles.
Father Mo

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

I hear that the Canucks make their wine from maypole syrup!! Ugh! I bet it freezes and sticks to the glass because it's sooooo cold up there!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

I cannot refute the Godly Pastor Ezekiel's comments, so I am changing the subject in a vain attempt to draw attention away from the fact that I have just been OWNED by the power of Christ.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

And another hundred for doing SOMETHING! I'm not sure what, but you should know better!

You seem a little on edge, dear Pastor. Here's something that might make you feel better
http://www.drugstore.com/qxp77758_33...r_capsules.htm

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

You can't change the facts. In order for it to actually be considered wine, it needs to be made from grapes. Bourbon is not, and cannot be considered wine. Nothing can change that!

Typical atheist doublespeak. When the facts don't fit, make things up and insist your'e right.

Jap wine is made from rice. It's called Sake. Ever heard of apple wine? Dandelion wine? In Greece they make godawful swill out of pine needles called Retsina. No grapes. In Georgia they make peach wine. In California they make strawberry wine. No grapes.

So shut up, you empty-headed female. Go fetch me a sandwich!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

And if you scroll to the beginning of the thread, you'll see SHE was agreeing with ME.

And another hundred for doing SOMETHING! I'm not sure what, but you should know better!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

Exactly my point. Glad at least one person can see it!


That's a little mean, Pastor Al. It was a perfectly valid point!

And if you scroll to the beginning of the thread, you'll see SHE was agreeing with ME.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

I must agree with the heathen. Wine's wine. Brandy is concentrated wine. Bourbon is neither wine nor concentrated wine.

Exactly my point. Glad at least one person can see it!

I must assign you a hundred new demerits for agreeing with a Heathen!

That's a little mean, Pastor Al. It was a perfectly valid point!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

Pastor, I do hope I misunderstand, and you're not talking about BTB's Double-Ds. Hopefully, she has daughters?

DAUGHTERS! Yes, of course! Her daughters! But....ummmm Sister Thumper isn't old enough to have children is she?

I must agree with the heathen. Wine's wine. Brandy is concentrated wine. Bourbon is neither wine nor concentrated wine.

I must assign you a hundred new demerits for agreeing with a Heathen!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

Actually Sister, I was talking about your girls.

Pastor, I do hope I misunderstand, and you're not talking about BTB's Double-Ds. Hopefully, she has daughters?

You can't change the facts. In order for it to actually be considered wine, it needs to be made from grapes. Bourbon is not, and cannot be considered wine. Nothing can change that!

I must agree with the heathen. Wine's wine. Brandy is concentrated wine. Bourbon is neither wine nor concentrated wine.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

You can't change the facts. In order for it to actually be considered wine, it needs to be made from grapes. Bourbon is not, and cannot be considered wine. Nothing can change that!

Mrs Van Spitbottle, let me assure you that the definition for 'wine' is just as flexible as the definition for 'The Constitution of the United States of America'.