[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Dear boy, I will not allow anyone to beat me.

What's this talk about beatings? We are here to help you find Jesus!

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

What's this talk about beatings? We are here to help you find Jesus!

Zeke said that Kiki and her son needed to be beaten, to which I responded that I was creeped otu by the idea of beating the love of Jesus into someone. When you responded to that post with one about tough love, I assumed that you were referring to beatings as tough love. Sorry if I misunderstood you.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Zeke said that Kiki and her son needed to be beaten, to which I responded that I was creeped otu by the idea of beating the love of Jesus into someone. When you responded to that post with one about tough love, I assumed that you were referring to beatings as tough love. Sorry if I misunderstood you.

There is no doubt that children and fools should be beaten. It may be less a matter of beating the love of Jesus into someone than beating the Devil out of them.

The Holy Bible makes the need for beatings plain:

Pro 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Pro 22:15 Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Pro 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Pro 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Pro 26:3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.

So there can be no argument about it. Kiki and her son should be beaten to deliver their souls from Hell.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

There is no doubt that children and fools should be beaten. It may be less a matter of beating the love of Jesus into someone than beating the Devil out of them.

The Holy Bible makes the need for beatings plain:



So there can be no argument about it. Kiki and her son should be beaten to deliver their souls from Hell.

Absolutely!

Beatings are indeed tough love. However, Phoenix, any one of us would gladly beat you -- or Kiki's son or her nephew -- to within an inch of your life with a flogger made of rusty barbed wire if it would expel the demons of disobedience from your body and allow you finally to come to Jesus! THAT, my dear Phoenix, is just how much we love you.

[Talitha]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

A good Old Fashioned beating carried out by a True Christian™ is carried out with LOVE in his Heart not malice.
When a Christian person undergoes a beating it reminds them of how Jesus suffered for Our Sins.
Jesus wants us to know how HE suffered and smiles on us when we remind others of HIS suffering.

A True Christian Man™ (or woman) with a FIRM RIGHT HAND is good to find.

[Talitha]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Kiki dear, I have some news.

One of our good Pastors paid me a visit earlier today.
As you know, our Church does so much to help out , Deprived, Homeless, Crippers, Wayward Women and the like.
Now, I'm sure you're none of those but after our meeting I was takento one side and it was mentioned (in confidence) that you may be in need of a position of employment and he had heard I may be looking for a new Housekeeper at my Mansion. Well, he insisted I needed a new one!
Funnily enough, my present Housekeeper being a no-good lazy Messican is soon to be thrown out leaving my employ.
There may be a vacancy on offer!!
You'd have full use of the Housekeepers Bungalow on the Estate plus food and warmth included.

I don't need an answer straight away Honeypie, so you just think about it.

Meanwhile I have to help out at Sister Thumpers. Apparently she saw Pastor Ezekiel looking at some pictures on his Computer and got all upset. I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding as our Pastors are always having to check out things on the Internet, especially Sites where Wayward Women need Saving.

Catch you later
YIC
Talitha

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Absolutely!

Beatings are indeed tough love. However, Phoenix, any one of us would gladly beat you -- or Kiki's son or her nephew -- to within an inch of your life with a flogger made of rusty barbed wire if it would expel the demons of disobedience from your body and allow you finally to come to Jesus! THAT, my dear Phoenix, is just how much we love you.

Thanks, but no thanks.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Dear boy, I will not allow anyone to beat me.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Friend, that is the demons in you talking. As good, loving Christians, we will not stand by and watch our fellow humans be twisted and addled by demons until they think they don't want to be beaten. If you are so stricken by demonomania that you genuinely think you don't want a beating, then clearly beating the sin out of you is the only compassionate option.

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Friend, that is the demons in you talking. As good, loving Christians, we will not stand by and watch our fellow humans be twisted and addled by demons until they think they don't want to be beaten. If you are so stricken by demonomania that you genuinely think you don't want a beating, then clearly beating the sin out of you is the only compassionate option.

You have to catch me first.

[Petal]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Thanks, but no thanks.

man why you so negatives? your posts be a stone in landovers shoe, a fly in a bowl of soups, panties stuck in true christain™ buttcracks

my kitty Mr.Fangle read your posts an he say it be like eatin garden salads, he not want them niether, it true

so there!

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

man why you so negatives? your posts be a stone in landovers shoe, a fly in a bowl of soups, panties stuck in true christain™ buttcracks

You find it odd that I decline someone's offer to do me harm?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

You find it odd that I decline someone's offer to do me harm?

You'd happily pay some herpes-riddled Jewish biker to ruin your chances of eternal salvation by shooting a bolt of metal through your face or using a needle to pour ink into your skin, but you spit in Jesus' face when He outstretches His Hand to offer you eternl Happiness with Him? Yeah, that does seem a bit odd, now that you mention it.

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

You'd happily pay some herpes-riddled Jewish biker to ruin your chances of eternal salvation by shooting a bolt of metal through your face or using a needle to pour ink into your skin,

I really couldn't care less what religion a tattoo artist practices, and I know enough about asceptice procedure from having worked in a hospital to choose an establishment that is in compliance with health codes.

but you spit in Jesus' face when He outstretches His Hand to offer you eternl Happiness with Him? Yeah, that does seem a bit odd, now that you mention it.

I don't spit at anyone. It's rude and gross. And if I recall correctly, what I declined was an offer from one of the LBC fellows to administer a "godly beating" to me. THAT I absolutely refuse.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

I really couldn't care less what religion a tattoo artist practices, and I know enough about asceptice procedure from having worked in a hospital to choose an establishment that is in compliance with health codes.

Oh, so you make sure that it's a nice, clean, herpes-free Jewish biker that you get to stab a bit of metal through your face or inject ink into your skin? That makes it alright then.

I don't spit at anyone. It's rude and gross. And if I recall correctly, what I declined was an offer from one of the LBC fellows to administer a "godly beating" to me. THAT I absolutely refuse.

Metaphorically spitting. Friend, if your car was broken, and a friendly stranger offered to help fix it, would you be this aggressive towards them? Your immortal soul is in very bad shape, and we only want to help you.

[Phoenix Risen]

Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™

Oh, so you make sure that it's a nice, clean, herpes-free Jewish biker that you get to stab a bit of metal through your face or inject ink into your skin? That makes it alright then.

You got it.

Metaphorically spitting. Friend, if your car was broken, and a friendly stranger offered to help fix it, would you be this aggressive towards them? Your immortal soul is in very bad shape, and we only want to help you.

If he offered to fix my car by taking swings at it with a sledge hammer, yeah, I'd refuse his help.