Special Tithe

**Newleaf** · 10-20-2009, 04:24 AM

Re: Special Tithe

There are three men a woman must obey without question:
1. Her husband
2. Her father
3. Her pastor

God made men much more intelligent than women. And it was not just a man, but your pastor that told you this, so you can be sure he is following the will of the Lord. Get over there and apologize for taking so long to come to your senses. You better give him some extra-special treatment to make up for doubting him, and the Lord.

**Lola Handcock** · 10-20-2009, 04:33 AM

Re: Special Tithe

So its OK that he is a married man and I am not his wife ? Forgive me if I ain't to smart after all I am a woman.But it sure sounds like adultery to me.

**Newleaf** · 10-20-2009, 04:46 AM

Re: Special Tithe

Well, usually if a woman thinks she knows better than a man, she is forgetting her place. Especially if that man is her pastor, and she thinks she knows better than he what the will of God is, relating to matters of tithing and the church.

Hmm, maybe I am wrong, I am also a woman, after all. This dilemma of yours is making my head hurt.

Women weren't made for such critical thinking. I think we need a man in this forum to give us guidance, please? We can't figure things like this out by ourselves.

**Lola Handcock** · 10-20-2009, 05:04 AM

Re: Special Tithe

thank you for understanding ,now my head hurts and a few other things as well

**JennyD** · 10-20-2009, 05:11 AM

Re: Special Tithe

My new church accepts special tithes too, Lola! It's nothing unusual, you just have to find the right thing to please the Lord.

When I first got back to Oregon from Freehold, I was pretty tight on cash. I told the people at my new church, and they said they'd make special arrangements for me.

All they asked of me was to donate a couple of pints of blood per month! They're closely affiliated with the Red Cross, you see, and they collect blood for a local hospital. Being a good Christian woman, I naturally have pure blood.

After a while, they told me that if I could find a few virgin girls to donate regularly -- their blood is even purer than mine! -- then I could stop donating my own blood. Well, it didn't take long! I just went to the local college campus, met up with the Campus Crusade for Christ group, and got four girls right off the bat!

SO now, I'm more a collector than a donator, I guess. But it's all for the red-hot Love of Jesus!

Is that the sort of arrangement Pastor Deacon Fred had in mind? And are you sure you didn't mean Pastor Ezekiel? He usually counsels the young widows who are short on cash.

**Lola Handcock** · 10-20-2009, 05:17 AM

Re: Special Tithe

well not quite the same ,it was more of the duties a wife has with her husband.You know the deed,we preform 3 weeks a month and the hide for a week .
No It was not Pastor Ezekiel I have never been to Freehold and have never met him,but he is a good looker

**JennyD** · 10-20-2009, 05:36 AM

Re: Special Tithe

Originally posted by Lola Handcock View Post

well not quite the same ,it was more of the duties a wife has with her husband.You know the deed,we preform 3 weeks a month and the hide for a week .
No It was not Pastor Ezekiel I have never been to Freehold and have never met him,but he is a good looker

Oh, Pastor Deacon Fred had you scrub his toilets?

Well, nothing to be ashamed of there, dear!

**BS artist** · 10-20-2009, 08:33 AM

Re: Special Tithe

It sounds like your a harlot.
Charlatan.

**Lola Handcock** · 10-20-2009, 02:23 PM

Re: Special Tithe

Originally posted by BS artist View Post

It sounds like your a harlot.
Charlatan.

My name is Lola ,can't you read?

Jenny I wasn't scrubbing his terlot,Have you ever been with a man ?are you a virgin ?Don't make me say the word please!

**FoundGirlJNB** · 10-20-2009, 07:31 PM

Re: Special Tithe

Originally posted by Lola Handcock View Post

My name is Lola ,can't you read?

Jenny I wasn't scrubbing his terlot,Have you ever been with a man ?are you a virgin ?Don't make me say the word please!

I know Lola, he made you get on your knees, didn't he? And then he made you polish his shoes. I assure you, this is very normal.

I suspect that sometimes this is the wife's suggestion even. It can be extremely tiring being on your knees all the time, tending to your man's needs. This could even lead to a bad back, I would imagine especially with a man such as Pastor Deacon Fred who always has shiny shoes! The wife would then suggest that the husband goes to another women who is willing to shine his shoes, perhaps just now and then!

Pastor Fred is in fact a very gracious and kind man to allow his wife the odd "free" time from her womanly duties!

**Lola Handcock** · 10-21-2009, 02:49 AM

Re: Special Tithe

No He wasn't wearing shoes ,maybe his socks but definitely not his shoes

**Remy Lebeau** · 10-21-2009, 03:36 AM

Re: Special Tithe

Originally posted by Lola Handcock View Post

I need some advice.Today I spent some time with Pastor Fred.He came over to my trailer to console me over the sudden death of my ex husband.
We were talking and the Pastor said he noticed that I did not tithe on Sunday,I tried to explain that I had missed some work last week and was a little short on cash.He told me that he has been under a great strain lately and if I spent some special time with him it would count as my tithe for the week.I told him he was a married man,

Lola, dear, did you not just tithe $1500 to that JACKAL!!!

Don't pay any addle brained woman or non-True Christian any mind. If you haven't paid him that $1500 yet I'd advise you spend it on a U-Haul rental and get your butt up to Freehold. Satan has infiltrated your church. Not surprising seeing as Landover Baptist is the only TRUE True Christian Church out there.

No, he cannot take liberties with you. In fact, he isn't even a real pastor if he's trying to get you to indulge in adultery.

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:2

Originally posted by Lola Handcock View Post

but he said it was OK cause I was a widower.Was Pastor Fred telling me the truth ? or was it an excuse to be with me in a special way.

Technically, Lola, you aren't a widow, per say...

"Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. For some are already turned aside after Satan." - 1 Timothy 5:9-15

As you can see, you're not really considered a widow because you are under 60 years old. Widows never remarry, but instead continue their godly lives as old crones. And being a younger woman (and women being naturally inclined to harlotry), you will crave tallywhacker and sin against God. You've already corrupted this Fred fellow into a pathetic sexually deranged sycophant with your feminine wilds!!!

**Lola Handcock** · 10-21-2009, 03:51 AM

Re: Special Tithe

Thank you so much Remy,I did give Pastor Fred the $1500. in cash .Now I sure wish it would have gone all the the LBC.I knew he was taking advantage of me in a time of weakness.He was over today and tried the same thing again,I told him that I was talking to the folks at the LBC about it.He got mad and left.

I will pray that Jesus forgives me for having feminine wilds.What ever they are.But if you say I got them well I must have them.I trust you and I know you would not tell me no fibs.As soon as I can save some cash I will be heading north to Freehold.
Does Freehold have any bakeries that make fresh homemade pies? I have 2 blue ribbons from the county fair for my apple pie.Maybe some day I can make one for you.

YIC Lola

**Remy Lebeau** · 10-21-2009, 08:58 PM

Re: Special Tithe

Originally posted by Lola Handcock View Post

Thank you so much Remy,I did give Pastor Fred the $1500. in cash .Now I sure wish it would have gone all the the LBC.I knew he was taking advantage of me in a time of weakness.He was over today and tried the same thing again,I told him that I was talking to the folks at the LBC about it.He got mad and left.

I will pray that Jesus forgives me for having feminine wilds.What ever they are.But if you say I got them well I must have them.I trust you and I know you would not tell me no fibs.As soon as I can save some cash I will be heading north to Freehold.
Does Freehold have any bakeries that make fresh homemade pies? I have 2 blue ribbons from the county fair for my apple pie.Maybe some day I can make one for you.

YIC Lola

I'm sure they have bakeries in the Des Moines area, but most True Christian women are cooks or have a staff that does that kind of thing. I have this old fat nigress named Mrs Eddie Mae Reed who makes mean pancakes and pies. My wife was introduced to her by Mrs Vasoline Johnson. But I'd be willing to try out your pie. God knows that old nigress is uppity since she got here. I guess she's set herself up as the head nigress. Must be a law of the jungle thing.

Special Tithe

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