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Are there foods to keep away from when trying to live a true Christian lifestyle? I already stay away from hot dogs and fish.
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Re: Satanic foods?
well, Sister, there are many foods that we consider an abomination to The Lord.
The Devil is always there trying to trick you.
I would think that having come away from the Cannibalistic Cattlicker cult that a hearty American meal is what you need.
First on my list has to be Molasses. How anyone can stomach such a thing is beyond belief.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: Satanic foods?
And of course, we can't forget Jello... green Jello.
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Re: Satanic foods?
I've been trying to keep this one away from Petal. I'm sure she'd be upset, but these are freely available from non-True Christian™ food stores:
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Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: Satanic foods?
Avoid satanic weiners, ladies!
Godly bananas are the preferred snack for all Christian ladies.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Satanic foods?
That's probably a good idea too.Originally posted by Sister of Sacred Suffering View Post
Anyone gotkitty bloodtomato sauce?Hai guiz wuts goin on in dis internet?
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Re: Satanic foods?
I wouldn't go so far as to say cabbage soup is satanic, but it certainly gives one tremendous insight into the sulphurous stench of Hell when working it's way through one's system ... as does steamed broccoli. So rather than being devil-sent, perhaps these foods are God's way of frightening the Hell - and therefore sin - out of us?Last edited by Mrs. Rogers; 07-13-2007, 04:57 AM.True Christians are Perfect!
Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.
Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.
For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.Comment
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Re: Satanic foods?
How can fish be evil? Jesus himself fed 5000 people with Fish.Comment
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Re: Satanic foods?
You'll have to take that up with Sister Sacred. I think It's a left-over from her Demonic Cattlicking ways. I believe that a fishy smell is quite common amongst Priests.Originally posted by Omerta View Post
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: Satanic foods?
I stick firmly to my rigidly held belief that any fruit or vegetable that resembles the male organ is inappropriate for True Christian Women to handle or consume because it invokes carnal lust. This is apparently, no fallacy.
In that vein, I instruct my female parishioners to steer clear of pickles, cashew nuts, various peppers and champignons.The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XLComment
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Re: Satanic foods?
Miracle-Whip. Ah don't even need to explain this to anyone who's eva eaten it, but for those who don't, it must be made from the devil's snot! The most foul viscuous liquid to ever be made, it has the smell of garbage, and all the animal oil/fat has been replaced with satanic chemicals (to appeal to the "eoc-friendly" and Wiccans.Comment
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Re: Satanic foods?
father I have sinned.. I love mellons..Originally posted by Brother Guy View Post
.. I cant help it..
sometimes i by popsicles to my female friends, sometimes even my male friends to.. love the sound it makes, and seing their tounge and lips roling back and fourth over the sweet candy.
and I alwayes ceep bannanas at my home, just in case a good friend pops by
is there something wrong with me
The Christian community has a golden opportunity to train an army of dedicated teachers who can invade the public school classrooms and use them to influence the nation for Christ." --D. James Kennedy,
Convert them b4 they develope free will!!!Comment
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Re: Satanic foods?
stay away from eating people and endangered species, this you will keep out of trouble.Comment
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