[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

Why take the longer, less efficient, and arguably more idiotic way then? Its like he's daring you to watch it, if he didn't want you to be tempted, why allow the temptation to exist? If you say its because he's testing us, well that's kinda sick. Like a kid playing with ants, placing block in their path to see what they'll do. He's god, he's omniscient, he already knows everything about everyone, whats the point of all this other stuff?

Translation:

Oh boo hoo hoo! I don't understand everything God does for me so I spend my time thinking up idiotic and trivial questions to show how much smarter I am than God.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

Only an unsaved idiot would dare question God's Grace. He does things His way, not yours, fool.

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
Proverbs 28:26

Why take the longer, less efficient, and arguably more idiotic way then? Its like he's daring you to watch it, if he didn't want you to be tempted, why allow the temptation to exist? If you say its because he's testing us, well that's kinda sick. Like a kid playing with ants, placing block in their path to see what they'll do. He's god, he's omniscient, he already knows everything about everyone, whats the point of all this other stuff?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

Why didn't God just blip the video out of existence rather than going to all the trouble of making her warn everyone about it? He's supposed to be able to pretty much anything right? If he created the universe, I'm pretty sure he can unmake it just as easily...and that would include one insignificant video on the human internet.

Only an unsaved idiot would dare question God's Grace. He does things His way, not yours, fool.

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
Proverbs 28:26

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

Bernal, the hand of God is behind all that happens on this earth. If a sparrow falls to earth, he knows of it. Do you think that it is not possible or even likely that the Lord guided Sister Glendora to the knowledge of this evil film so she could thereby protect and guide other more impressionable of God's followers away from such depravity and the possibility of them inadvertently defiling themselves?

Why didn't God just blip the video out of existence rather than going to all the trouble of making her warn everyone about it? He's supposed to be able to pretty much anything right? If he created the universe, I'm pretty sure he can unmake it just as easily...and that would include one insignificant video on the human internet.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

So Jesus is in hell now, is he?

So what films do you recommend?

Because I've learned more about life from "Y Tu Mama Tambien" than the KJV1611 will ever teach me.

Nonse, let me just open my leather tooled desk Bible open and go to a random passage; What I read is

For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.--Matthew 13:12

PRAISE!
Wisdom right there.

[Bernal]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

It's Jesus who will frazzle, frizzle, and fry you in the pits of Hell, Bernal. I am trying to save your soul and educate you about films at the same time.

A hopeless task, I dare say, although in several years time, if Jesus hasn't booted you into the never-ending flames, you may see such films differently yourself. In the meantime you need to give up your deceitfullness, whoreoms, and perversions and seek the Lord more actively.

You should spend less time watching silly foreign films and more time reading the KJV1611. This is the way to wisdom.

So Jesus is in hell now, is he?

So what films do you recommend?

Because I've learned more about life from "Y Tu Mama Tambien" than the KJV1611 will ever teach me.

[Enobarbus]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

No doubt the little red and yellow witch thought it had fascinating undertones of class struggle. Jesus is not pleased.

Anyway, making a valiant attempt to bring this thread back to the original subject, I am amazed that no-one so far has mentioned the single most evil feature of bicycles - they use absolutely no oil whatsoever. Selfishly using a bicycle makes it far harder to win public support for the liberation of poor, oppressed, oil-rich countries. It seems hard to imagine what sort of a monster would be so lacking in compassion for their fellow human beings as to ride a bike, thus giving the US no incentive whatsoever to bring democracy to Towelheadistan, but remarkably some sick individuals continue to do exactly that.

That is a good point. All these little yellow people are commies.

[Enobarbus]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

Oh, Eno, you've made me see a whole new side of myself. You've guided me through a dark tunnel and my thanks are neverending.

Bahaha.
I bet you find yourself amusing, typing out posts like you know everything about that person. Actually, it's more amusing to ME.
You aim to frazzle us "children" with your long sentences and high-use of vocabulary when you are really showing off how self-important you are.
Congratulations.

I don't find what I wrote in the least bit amusing. It came from the heart, and has no deliberately long sentences (it's just a habit of mine to write like that) and no "high-use of vocabulary", if I understand what you mean.

Show me a single word in my post that could be considered particularly obscure or unusual. If you want to see a pretentious use of vocabulary you should go and check out Andy Dowman's writing, if it's still on the Net.

I am not amused, Bernal, I am saddened that you and thingme think that that film is somehow good.

Nor do I want to frazzle you children, Bernal. No, I am trying to prevent you being frazzled and to educate you.

It's Jesus who will frazzle, frizzle, and fry you in the pits of Hell, Bernal. I am trying to save your soul and educate you about films at the same time.

A hopeless task, I dare say, although in several years time, if Jesus hasn't booted you into the never-ending flames, you may see such films differently yourself. In the meantime you need to give up your deceitfullness, whoreoms, and perversions and seek the Lord more actively.

You should spend less time watching silly foreign films and more time reading the KJV1611. This is the way to wisdom.

[Bernal]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

You lot are real sophisticates, aren't you? Real high-brows. You like your humour subtle, understated, and telling.

Some would say that this film was pap aimed at the sexually and emotionally immature -- little more than a silly vehicle to depict women having orgasms. But no doubt they are missing all the nuances that the likes of you and the other little yellow witch see straight off. How tastfully it is done and the artistic justification for it all in the way it lays bare the darker aspects of the human condition and gives us sharp new insights into the hearts and minds of men and women, for example.

Oh no, it is not just drivel and soft-porn deceitfully disquised as something else.

How old are you Bernie? Ten? Or are you about 12 and a bit slower than most?

Oh, Eno, you've made me see a whole new side of myself. You've guided me through a dark tunnel and my thanks are neverending.









Bahaha.
I bet you find yourself amusing, typing out posts like you know everything about that person. Actually, it's more amusing to ME.
You aim to frazzle us "children" with your long sentences and high-use of vocabulary when you are really showing off how self-important you are.
Congratulations.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

You lot are real sophisticates, aren't you? Real high-brows. You like your humour subtle, understated, and telling.

Some would say that this film was pap aimed at the sexually and emotionally immature -- little more than a silly vehicle to depict women having orgasms. But no doubt they are missing all the nuances that the likes of you and the other little yellow witch see straight off. How tastfully it is done and the artistic justification for it all in the way it lays bare the darker aspects of the human condition and gives us sharp new insights into the hearts and minds of men and women, for example.

Oh no, it is not just drivel and soft-porn deceitfully disquised as something else.

No doubt the little red and yellow witch thought it had fascinating undertones of class struggle. Jesus is not pleased.

Anyway, making a valiant attempt to bring this thread back to the original subject, I am amazed that no-one so far has mentioned the single most evil feature of bicycles - they use absolutely no oil whatsoever. Selfishly using a bicycle makes it far harder to win public support for the liberation of poor, oppressed, oil-rich countries. It seems hard to imagine what sort of a monster would be so lacking in compassion for their fellow human beings as to ride a bike, thus giving the US no incentive whatsoever to bring democracy to Towelheadistan, but remarkably some sick individuals continue to do exactly that.

[Miss Hikari]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

I do appreciate the difficulties someone like you must have, Miss Hikari, but this is not the solution. All manner of questions are raised -- you mention going for bike rides again...

No, Miss Hikari, your only hope is to develop a relationship with Jesus. Jesus alone has the Grace to accept us despite our blemishes. All we have to do is repent, accept him as our personal Saviour, and tithe to Landover.

Attempting to re-establish a relationship with your bicycle won't do, Miss Hikari. Why did it leave you the first time? What reason have you got to think that any self-respecting bicycle seat is going to want a serious relationship with you anyway? No, Miss Hikari, you will find that few bicycles are as accommodating as the one in that film.

Peace and contentment on this earth comes through a relationship with God, Miss Hikari. Not through defiling bicycles.

No thanks. You can keep Jesus. My friends and I are riding out to the beach today! And I've never orgasmed while riding a bike... Maybe I'm not doing it right....

[Enobarbus]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

This gives me a reason to start going on bike rides again. Thanks for the tip Landover!

I do appreciate the difficulties someone like you must have, Miss Hikari, but this is not the solution. All manner of questions are raised -- you mention going for bike rides again...

No, Miss Hikari, your only hope is to develop a relationship with Jesus. Jesus alone has the Grace to accept us despite our blemishes. All we have to do is repent, accept him as our personal Saviour, and tithe to Landover.

Attempting to re-establish a relationship with your bicycle won't do, Miss Hikari. Why did it leave you the first time? What reason have you got to think that any self-respecting bicycle seat is going to want a serious relationship with you anyway? No, Miss Hikari, you will find that few bicycles are as accommodating as the one in that film.

Peace and contentment on this earth comes through a relationship with God, Miss Hikari. Not through defiling bicycles.

[Enobarbus]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

I enjoyed when the other woman starts looking at her bicycle in a whole new perspective. Haha.


Foreign films ROCK!

You lot are real sophisticates, aren't you? Real high-brows. You like your humour subtle, understated, and telling.

Some would say that this film was pap aimed at the sexually and emotionally immature -- little more than a silly vehicle to depict women having orgasms. But no doubt they are missing all the nuances that the likes of you and the other little yellow witch see straight off. How tastfully it is done and the artistic justification for it all in the way it lays bare the darker aspects of the human condition and gives us sharp new insights into the hearts and minds of men and women, for example.

Oh no, it is not just drivel and soft-porn deceitfully disquised as something else.

How old are you Bernie? Ten? Or are you about 12 and a bit slower than most?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

Bernal, the hand of God is behind all that happens on this earth. If a sparrow falls to earth, he knows of it. Do you think that it is not possible or even likely that the Lord guided Sister Glendora to the knowledge of this evil film so she could thereby protect and guide other more impressionable of God's followers away from such depravity and the possibility of them inadvertently defiling themselves?

Godly point Brother Enobarus. As all Landover Baptist know Mother Glendora has crusaded tirelessly against self-rape. Stuff like this video she posted just instigates that terrible crime.

[Enobarbus]

Re: A Warning About Bicycles!

Yeesh, I was just asking a question.
Are you hinting that god showed her this video?

Bernal, the hand of God is behind all that happens on this earth. If a sparrow falls to earth, he knows of it. Do you think that it is not possible or even likely that the Lord guided Sister Glendora to the knowledge of this evil film so she could thereby protect and guide other more impressionable of God's followers away from such depravity and the possibility of them inadvertently defiling themselves?