[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

In the first photo she appears to be a chink from the phillistines, a cesspool of an island inhabited by mary-worshipping animals and mudslimes. No Godly True Christian female would want such looks. In the secong photo she has improved a bit, but still looks like a slant. I'd at least give her a job as a cook in my scullery if she applied whatever warpaint she has on continuously.

[Talitha]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

Well, Praise The Lord©
With help from Brother Salvation Seeker and 2 of my Security staff my daughter has been brought back home to the safety of Freehold.
In the Gun-battle that ensued, tragically her Lover was shot dead and my daughter was also accidentally shot in the head, but she has thankfully survived.
Doctors say she may stay in a Vegetative state for the rest of her life, and presently all she seems to do is make strange noises and dribbles a lot.

I would take care of her myself, but you know how it is with public appearances and Nail Parlour appointments, I never get a moment to myself.

I would ask our Godly©Pastors for guidance as to whether it would be permitted for me to place an advertisement in the Christian Singles Section to see if any man would be interested in her?
She's a good looking girl in spite of part of her head missing, and although she is obviously used goods I'm sure she would still be able to carry Babies for a good christian man who wants a woman who most definately won't back-talk him.

I don't want a cash payment for her as I have plenty of money already, but some kind of Barter would be acceptable.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

Doctors say she may stay in a Vegetative state for the rest of her life, and presently all she seems to do is make strange noises and dribbles a lot.

I would take care of her myself, but you know how it is with public appearances and Nail Parlour appointments, I never get a moment to myself.

I would ask our Godly©Pastors for guidance as to whether it would be permitted for me to place an advertisement in the Christian Singles Section to see if any man would be interested in her?
She's a good looking girl in spite of part of her head missing, and although she is obviously used goods I'm sure she would still be able to carry Babies for a good christian man who wants a woman who most definately won't back-talk him.

She sounds like she'd be a perfect wife for Brother Mike.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

Doctors say she may stay in a Vegetative state for the rest of her life, and presently all she seems to do is make strange noises and dribbles a lot. I think she seems interested in asian culture and foods

I would take care of her myself, but you know how it is with public appearances and Nail Parlour appointments, I never get a moment to myself. I especailly have a hard time doing anything productive after leaving those fumy asian nail parlors in the mall.

I would ask our Godly©Pastors for guidance as to whether it would be permitted for me to place an advertisement in the Christian Singles Section to see if any man would be interested in her?
She's a good looking girl in spite of part of her head missing, and although she is obviously used goods I'm sure she would still be able to carry Babies for a good christian man who wants a woman who most definately won't back-talk him. So, it sounds like she qualifies as a Born Again?

I don't want a cash payment for her as I have plenty of money already, but some kind of Barter would be acceptable. This certainlywould qualify her as not being a gold digger.

Sister, I am thrilled to notify you that I have found a match for your somewhat attractive, born again daughter, who has an interst in asian culture and food. Of course, she will be considered a bit geeky, due to her dribbles. Anyway, I have highlighted the compatible attrubutes your daughter has as requested by the young man who wrote the following personal ad:

So, here's the thing. Friday I'm looking to check out a real live Sushi joint, but I don't know anyone that's interested in coming with me. And frankly, there's no way I'm really willing to go in there all by myself. Friend of mine introduced me to the pre-packaged King Soopers variety awhile ago, and now I'm wanting to try the real thing. (It seems the young man could drag your daughter to just about anywhere)

That said, I also wouldn't mind going in with a somewhat attractive woman, so I figured I'd give this a shot. Naturally I've got some qualifications, and I'm not expecting anything sexual to happen out of this, though I certainly wouldn't object to anything developing more than just dinner. (sounds perfect to me!)

So, if you've read this far, I can assume you're at least somewhat interested. Now, as to what I'm looking for. . . (Shallow, I know. But since this is effectively a blind date, I'm a little wary about doing this but thought I'd give it a shot.): Somewhat covers a lot

* You must be interested in asian culture and foods. I'm no expert, but it gives at least one conversation topic. (I think we've already established this, but even if we are wrong, I doubt your daughter will complain)

* Consider yourself a bit geeky. I tend to have some hobbies most would consider a bit odd, including sci-fi and doing a bunch of stuff with computers. So if this doesn't scare you away, keep reading. She dribbles

* Height/weight proportionate, and in general take good care of yourself physically. I'm looking to get back in the gym in a couple weeks here, and I'd prefer someone that tends to be concerned (but not too much) with their appearances. Flaws are okay, just don't be riddled with them. (This is extremely subjective and varies from girl to girl, of course). He said it, not me!

* Be open minded about sex and religion. Like I said, I'm not looking to get laid on the first meeting (But wouldn't object), but I'm fond of ultra conservative religions women, so if you consider yourself a born-again Christian, please do apply. As far as sex goes, I simply want someone who's not going to totally freak out to hear that the blgt community doesn't bother me in the slightest and is interested in trying new (within reason) things. If you happen to know what a Feeldoe is, you get bonus points!* She seems quite literally open minded, since her "accident" and I googled Feeldoe (I'm not sure about this, maybe someone else can explain it: http://www.feeldoe.com/ )

* Be financially secure, or at least not be a golddigger. I'm busy working full time at the moment myself, but I'm not looking to support anyone but me. So if you're wanting a sugar-daddy, you need not apply. I doubt she'll be doing any kind of digging too soon!

* Finally, include a pic! Again, since this is a blind date, I'd like to know who I'll be meeting up with. Be 21+ I've found dating anyone younger can be. . .problematic, and I'd rather not deal with the type of drama that can bring. So if you're STILL interested after slogging through all of this, shoot me an email.

Anyway, Sister Talitha, do you think there's a chance? Caring Mother Glendora