[Aristotle]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

I know this FALSE Christian has been band but Jesus is tasking me to reply to these false, Satan inspired words; you have a simple choice

a) masturbate and damn yourself a self-sodomist

or

b) Make a heroic sacrifice and gain the Kingdom of Heaven for all eternity.

How can a fleeting, three to ten second involuntary spasm of the name nature as being electrocuted equal an eternity of bliss?

Show some sense and cut that hand off friends.

Perhaps the hand is not the body part that he needs to amputate.

Matthew 19:11-12: "But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

[Noah Dint]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Perhaps the hand is not the body part that he needs to amputate.

Matthew 19:11-12: "But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

This is actually a very easy process that can be done with a band-saw that has a motorized feeding table on it. It will go through any limb and the supporting bone structure like butter. Glory!

-ND

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Is this a Joke?

It's no more a joke than is the Bible itself.

you're Telling people to cut their limbs off!

Not quite. Jesus is telling people to cut their limbs off.

so you used your hand for something wrong once, surely thats not going to ruin your chances of getting into "heaven" if your an over all nice person.

Since when is being "an over all nice person" what gets you into Heaven?

[Brian Ashmore]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Since when is being "an over all nice person" what gets you into Heaven?[/QUOTE]

Since always. You get judged by your deeds towards the people around you, not by what you do to yourself(i.e. masturbating). It's the whole idea behind the ''Love thy neighbor, love thy enemy'' phrase, which is one of the few phrases that could have been actually said by Jesus, and not fabricated by the writers of the Bible.

Why would someone who teaches and preaches love and understanding, compassion and kindness, tell you to mutilate yourself over a silly thing like masturbating.

And if masturbating gets you into hell, 95% of earth human populace has a one way ticket to hell since the age of around 12, 13, 14. Maybe 15 for the shy ones.

And if you just ban and ignore me, or ban and then answer, it just shows you're afraid to enter a debate, and know that I'm right. So, whats it gonna be? Admit that I'm right, or finally stand up for your beliefs which you're all so proud about

[A Follower]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Since when is being "an over all nice person" what gets you into Heaven?
Since always. You get judged by your deeds towards the people around you, not by what you do to yourself(i.e. masturbating). It's the whole idea behind the ''Love thy neighbor, love thy enemy'' phrase, which is one of the few phrases that could have been actually said by Jesus, and not fabricated by the writers of the Bible.

Why would someone who teaches and preaches love and understanding, compassion and kindness, tell you to mutilate yourself over a silly thing like masturbating.

And if masturbating gets you into hell, 95% of earth human populace has a one way ticket to hell since the age of around 12, 13, 14. Maybe 15 for the shy ones.

And if you just ban and ignore me, or ban and then answer, it just shows you're afraid to enter a debate, and know that I'm right. So, whats it gonna be? Admit that I'm right, or finally stand up for your beliefs which you're all so proud about

You're first post here and you claim you're right and all of us are wrong, a bit arrogant, aren't you? Worse, you have no evidence, no logic, nothing at all to back up your claims. All you say is God teaches love and associated bullshit, and use your own statement as proof that you're right.

Why don't you read your Bible and then come here to debate, it might then be worthwhile for both of us. Your current method of discussion only serves to expose you as an ignorant fool.

[Brian Ashmore]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

You're first post here and you claim you're right and all of us are wrong, a bit arrogant, aren't you? Worse, you have no evidence, no logic, nothing at all to back up your claims. All you say is God teaches love and associated bullshit, and use your own statement as proof that you're right.

Why don't you read your Bible and then come here to debate, it might then be worthwhile for both of us. Your current method of discussion only serves to expose you as an ignorant fool.

It's not the least bit arrogant to say that people who are telling others to cut off limbs because they do something that every normal person who is sexually attracted to the opposite(or same) gender does, and people who say that rape is just the woman's fault are wrong. Look for logic in those two things. And that's only what I saw on this forum, I don't dare look any further. It's disturbing to the sane mind. It's probably full of homophobia, sexism, violence, hatred and wrath and vengeance. Just like this thread.

Love and ''associated bullshit'' is what Jesus was preaching, which you would know if you read the Bible, so don't be a hypocrite.

And you're also being a hypocrite for calling me an ignorant fool. Someone who thinks and is open to opinions and the fact that what he believes could be wrong is hardly ignorant. Also don't be a hypocrite for telling me I have no logic and evidence. Realistically looking, religion is among the most illogical and inconsistent things existing on Earth. And with no evidence. Zero. Nothing. Just belief and faith into something any human could have written and said it's the word of God.

It's common sense. You'd know it too if you had any

[Wide-Open]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Love and ''associated bullshit'' is what Jesus was preaching, which you would know if you read the Bible, so don't be a hypocrite.

Well friend, that's wrong. You are thinking about John Lennon, not Jesus our Lord. Jesus had a serious temper, and so did his Dad, a.k.a. God. (a.k.a. Himself)

God killed more people then you seem to know.

And Jesus died for our sins - Lennon didn't.

But OK, at least here you are somehow stating your POV on Baby Jesus.

However:

Realistically looking, religion is among the most illogical and inconsistent things existing on Earth.

That sounds like you don't believe in Jesus at all. Yet you come here telling us - people who actually did read the Bible - how we should interpret His words.

Did you know He'll come back to kill one third of the earth? Does that sound like "love" to you.

Sorry pal, but God isn't that easy. There is a very narrow path to follow, and just giving high fives to everyone won't cut it. You will have to follow His directions like a Garmin GPS.

Sooooo... let's start with some actual words from Him...

Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Does that sound like "peace bro!" to you?

[Brian Ashmore]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Oh I do know that God is the leading cause of death throughout history, just like everyone else who takes History classes. Just look at The Crusades, The Inquisitions, Northern Ireland, The Witch Hunts, et cetera.

And just take a minute and stop to think about what you said about the God you believe in. You said he is a vengeful and hating father figure who kills off his own children whenever he likes, and that he will send Jesus back to earth to kill one third of the populace. So basically you worship a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully, children abuser and serial killer.

I did read most of the Bible, if not everything. And yes, I am telling you the rational and logical interpretation of Jesus words. How every moral, sane, and decent person would understand them. And just as I have no proof that that particular phrase really comes from Jesus, you also have no proof that the phrase you cited comes from Jesus, so don't say it's the actual word of Jesus.

And if we have that narrow path to follow and we must not do anything God doesn't want us to do, then why did he give us free will and freedom of choice, huh? Just to fill up Hell so it's not an empty place? Just shows how sadistic he is and how he loves his children

And by the way, you might want to change your signature.
''I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.'' -That's just nasty, good sir.

[Wide-Open]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Just look at The Crusades, The Inquisitions, Northern Ireland, The Witch Hunts, et cetera.

Now now, they were mostly cathlycks, but yes, I do get your point.

You said he is a vengeful and hating father figure who kills off his own children whenever he likes, and that he will send Jesus back to earth to kill one third of the populace. So basically you worship a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully, children abuser and serial killer.

Whoa Nelly! I didn't say that! My trusty KJV says so. And those labels are your words, not mine.

Are you familiar with the Midianites?

Numbers 31

1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
2 Avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites: afterward shalt thou be gathered unto thy people.
3 And Moses spake unto the people, saying, Arm some of yourselves unto the war, and let them go against the Midianites, and avenge the LORD of Midian.
4 Of every tribe a thousand, throughout all the tribes of Israel, shall ye send to the war.
5 So there were delivered out of the thousands of Israel, a thousand of every tribe, twelve thousand armed for war.
6 And Moses sent them to the war, a thousand of every tribe, them and Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, to the war, with the holy instruments, and the trumpets to blow in his hand.
7 And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.
8 And they slew the kings of Midian, beside the rest of them that were slain; namely, Evi, and Rekem, and Zur, and Hur, and Reba, five kings of Midian: Balaam also the son of Beor they slew with the sword.
9 And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods.
10 And they burnt all their cities wherein they dwelt, and all their goodly castles, with fire.

It goes on for a bit, mind.

God got really cranky there, didn't He?

And if we have that narrow path to follow and we must not do anything God doesn't want us to do, then why did he give us free will and freedom of choice, huh?

So we would have a choice. Simple eh!

Just to fill up Hell so it's not an empty place? Just shows how sadistic he is and how he loves his children

He loves all the children who love Him back.

And by the way, you might want to change your signature.
''I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.'' -That's just nasty, good sir.

What's nasty about that. It's in the Bible!

[Brian Ashmore]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

''I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.'' With this, you're making God look very easy

[Brian Ashmore]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

So we would have a choice. Simple eh!

You don't give much of a choice in life tho. Do everything the Bible and Church tell you, or its eternal suffering and damnation for you. Sounds like means for controlling masses, rather than how our Creator wants us to live life

[GOD=life]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

Oh I do know that God is the leading cause of death throughout history, ...

Considering that God created those souls in the first place and only their physical shells actually died, your remark is rather odd.

God is the ONLY cause of life throughout history.

[A Follower]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

''I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.'' With this, you're making God look very easy

God doesn't just look easy, He is easy. All you have to do is follow the KJV Bible (1611 edition) to the letter, and He'll provide for you, both in this life and in the next.

[James Hutchins]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

You don't give much of a choice in life tho. Do everything the Bible and Church tell you, or its eternal suffering and damnation for you. Sounds like means for controlling masses, rather than how our Creator wants us to live life

See son, we did not Create the Heavens and the Earth. God did. We are playing in His yard, we play by His rules.
One of the mistakes many heathens make is assuming they can 'tweak the play book' to suit. Major penalty.

[GOD=life]

Re: The True Christian™ Guide to Self-Amputation

''I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.'' With this, you're making God look very easy

BINGO!

Finally someone who gets it! It is SO easy! All you have to do is surrender to God and follow the KJV 1611 Bible and the rest will happen by itself. You will get EVERYTHING you need in this life and the next.

But INSTEAD, many people go "nah, I don't think God exists" and "if I go to Hell, at least I had fun".

It's really INCREDIBLE that people will refuse to accept God when it really IS so very easy.

Do YOU accept God?