A call for help!

[Jim Stevens]

Brothers and sisters in Christ I have a grave problem and I am hoping that some of you fine Christ guided souls can lend a hand.

As I have stated in my introduction the Lord has seen fit to bless my wife with a fine little warrior in Christ. To help keep her in good health I run her every day twice a day after we finish our King James Bible circa 1611 studies. To this end I have been in search of a good running shoe but it seems like I am beset on all sides by s*t*n in this endeavor. The problem is as follows:

Nike- named for a s*t*n*c pagan goddess.
Reebok - named for some sort of horned cloven animal in Godless Africa
Adidas - founded by two Godless nazi brothers (who were most likely queer)

Are there no Christian shoes that I could buy for my wife?

[A Follower]

Re: A call for help!

If it's a girl why does it need to be able to run?

Anyway the Bible requires shoes made out of iron and brass, so you're right, none of the brands you mentioned make the appropriate shoes. Personally I've had no luck buying off the shelf shoes and had to go to a blacksmith to have shoes made.

Deuteronomy 33:25 Thy shooes shall bee yron and brasse, and as thy dayes, so shall thy strength bee.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: A call for help!

I must have missed that big sign on the door that says "open day for idiots".