Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

[Talitha]

Pastors, I feel I need some help regarding a very delicate matter.

I have a teenage Daughter who under normal circumstances I would be able to bring under my control using the normal Christian chastisement methods.

However, earlier this year, she ran away with a Negra.
A full-bloodied Buck with Dreadlocks, lots of gold Jewellery and a mind for raping white women and stealing Pies.

My Security eventually tracked them down and dragged her back to Freehold.

The Negra I believe committed suicide on the spot. I guess losing a white woman was more than he could stand, and according to my men, he not only shot himself 25 times in the head but also managed to stagger to a nearby Tree, hang himself by the neck and whilst there, the Demon inserted a Banana into his own Rectum whilst singing a Rap song. (He will surely now be in Hell).

She had been back in Freehold for not quite a month when she ran off again, never to be heard of for 3 months until I got the following in the post.



Please give me some Godly advice on what to do. She seems intent on ruining her True Christian™ upbringing, and this is breaking my heart.

Should I allow her to continue with this freak show romance and hope that it goes away, or should I treat this "object" the same as the Negra?

Yours in Hope and in Christ

Sister Talitha

[Ixi]

Just let her live her own life.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Please give me some Godly advice on what to do. She seems intent on ruining her True Christian™ upbringing, and this is breaking my heart.

Should I allow her to continue with this freak show romance and hope that it goes away, or should I treat this "object" the same as the Negra?

Yours in Hope and in Christ

Sister Talitha

Sister, you have asked the right person. I have actually BEEN to Australia and I can assure you that the picture is authentic. Everyone there looks exactly like that. My advice to you is to have someone 'borrow' her passport so she can't bring something like that back to America. When the state department calls asking you to identify her, tell them you have no daughter.

We have some missionaries in that country as well as a Church in New Zealand feom where we occasionally launch cross-channel raids against the Aussie Goths. Please email me with her address and we'll see what we can do.

[SalvationSeeker]

I understand your pain Sister, and you would be wise to do as the good Pastor says.
I will pray for you, and hopefully we can even pray together some day.

As for the thing.. I'd be willing to take the contrac.. eh, show him the love of JESUS myself.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

If I may be so bold.....

If that were MY child, I would stone her to death as JESUS commands us.

Helpful, Sister Thumper

[Mrs. Rogers]

Should I allow her to continue with this freak show romance and hope that it goes away, or should I treat this "object" the same as the Negra?

The boy is indeed whiter than blinding white, but there is a definite negrotic attitude about him - his chest is tattooed with a homage to a certain wardrobe malfunction, which would indicate he's only using your daughter until someone bigger, bustier and blacker comes along.

So yes, I would treat him in the same fashion as you did the negro; he's practically begging for such treatment, after all.

[:Aware:]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

you disgust me, rascist whore sucking slag, i hope you all die very slowly and painfully

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

you disgust me, rascist whore sucking slag, i hope you all die very slowly and painfully

You have been sternly warned for insulting one of our SENIOR (sorry Mrs. Rogers) members. In addition, I have assigned extra warning points for poor capitalization!

[Talitha]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

The boy is indeed whiter than blinding white, but there is a definite negrotic attitude about him - his chest is tattooed with a homage to a certain wardrobe malfunction, which would indicate he's only using your daughter until someone bigger, bustier and blacker comes along.

So yes, I would treat him in the same fashion as you did the negro; he's practically begging for such treatment, after all.

Mrs Rogers, as per usual, your words have come true.
The Goth-Like image that she fell in love with only 2 months ago was a passing phase and she has moved on.
I cannot relate here what actually happened, but I'll tell you more when I see you in the Nail Parlour.
Thank you Brother Salvation Seeker for your help in this matter.

She has moved on to another, and I'd like to have an opinion from a Pastor on this new love in her life.
This picture arrived today Postmarked Cuba. The young man's name is Fidel, and from what I can gather he may unfortunately be a Catlicker.
The only Saving Grace so far is that he has a Godly Mullet.


Pastors, your views please.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

[ATTACH]163[/ATTACH]
Pastors, your views please.

This is a picture of the :aware: poster who has been recently banned for disrespecting GOD'S OWN CHURCH. We already have HIS name and address, so it is merely a matter of asking whether you want this nigra to live at Guantanamo or with the fishes.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

You have been sternly warned for insulting one of our SENIOR (sorry Mrs. Rogers) members.

Good grief! I believe Aware has something of a crush on me, seeing as he sought out two of my posts in the hope I would pay him some much-needed attention.

He didn't seem like much of a conversationalist anyway.

Mrs Rogers, as per usual, your words have come true.

It is both a blessing and a curse, dear Talitha.

The Goth-Like image that she fell in love with only 2 months ago was a passing phase and she has moved on.
I cannot relate here what actually happened, but I'll tell you more when I see you in the Nail Parlour.

I look forward to it; I will present you with an idea I have regarding young Fidel, seeing as he could scrub up quite nicely with a little True Christian™ TLC.

[bridging-the-gap]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

Nicely said!

Just let her live her own life.

[Marshall]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

By letting people lead their own lives we would be doing them a disservice in the blue eyes of Jesus. We are to guide folks toward Jesus and not let them backslide into Satans grasp. That sometimes means a little pushing is required to get the point across that Jesus wants you to behave whether it feels good or not.

[TheConfusedOne]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

Good grief! I believe Aware has something of a crush on me, seeing as he sought out two of my posts in the hope I would pay him some much-needed attention.

He didn't seem like much of a conversationalist anyway.


It is both a blessing and a curse, dear Talitha.


I look forward to it; I will present you with an idea I have regarding young Fidel, seeing as he could scrub up quite nicely with a little True Christian™ TLC.

Ew. Why would someone do that to their own skin? Are they THAT hateful to their own skin? I see nothing wrong with her in the Before picture.

[La Vie Boheme]

Re: Help Please. Your Prayers Required!

Ew. Why would someone do that to their own skin? Are they THAT hateful to their own skin? I see nothing wrong with her in the Before picture.

I would have to agree. Her skin might be darker than others, but it is only skin. We are born with it, are we not?