Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

[Johny Joe Hold]

We've all been annoyed at telemarketers trying to get our social security, medicare and bank account numbers. Instead of getting angry and hanging up, I have been developing a script to bring them to Jesus.

When the telemarketer asked me, "How are you today?", I answer, "It's a glorious day the Lord has given us. Have you prayed today?"

I've found the marketer is silent. This is my opening to ask about sin in his life and tell him he can have his sins forgiven. Before he can say anything I bring up homerism and ask about his attractions.

A lot of these call come from India where people are yearning for something other than the fake religion call Hinduism. Think what a blessing it would be if we could bring all the young people making these calls to Jesus.

Use These Powerful Sample Telemarketing Scripts for Your Business (and additional tips!) | CallHub

[handmaiden]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

We've all been annoyed at telemarketers trying to get our social security, medicare and bank account numbers. Instead of getting angry and hanging up, I have been developing a script to bring them to Jesus.

When the telemarketer asked me, "How are you today?", I answer, "It's a glorious day the Lord has given us. Have you prayed today?"

I've found the marketer is silent. This is my opening to ask about sin in his life and tell him he can have his sins forgiven. Before he can say anything I bring up homerism and ask about his attractions.

A lot of these call come from India where people are yearning for something other than the fake religion call Hinduism. Think what a blessing it would be if we could bring all the young people making these calls to Jesus.

Use These Powerful Sample Telemarketing Scripts for Your Business (and additional tips!) | CallHub

Dear Brother Mayor, I've done my share of telephone work, and a lot of my fellow employees claimed to be Christian. I would often hear a lot of "God bless you-s" from co-workers closing their calls.

These same co-workers often wore elaborately broidered hair, tight-fitting clothes and had children out of wedlock. How do you recommend dealing with a telemarketer who insists that they already "have Jesus"? Is it okay to straight out ask them what they are wearing? And should I push them to admit to their non-marital sex?

Just in case, which are the best verses to throw in their faces cite to them?

[WWJDnow]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

This is an excellent idea. Don't forget to ask the telemarketer to pray with you. Once they've prayed to Jesus, they're well on the way toward salvation!

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

This is a brilliant idea. But a word of caution: do NOT attempt to convert 911 operators to Christ. They're rude and ill-mannered on a normal day, and they get even more foul-tempered when you try to fellowship with them and pray to Jesus.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

I've tried many times to counsel these telemarketers, but with little success.

One time I asked them what they do when the Mormons / LDS come knocking on their door when they're trying to have dinner. Another time I reminded them of the Sermon on the Mount and the Loves and Fishes - people came to Jesus voluntarily. If they would quit their scamming job and found more honest work Jesus would forgive them. Most of the time they would hang up on me - and hang up on Jesus.

[handmaiden]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

I've tried many times to counsel these telemarketers, but with little success. . .
Most of the time they would hang up on me - and hang up on Jesus.

You really have hit on a salient point there, Brother Bryan.

People don't seem to realize that when they reject us they are really rejecting God, Himself.

Those of us who truly know God through His Word and who have untaken the Great Commission to spread His Word understand that we speak for Him and that we are charged with His Authority. If that means that we have to tell people things that they don't want to hear and take control of the courts and legislature and school boards in order to ensure that God's Will is fulfilled in this world, so be it.

People who hate us hate God, pure and simple. And God has made it abundantly clear that the people who hate Him are deserving of all manner of punishment. God. Will. NOT. Be. Mocked.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

So, will they all become like Alex Jones?

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

Brothers, if you tell them you have a Google Play card they will stay on the phone with you for days. Start them with Genesis 1:1.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

If I didn't break my phone to get rid of my whining daughters, I would certainly be doing this!

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

Thank you Brother Mayor for sharing the link - I spent time studying the techniques. Based on a 2nd order analysis I can simplify it to a fail-safe template to ensnare your prospect:

Prospect: Hello?
Winner: Hi <insert relevant greeting here>
Prospect: What can I do for you?
Winner: I'd like to talk to you about <insert compelling reason here>
Prospect: Oh?
Winner: Yes <insert product details here - be interesting!>
Prospect: Hmm. So how does that help me?
Winner: <Insert explanation how product will transform business>
Prospect: Sounds good.
Winner: <Insert irresistible closer>
Prospect: I'm sold - can I have sex with you right now?
Winner: Okay. Fantastic. <Insert clever and funny sign off>

Bonus: the template works for incels to get dates too!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

All selling is the same. I hate to admit it but we in politics use a little of the never-fail marketing techniques.

First, you have to gain the trust of your prospect. I do that by telling them about sin. When they realize I know about their sins they feel forced to admit them. Once they have opened up about their sins you close the deal with God's forgiveness.

I admit I do have some problems with the telemarketers from India. They have never heard of sin and tend to hang up on me. I'm sure I'll find a way to reach them.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Convert Telemarketers to Jesus

I admit I do have some problems with the telemarketers from India. They have never heard of sin and tend to hang up on me. I'm sure I'll find a way to reach them.

It's just a matter of speaking the same language, which happily we and the call center Hindoos do. They don't understand Christian theological concepts like sin and salvation, however. Tell them that what they're doing is bad karma, and that our God is bigger and more powerful than all of their false gods put together. If they are made aware that Jesus could beat Vishnu, Ganesh, Kali, Buddha, Shiva and all those other demons with one hand tied behind his back, they may see the Truth and start using toilets and eating beef.